2012 FCL Week 03

Finally, some cricket. Off & then on again, all 3 league sides ended up playing under blue skies, but Saturday's fortunes turned out rather different to those of Sunday.

Saturday's home fixture against Timsbury had been bogged off at Winford, but an 11th hour offer to play at their's was eagerly accepted. Justin stepped in for an incapacitated Grover & took the gloves whilst waiting for Angelo to return from up the M6, as in the meantime James Tinx filled in admirably in the field for the first half of their allotted overs. This has caused us to reassess our scoring system slightly to include the eventuality that a 12th man might play a significant role in a game, as a player selected in the original XI likewise misses a proportion. James & Angelo have both received 15 points for their involvement in the win. Everyone else who played on Saturday scored a decent haul of at least 25 positive points, if only for participating in a win, but the standout fantasy scorer was Kahlu, whose 142 points included 30 for winning the MoM election & 25 for the win, but whose match securing & enlightened 57 not out off 38 balls gained 87 points & was the performance of the weekend.

Kahlu is this week's MVP & a must have, ideally as captain, for any team progressing well this week. But before Kahlu got tired of any vestige of a dramatic struggle & made of joke of the game as a competition, this match had really been won in the field. Bargain value Old Ned picked up 105 points for a little bit of this & a little bit of that, starting with a catch, adding a run out assist & 3 little wickets; RobT1 accumulated 80 for tight, successful bowling & sharp fielding producing a run out, Garnier gleaned 66 for his ultramean swing bowling success & Tim Taylor 57 for economical, effective bowling & a run out assist; it definitely helped to have some of these in your team this week. Otherwise Evan's resolute 50, Joe's dependable 44 & Ben's cameo opening 41 also turn out to be quite handy.

On Sunday the 1sts came up short against a polished & efficient side of largely prodigal children, who looked a little bit vulnerable for a couple of spells, first early & then with a later mini-collapse, but otherwise their positive innings was built masterfully & they wasted little opportunity to score. Most bowlers suffered; some suffered true tragedy, with liberal doses of pathos & irony, but Omar, who took a deep catch safely & kept them unsettled early & whenever he was called upon, & RT2, whose post-drinks return ruthlessly exploited the vulnerable newcomers of their middle order to take 3 wickets in 7 balls & bring false hope of an imminent recovery, both scored very respectably in the field with 42 & 37 fielding points respectively. Andy Chester experienced the game's big if only moment from an alternate dimension into which he'd been spontaneously transported by Martin's psychic thrust, then took the key breakthrough wickets & returned 20 points in the field as Bolts & Gretch took regulation 15 point catches well, but all the other bowlers ended up in the negative.

Wilko & Martin compounded their misery by getting ducks, & Dean needed more than a single run with the bat to get into the positive, but 2 worked for Jonse as he had taken a wicket & Duncan's 6 was all to the good. The batting fared as poorly as the bowling had, offering only brief interludes of hopeful resistance against an efficient & well organised hive of juvenile drones. Neil resisted valiantly at the beginning before getting his own moment of pathos in with Duncan, then having got himself 34 run points, but being driven mad by the tortures of his own mind, he hit the ball straight up in the air. Then, having pretty much lost, we were definitely winning again while Omar cast a spell of bewilderment & proceded to hit the ball hard to all quarters for a rapidfire 31 run points off 18 balls; just as suddenly Gretch was left high & dry & everything else was pretty mediocre. But still hopeful for the future, obviously.

Overall RT2 got 86 points, including 30 for MoM, Omar scored 83, Bolts 59, Justin 58 (the sum of both appearances, including a surprising run out on Saturday (yes, one of the opposition players)), Andy C got 38 & Gretch 37; the hot potatoes this week were Wilko & Stratto, with -8, & Dean with -9.

The 2nds faced the newly formed & enthusiastic Lions, & after struggling to make any inroads for the first session, including a difficult spell for Stroddy, suddenly found themselves ripping their way through them with 4 wickets apiece & identical figures for Wayne & DC2, including a slow motion stumping for Reg, then a committed 30 point c&b from Mackie. Only to encounter stubborn last wicket resistance, but what still seemed like a gettable total of 164 at tea.

4 ducks (Nelly, Reg, Stroddy & Matt Caven) later DC1 hits the only boundary of the innings & then gets out too. Grant's responsible occupation eventually succumbs, Mackie gets another duck, running himself out because he didn't hear a call & the end is nigh. Despite some resistance from James & Wayne, by the time DC2 arrives to join Dave L, the cowboys are still short of their lowest ever total of 39 by 6 runs. DC2 admirably runs numerous times to support Dave L, unbeaten on 17, ensuring a final total of 46 is attained, but still a stunning loss.

