November 27, 2019
Ever since I was a teenage boy I’ve struggled with this question. I sensed that unity was very important, but sometimes we have to part ways with people, confront them, or fight for what we think is right. When should we sacrifice unity to stand for what we think is right? How important is unity, really?
Today I am 57 years old and I’ve finally decided that unity is very important, almost always more important than being right. The main thing that drew me to that conclusion is the insight I’ve gained recently into how little we really know. Most of the time when we disagree with someone and it divides us, we’re both wrong, even when we’re both certain we’re right. We divide and fight because we don’t want to be wrong, but in the end we’re both wrong and our division only made us more wrong. Together we’d still be mistaken, but we can find more truth and accomplish more good together than divided.
Unity does not mean uniformity. We can be united, working together in harmony, even with different beliefs.
At a young age I recognized the importance of harmonious unity everywhere. Families need harmonious unity to function. The scriptures command the church to find unity. Sport teams need unity to win competitions. Our nation needs harmonious unity to prosper and maintain security. But in all these areas we struggle with personality clashes, value differences, disagreements over what our goals should be and how to accomplish them, etc. We often confront, bicker and part ways based on how angry our differences make us. Even as a young teen I could see that anger intensity wasn’t a good standard for deciding when being right was more important than being united, so I began my search for a better way to decide.
I still don’t have a standard for making that decision, but I’m convinced that the vast majority of the time (like maybe 95%) when we sacrifice unity we’re making a mistake. The issue we’re upset about isn’t as important as our unity. Most of the time, when we’re so sure that we’re completely in the right, we’re really not even close. We might be a little bit right, but the people we’re opposing are a little bit right too. It’s better to accept each other, try to understand and respect each other, and seek a path to accomplish good together, allowing for differences as graciously as possible.