Importance of Multiple Caregivers
Fathers, grandparents, siblings, and day care providers, or preschool teachers are all examples of the people children may spend a lot of time with and will share some type of relationship. Any of these relationships can be helpful to a child in developing a sense of self and confidence, however, with the potential that they may also be detrimental. Of course, several secure attachments is the ideal for any child, but most children have many types of relationships and some are problematic. Furthermore, relationship patterns are not permanently embedded as they can improve or they can deteriorate.
Children can handle having multiple relationships, especially if they are all attempting to meet their needs. What is hard is having relationships change. Many relationship changes can be traumatic for a child and result in dysregulation. This may present as excessive crying, an inability to be soothed or by numbing and becoming less engaged and less interested in exploring the world. In preschool age children it may be observed as a difficulty separating from caregivers, emotional or angry outbursts, peer conflict, being overly friendly and seeking attention or avoiding engaging with new people.
Having contact with birth parents after a child has been placed in foster care or after adoption does not compromise the infant’s ability to develop new and secure attachments. In fact, contact with birth parents after separation, particularly in transition to foster care, may well help the child come to terms with the separation, and could play a crucial role in preparing the child to accept a new caregiver. Contact with birth parents may also alleviate divided loyalty in children by showing that the parents accept the fostering arrangement. If infants have established an attachment with their birth parents, consistent contact with them in conjunction with care by the foster, adoptive, extended family is important.