Haiku Lesson 3
August 2013
Traditional Japanese School
WHCschools
Susumu Takiguchi, Instructor
LESSON 3: advent/arrival of spring
Protocol:
1 Kigo: In this lesson, I will not give any specific kigo. Instead, I will set a theme and the theme is the coming of spring, i.e. anticipation of the arrival of spring and/or the joy of having spring actually sprung. Use either established kigo or kigo of your own invention, which indicate the harbinger of spring and/or various things symbolising the arrival of spring;
2 Form: 3 lines or variations thereof, 5-7-5 or shorter, either by
syllables or by other counters (5-7-5 is not denied in my school but it is
not positively endorsed either. It is just a convenient maximum length);
3 Rhythm, stress, sound, flow, rhyming etc. are more important than the
syllable count in determining the length of each line, or number and choice
of words;
Re: Traditional Japanese School: Lesson 3-1 "Spring"
In Lesson 3, I will be explaining a little bit about my own position as a haiku poet.
In a nutshell, I have been trained on an orthodox basis, i.e. traditional (sometimes referred to as classical) Japanese haiku. This has limitations in terms of subject matter, universality (especially in the world context) and innovation. Therefore, I have been developing my own revisionist line to try to solve these limitations. At this School, the orthodox Japanese haiku is taught, interspersed with my additional comments and even criticism from the revisionist point of view. Separately, I have been developing a radically different line called the Shintai Haiku, which is a form of vers libre and which would bring in many more possibilities in poetic creation.
For this purpose, I will first deal with the basics of the haiku orthodoxy. Lesson 3-1 is going to be a hard work and heavy reading for you but haiku cannot be learnt like fast-food or TV commercial. In fact, ironically the more you learn, the less you feel you understand it, and the better haiku you write, the more you become humble. So, if you are feeling you understand it or do not like eating humble pie, let the alarm bells be ringing for you. The text of the lesson is an excerpt from one of my books.
HOW HAIKU IS COMPOSED IN JAPAN IN PRACTICE
Let us look at some of the criteria for composing and appreciating Japanese haiku by quoting actual works by modern Japanese haiku poets. The criteria reflect traditional practices but there are now different schools of haiku which do not follow them. The following sections are presented as an introduction to the former and not as a denial of the latter.
[ 1 ] The 5 - 7 - 5 Format (seventeen syllables)
Examples following this rule
Ka-ki ku-e-ba/ ka-ne ga na-ru-nari/ ho-u-ry-u-ji
5 7 5
(Eating a persimmon/ temple bell is ringing/ from Horyuji-temple = Shiki)
Ki-ri hi-to-ha/ hi-a-ta-ri-na-ga-ra-/ o-chi-ni-ke-ri
5 7 5
(A single leaf of paulownia/ Has fallen:/ catching the sunlight/ As it went = Kyoshi)
Tsu-bo-ni shi-te/ mi-ya-ma no ho-o no/ha-na hi-ra-ku
5 7 5
(Arranged in a vase/ deep mountain magnolia/ blossoms open = Shuoshi)
a. Examples slightly breaking the rule (hacho)
These are called jiamari (excessive syllables) and jitarazu (insufficient syllables). They have been seen since before Basho's time.
A-ka-i tsu-ba-ki/ shi-ro-i tsu-ba-ki to/ o-chi-ni-ke-ri
6 7 5
(Red camellia blossom, then/ White camellia blossom,/ Both fell to the ground = Hekigodo)
Ya-ma no i-ro tsu-ri-a-ge-shi a-yu ni ugo-ku-nana
5 8 5
(The colours of the mountain move as I fish out the ayu-fish that I've just caught. = Hara Sekitei)
Su-mi-re ho-do na/ chi-i-sa-ki hi-to ni/ u-ma-re-ta-shi
6 7 5
(I wish I could be born again a person as small as a violet. = Natsume Soseki)
Ya-ku-so-ku no/ka-n no tsu-ku-shi wo/ ni-te ku-da-sa-I
5 7 6
(Please cook for me the winter horsetail as you have promised. = Kawabata Bosha)
U-sa-gi mo/ ka-ta-mi-mi ta-ru-ru/ ta-i-sho-ka-na
4 7 5
(Even a rabbit's ear is bent, what heat! = Akutagawa Ryunosuke)
Examples completely ignoring, or denying the rule
Na-tsu-a-sa hi-n-mi-n no ko ga hi-ki-ka-ka-e-ta-ru hi-to-tsu-no ky-a-be-tsu (26 syllables)
(Summer morn a child of the poor/ tugging and hugging/ a head of cabbage = Ippekiro)
Se-ki wo shi-te mo hi-to-ri (9 syllables)
(coughing, even: alone = Hosai)
To-ma-to wo ta-na-go-ko-ro ni, mi-ho-to-ke no ma-e ni, chi-chi-ha-ha no ma-e ni (26 syllables)
(with a tomato on the palm of my hand, my only offering, do I pray in front of Buddha, and in front of my dead parents = Santoka)
Wa-n-ky-o-ku-shi ya-ke-do-shi ba-ku-shi-n-chi no ma-ra-so-n (20 syllables)
(Bent and burnt/ the atomic-bomb site/ a marathon race = Tota)
[ 2 ] Season words
There are more than ten thousand season words and average haiku poets are estimated to use 500 to 1, 000 of them regularly.