There were a couple of hazardous performances out there for team owners this week; Stroddy's line inaccuracies were punished in his short spell, to compound his duck & leave him scoring -15, despite the 10 scored for appearing, & Nelly's grubber duck was unmitigated by any fielding points, & although the shock of one of their players collapsing may have played some part, he scores -5 overall. Matt Caven's duck was offset by a fine sliding catch & Reg got his slowmo stumping, bringing them into the positive, while Mackie's economical bowling & determined c&b saw him safely onto 22 points. James got 24, including the Saturday points, but this weekend's stars were Dave Littleton on 60 all round points, & for their bowling skills Dave Crowle on 70 & MoM winner Wayne Kelly on 102 get you serious points for your investment.

MVP (Most Valuable Player):

This Week:

1st: Kahlu Kumara 142 points

2nd: Steve Ormesher 105 points

3rd: Wayne Kelly 102 points


1st: Kahlu Kumara 162 points

2nd: Steve Ormesher 115 points

3rd: Wayne Kelly 102 points

Honest Al's All Legit Team of the Week:

Neil Boulton 59 £11Bn

Ben Preece 41 £9Bn

Kahlu Kumara* 284 £15Bn

Rob Taylor 86 £11Bn

Steve Ormesher 105 £7Bn

Gretch Eller 37 £8Bn

Rich Garner 66 £10Bn

Omar Miakhil 83 £9Bn

Rob Tinkler 80 £9Bn

Wayne Kelly 102 £8Bn

Dave Crowle 70 £3Bn

Total: 1013 £100Bn

The illegitimate allstars would retain Kahlu as captain then drop Ben & Gretch & go with a 2-4-0-5, no keeper formation. As is the current sad trend, a batsman, Justin Avery (58, £11Bn) would come in & do an approximation of the glove work alongside Dave Littleton (60, £9Bn) (as the team is so short of decent bowling) for a total score of 1053, just over budget at £103Bn.

A clear lead has been established in the Best Bargain of Show category. Pedigree lap specimen DC2 gives you 26.67 Points/£Bn, which is on another realm altogether. Wily lurcher Old Ned is next on 16.43, with rogue terrier Wayne following on 12.75. Watch out for playful spaniel Stroddy though, you get -0.83/£Bn with him just now.

Trophy Tracker:

League Standings:

1st: Horny Mofos 939 points

2nd: McTWUNT! 810 points

3rd: Rag 'N' Bones 788 points

Ev's Horny Mofos were far & away this week's top scoring team, featuring no less than 7 of Honest Al's selections & a couple of other solid performers, with 779 points taking them straight out in front & opening up quite a substantial lead for gold. It was a pretty extreme weekend for Ev, as his Perpetual Underachievers lived up to their name with this week's low score of 198.

Al's McTWUNT! continue their relentless march with 630 points taking them to 810 in silver, but they were also outscored this week by Dave F's Arnie's Army who brought in 644 & are now hovering in 18th on 724. This week's top 3 teams all feature the same captain, but Rag 'N' Bones, the 4th highest scorer this week breaks into bronze position with an alternative option, scoring 628 to end up on 788.

Dave L's Coasters had a great week, scoring 625 points & are now placed 9th on 755. Nelly's recently refined Johnny Jihad's Giants scored 616 & come from literally nowhere into 6th on 766 & TT2's Tucker's Allstars were also big improvers climbing to share 13th with 730 after scoring 610. Ben's Smashed It CC, last week's second placed team, but actual leaders, gathered 599 points & now sit just out of the trophy positions in 4th overall on 789, just ahead of Rich Garner's Inspector Morse 11 currently 5th on 772 after 592 this week. Wayne's Me Bee Ootys scored 598 & are now placed 17th on 728, while Voltan's Destroyers & Bat Shit Mental, who shared the bronze spot last week have fallen back a little but remain on the pace in 8th & 7th, on 753 & 762 after weeks of 573 & 582 respectively

Having Kahlu as captain was a pretty common theme amongst this weekend's major scoring teams; spare a thought for Splendid Splendid however, who switched their captain from Kahlu in a fit of pre-Balkan inspiration for this weekend. Things could have gone a lot worse if it hadn't been Wayne taking over though.

RT2 has proposed The Inspector Morse 11 as team of this week on the basis of clever captaincy, but how can you look further than those Horny Mofos?