2012 FCL Week 01

Well it rained too much for any real cricket, but 11 players have scored 10 points each for being selected in the cancelled Saturday fixture against Harptree.

Ben Preece, Simon Strange, Rich Grove, Dave Toole, Kahlu Kumara, Evan Gibbons, Ian Higgins, Gretch Eller, Tim Taylor, Rich Garner & Rob Tinkler all score 10 points.

If this XI had been a fantasy cricket team it would have scored 110 anarchic points, or 120 with Ev as skipper, but it would also cost £110Bn & be way over budget. Alright for some...

Special thanks to Ev for being so expedient with the information.

The vaguely perceptible silver lining is that nobody will miss out too badly if they submit their teams too late to score from this week.

So keep those teams coming in, you're only a maximum of 80 points behind (& we reckon that's nothing).

As far as team standings go, this week is a good one for detectives. Visit the League Table, count this Saturday's players; it's 10 points a time for each team, but beware, 10 of them might be from a captain.

Out in the provisional lead this week, with the cheapest team on an astounding 80 provisional points is Alan Cuthill's still sadly provisional McTWUNT. Also with 80 points & leading fully legitimate team is Joe Burgess' Military Medium Mercenaries, plus Ben Preece's provisional team, Smashed It CC. Those provisionals mean you have to get your money to Dean rapidly.

Stop Press: Voltan's Destroyers made a pre-season change, which their robot secretary submitted before the deadline, but to the wrong email address, so they're now the leading legitimate team, level with McTWUNT on budget. Seems to me like there's something a little bit not quite right about a Sunday skipper being top of the league after a weekend in which only Saturday players scored points; maybe some latent day-of-the-week envy here?

Behind the Military Medium Mercenaries, Voltan's Destroyers & the 2 provisional teams, 5 teams follow, all with 70 points. The cheapest of these is Stroddy's Universal Appeal, but they might be renamed to something more aggressive & scary now, so watch this space.

If these pledges aren't honoured sharpish, then Stroddy's team is actually the third highest scoring legitimate entry.

Next in line are Dave Toole's Blockholes, Wilko's Wide Balls & Simon's Doctor Strange X11, provisionally along with Garnier's currently illegitimate Inspector Morse 11.

There are 10 teams all on 60 points & everyone else isn't really very far behind. Nat Brown's Wickets Please has used the least of the £100Bn budget, but remains provisional while we await confirmation.

Then a string of full or partial Lucky Dip teams, all sadly also provisional: Dave Hewish's Corridor of Uncertainty is the next most inexpensive, then the Saturday Finees Lucky Dip 3, who just lead Jonse's Giants on budget. Gretch's All Creased Up & Ev's Horny Mofos are the best positioned of the confirmed teams on 60, using a budget of £99Bn, followed by Old Ned's Rag 'N' Bones, Duncan's Otis McGraw's Blue XI & Gretch again, this time with Ducks Eleven. Level with them is our leading legitimate non-cricketer entry, Dainty Wallop's Netball Berds, who just managed to get a grip on their budget before the deadline; a special cheer for valiant perseverance there.

Perhaps the most shocking thing about this week's leaderboard is that, of the top 19 teams, 7 of the best placed are still either provisional or in processing. Come on folks!

Who knows what Nelly might have achieved with a bit of budgetary frugality. No teams are too far ahead or behind & it's all to play for going into week 2. Next week we might even get some cricket.

Meanwhile to lighten your day, here are some of the genius highlights leading up to the deadline, from our manager of the week, Al, who is attempting to manage McTWUNT from a foreign country & has given us great relief over the lead up to the start of the game. It’s like you’re right here with us, Al. This is the sort of commitment you need to get into the prizewinning positions of the Easton Cowboys Fantasy Cricket League. Now get your fees paid please Al.

CMON McTWUNT!!!! i've got that fuckin dosh spent already ;)

how can i swap and will it be free? FUCK ME SIDEWAYS, this is really gonna screw my bastard team up.

my absence this year means my fantasy team is a kinda fucked up surrogate, so it aint "fun". it's MUCH more serious than fuckin poxy fun.

ps just sent...an angry email. think alex ferguson meets merv hughes.

is this permissable? 10 man team bit mental but can change again in june. fingers crossed. wouldnt it be a laugh to win with a 5 man team?!

losing the will to live, so fuck it . . .

THANK FUCK THATS OVER!

once again sorry for this last minute fuckry, i appreciate yer prob very busy tweaking n shit.

yes, i am exasperated. ... i'm taking this way too seriously and life's too short.

mr mctwunt is becoming suicidal

buy, BUY NOW. lose the other pronto

thats it computer going off. it's in the lap of the gods now.

i'm really gonna enjoy this from up here, great incentive to stay part of it all.

hope some cricket played over weekend, need to see my boys sit on top right from the start :)))))

PS

Update: OK. We can now confirm payment for McTWUNT, The Inspector Morse 11 & Dave's Corridor of Uncertainty, plus some others. Thanks, though that's how it's gonna stay written now!.

Stroddy's team is henceforth to be known as Bat Shit Mental.

Aaron's submission came through from the land of away & 3 Not Out also join the pack of 11 teams, sharing 10th position on 60 points.