Philippians 4:11-12 “I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.”
The apostle Paul shows us that we can be content in all circumstance, but there are actually things we shouldn’t be content with—things we need to strive to make better in this world. My wife taught me how true this is through her example. Discontent with unpleasant circumstances gave her a powerful drive to change them. My life-long striving to be content in all circumstances actually made me more tolerant of these things and less driven to work for improvement.
I also noticed that she struggled to experience peace in her heart even at times when she needed rest. In the end I decided that there are times for peace and contentment regardless of circumstances, but there are also times that we should be driven to change things that aren’t right and good. (Ecc 3:1)
Contentment and discontent play a paradoxical role to bring balance in our lives. How do we find that balance? How do we know when to seek contentment and when to strive for change? It depends on the circumstances.
Acceptance with contentment: There are many things to accept and find contentment in just as they are.
Finances. If we’re working hard and making enough to meet our material needs while sharing a little with those less fortunate we should be content with that. Always striving for a little more because we’re not satisfied with what we have is greed. It robs us of our joy.
Our spouses. None of us married a perfect spouse. We need to accept our spouses, to love and respect them, even with their flaws. It’s okay to lovingly suggest changes we think would be good for our marriage, but when our spouse is unable or unwilling to change, contentment enables us to find joy in life, even in our imperfect spouses. The same attitude applies to the lack of a spouse if you’re single.
Self. It’s good to work at being healthy, attractive, educated, skilled, friendly, socially connected…whatever, but we can become obsessed with ourselves in any of these areas. Work at being a good person and find contentment in accepting yourself with whatever gifts and limitations you have.
Children. For parents, our children often become our biggest source of joy and disappointment at the same time! We care so much and invest so much of ourselves into them that their successes and failures dominate the condition of our hearts. It’s good to care for them, but once we’ve done our best we need to let go and trust them to their maker. It does no good to beat yourself up over your mistakes or stress out wondering if you should have done things differently. When you’ve done your best, take pride in their successes and pray that they’ll learn from their struggles.
Life circumstances beyond our control. If we can’t change something we shouldn’t let it rob us of our peace and joy in life.
Work to change, discontent: But there are also many things we should be striving to change.
Evil in the world. If we love our neighbors we won’t be content when people suffer from various forms of oppression and abuse. Being content to just let others suffer is sinful apathy (James 4:17). We need to do what we can to make the world a better place for everyone.
Sin. Neither should we be content with sin in our own lives. We all struggle with sin, and we can experience peace, joy, and contentment while we struggle with temptations. The key is, never become apathetic and give up the struggle. Keep straining for the goal of holiness as long as you live.
Sloth. If we’re in dept or not giving much to charity because we’re just too lazy to learn and work hard then we should arouse a little discontent and motivate ourselves to a greater level of personal drive.
Marriage and Relationships. All married couples know that marriage takes work. Sometimes we grow weary of trying to be a good spouse, but this is another area of life that’s worth devoting a lifetime of effort to. Do everything you reasonably can to make your marriage perfect. This principle applies to other relationships as well—family members, friends, coworkers, etc. Do what you can to relate to people with love and respect.
Parenting. There’s a line in the movie “Courageous” where one dad tells another that he’s a “good enough” dad. The other responds that he doesn’t want to be just “good enough,” he wants to be a great dad. When it comes to parenting, we can’t be content with good enough. Something needs to drive us to do our best, striving for excellence or greatness. If we’ve done our best, then we can be content and trust God with the rest.
Knowledge and Wisdom. Human beings are created to learn and no matter how much we know, we’ve only scratched the surface of all truth. Never stop learning and growing in knowledge, wisdom, and understanding.
Lost Souls. All believers should live with a desire to save lost souls. Even if evangelism isn’t your calling, you should want to see everyone connected to their Creator and be eager to do what you can to spread the truth of God.
When I was a young boy my Grandma Lena (Fewins) Jones had a framed picture on the wall in her living room inscribed with the words “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” This famous quote by Reinhold Niebuhr has guided me most of my life and it seems to sum up all that I just said about contentment.