December 10, 2016.
I’ve noticed that everyone seems to struggle with joy. People spend enormous amounts of their time and efforts trying to enjoy life. Consider entertainment: movies, sports, music, socializing, hobbies, food, vacations, etc. It seems the majority of our lives are filled with trying to please ourselves; doing things that feel enjoyable. Even our nation’s declaration of independence declares “the pursuit of happiness” to be a fundamental human right.
With all this effort to enjoy life, why are so many people lacking joy? Most people seem happy at times, but their basic character isn’t really happy. They seem to be striving to fill a void. They aren’t really enjoying life like they want to. When I consider successful people, the void becomes striking. People with wealth, influence, friends—all the things we strive for—most of them still aren’t satisfied. They want something more.
I’ve known a few people who really seem joyfully satisfied. They face difficulties in life, but their basic character is one of contentment and they enjoy living almost every day. They find happiness in the smallest things without striving for it.
Are these people just blessed with more chemical “joy juice” in their brains? Perhaps their DNA programmed their bodies to create hormones that give them feelings of contentment, satisfaction, happiness, and joy more regularly. This could be part of the picture, but I think there’s more to it. My own experience in life is a major reason I believe this.
I had fun times as a child, but sadness taints most of my childhood memories. I was a middle child who felt neglected between my older sister and younger brother. I felt like I was a disappointment to my parents and teachers. I was a friendless outcast in school, either ignored or ridiculed. Things changed as I grew in my commitment and trust in God. My faith worked miracles in helping me feel contentment and joy regardless of the circumstances of my life.
I learned to enjoy little things. I could gaze with pleasure at a sunrise, a fire, flowers, trees in the forest, etc. Admiring beauty in creation filled me with peace and joy. I even found ways to enjoy my chores, school work, and exercise. Over time I developed a short list of guidelines for enjoying life.
Have faith
Choose love over selfishness
Enjoy life’s simple pleasures, but don’t strive for pleasure
Try to please others
Enjoy work
Enjoy exercise
Enjoy little things
Minimize complaining
Save the best for last
The last item on the list seems trite, but it’s actually a big one. At meals I usually eat vegetables first because that’s what I like the least, but they are healthy so I want to eat a lot of them. When I eat them first, I’m hungry, ready to consume a lot. They taste better when I’m hungry too. After that, I eat other food that still tastes really good, even though I’m not quite as hungry. I’ll eat some fruit after the main course because I like fruit and it’s healthy too. Finally, if I feel like having a little desert, I save that for last and I eat it slowly, savoring the flavor. I want to enjoy my desert, but not be gluttonous because it’s not healthy. If I eat desert when I’m hungry, I eat too much, too fast. It’s unhealthy and I enjoy it less. This principle of saving the best for last extends to many things in life. Do good, important things that aren’t so easy to enjoy first, then savor the simple pleasures when you can really enjoy them.
Saving the best for last is a psychological technique that works, but alone it won’t satisfy. Embracing a positive attitude enables me to enjoy work, exercise, and many small things most people take for granted. Committed faith in my creator gives my life true meaning and purpose. But my greatest joy enabler comes from repenting of selfishness to choose love (#2 on the list). The selfish pursuit of pleasure actually robs me of joy. Casually enjoying simple pleasures magnifies joy, and living altruistically for others fills me with satisfaction.