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Working with Individual Differences of Children and Families
How do you begin to understand children’s uniqueness as an individual? Even as infants and toddlers, children have unique, individual ways of taking in the world – sights, sounds, touch, etc. Children respond to these inputs in their own way because they have their own personalities. Some are easy going and some are fussy.
Temperament traits are aspects of individuals’ personalities that are often regarded as innate rather than learned.[15] They are the ways that individuals take in and respond to their bodies and environments. These traits are not set in stone, but consist of biological and genetic pre-dispositions.
Parents/caregivers have their own personality and temperament too. Parent/caregivers’ interactions with their children influence how children process and respond to inputs. Therefore, the way parent/caregivers respond to children’s temperaments contributes greatly to how children process stress, cope with new experiences, problem solve, and learn.
TEMPERAMENT TYPES
Easy: Flexible, good mood, adaptable to new situations, helps parent/caregiver feel effective and competent as a parent/caregiver
Slow to Warm Up: New experiences cause an initial retreat and a longer period to warm up to the situation, often considered shy or timid. Parent/caregiver responses can vary in reaction to the child’s level of reserve.
Difficult: Difficult to predict and modulate. Fussy, withdraws from new situations, difficulty adapting to change, difficult to please, moody and may show intense emotional reactions. Parent/caregiver may feel ineffective as a caregiver. Extra support is needed for both child and parent/caregiver.
Active: Crave movement, seek novel experiences, and can be impulsive in their actions. Parent/caregiver can feel overwhelmed and criticized by others for not setting appropriate limits or controlling child’s activity level.
It may be difficult to determine whether challenging behavior is the result of temperament traits, unmet developmental needs, or other circumstances such as inappropriate parent/caregiver influences. Children with challenging behavior require careful observation and efforts to understand what they are trying to say through their behaviors. Difficult temperament traits include being impulsive, stubborn or inflexibly, difficulty regulating emotions, irritable moods.
Additionally, what is difficult for one parent/caregiver may not be challenging for another. For instance, even a moderately active child may be seen as “difficult” for a parent/caregiver who is not as active or does not think children should be “getting into everything”. Conversely, a slow to warm child may be seen as difficult if a parent/caregiver finds the child’s reluctance to enter into new situations as a challenge. There are also cultural values on behavior styles. In some circumstances, a feisty child might be preferred while a shy child might be seen as not tough enough. There may also be different expectations for girls and boys depending on family and cultural values.
Determining temperament styles is not meant to label a child’s behavior but to bring an understanding of the unique way a child approaches situations.
Parent/caregivers can use this information to anticipate children’s reactions and often help them to appreciate the strengths and challenges of their parenting style. Temperament traits cannot be understood based simple observations of behavior at any given time. They are best identified by those who have consistent experiences with the child and see how a child responds to varying circumstances over time.
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