Season words expressly mentioning a particular season itself
Are kuruu umi wo wasurete fuyugomori (winter)
(Oblivious to the raging sea I am keeping indoors for the winter. = Ikeuchi Takeshi)
ndai ni ushirode wo tsuki aki no kumo (autumn)
(Sitting on a long stool and leaning backwards with my hands placed behind me, I look at autumn clouds. = Tomiyasu Fusei)
Kamogawa no mizu no kokoro no dokoka haru (spring)
(Somehow the soul of the water of Kamogawa River tells me that spring seems to be with us somewhere. = Nomoto Eikyu)
Aiida wo kikite Roma no natsu no tsuki (summer)
(Listening to Aida, I look up the summer moon over Rome. - Nishikawa Hiroko)
Waga koe no fukimodosaruru nowaki kana (autumn)
(My voice has been blown back by the strong autumn wind. = Naito Meisetsu)
Season words as a symbol of a particular season, or events during that season
Furu yuki ya Meiji wa tohku narinikeri (winter)
(Falling snow/ Ah, the Meiji era is now far behind! = Nakamura Kusatao)
Hisho no ko ni uma yo bohto yo pinpon yo (summer)
(My daughter is enjoying riding a pony, rowing a boat and playing pingpong,
summer holiday. = Inahata Teiko)
Tsuku tsue ni ho wo sasowaretsu ume biyori (spring)
(My steps are enticed by the walking stick towards plum blossoms on a [spring] day. = Ogata Kukyo)
Ikko no hitori ga kakuru nisshabyo (summer)
(One person is missing from our group, sun stroke = Bojo Toshiatsu)
Himosugara sagiri nagaruru tani momiji (autumn)
(All day long thin fog flows along the red and yellow leaves of the valley. = Kawamura Saishu)
Season words inducing associations and inspiring imagination
Usumetemo hana no nioi no kuzuyu kana (winter)
(Even thinned by hot water the arrowroot starch gruel has the smell of cherry blossoms. = Watanabe Suiha)
Toku obi no ashi ni matsuwari hanazukare (spring)
(Undoing the sash that coils round [my] legs, I am weary having been to a cherry blossom viewing. = Mihara Sokyushi)
Season words which are concrete "things", or objects
Hito taki ni kikuna no kaori iya tsuyoku (spring)
(The smell of chrysanthemum coronarium becomes even stronger as I give it a boil. = Takahama Toshio)
Uchiwa tome nani ka kokoro ni todometaru (summer)
(Waving of a fan stopped, something has occurred to me. = Mashimo Masuji)
Historically well-established season words
Ichi no yana, ni no yana Hida no akifukashi (autumn)
(Going from one weir to the next deeper into Hida mountain the autumn is ending. = Saito Hachiro)
Yukuharu no mado ni taretaru tamoto kana (spring)
(Spring is ending, someone's sleeve is hanging across the window. = Nomura Hakugetsu)
Season words with double meaning
Basu ware wo kareno ni hitori nokoshi saru (winter)
(The bus has dumped me and gone, leaving me standing all alone in the withered field. = Iwakiri Tessho)
The withered field, being a winter season word, also represents the feeling of loneliness, desolation and decay in Iwakiri's heart.
Banshu no hei no tsukitaru hitorigoto (autumn)
(End of autumn, end of the stone wall, too, I talk to myself. = Kimura Shigeo)
Here, end of autumn also indicates the end of the wall, and in turn the end of the poet's linkage with his fellow human beings.
Mizubana ya hana no saki dake kure nokoru (winter)
(It has all become dark except the tip of my dripping nose. = Akutagawa Ryunosuke)
This haiku has a zensho (or, brief foreword), saying self mockery and is regarded as the jisei no ku (or, death poem) of this talented but tragic novelist. The drip sitting on the tip of his nose is the winter season word but Akutagawa, soon to commit suicide, compares his desperate and meaningless self to it, sitting useless on the useless nose which is malfunctioning like his life itself.
Some of additional points on season words
Other functions of season words are universality, commonality, depicting broader meanings in a compact way.
Kigasanari = using more than one season word in a single haiku, which is to be avoided. If there are two, one becomes the leading season word.
Kichigai = using words of different seasons in a haiku, which also should be avoided.
Muki = using no season word, either by design or by default
[ 3 ] Kireji (cutting words)
Since kireji is purely a Japanese practice based on the linguistic and grammatical features, there is practically no way of demonstrating it by trying to find the English equivalent. There are, however, ways of gaining similar effects in English, such as the use of commas, semi colons, dots etc. but this is not within the scope of this paper. (For basic understanding of kireji, see Higginson (4).)
[ 4 ] Other features of haiku
Nouns, verbs, adjectives etc.
The general point to observe is to secure concreteness and immediacy and to avoid abstraction and conceptualisation. Nouns are much more important than verbs or adjectives. Avoid abstract nouns expressing such notions as beauty, happiness and honour. Names of actual flowers, birds and places give immediate impact. Adjectives are a problem. Rather than sad, use concrete things to express sadness.
Particles, or "te-ni-wo-ha"
Japanese particles play an important role in haiku, clarifying direction, relationship, tense, spatial positioning, subject/object articulation and all other grammatical inter-relationships. They therefore play the same role as English prepositions, and word order. Being short, normally just one syllable (e.g. ha, ga, ni, te, wo), the Japanese particles are ideal for haiku and are sometimes critical for the success of a haiku.
Rhythms
The main source of haiku rhythm is the 5 - 7- 5 syllable format already discussed. It can be grouped in one or other of two ways, i.e. either 5 + 12, or 12 + 5, but even then there is a notional pause between 7 and 5, or 5 and 7 within the 12 syllables.
Sound properties
The sounds in Japanese are simpler and less varied than those in English. They also have much less accent, stress and intonation, giving a somewhat monotonous, soft and flat impression. There are only five vowels and in theory consonants are always followed by a vowel. Certain English sounds are absent in Japanese, such as v, f, di as in dim. Other English sounds, most notably r and l, are bundled together in a single sound.
The five vowels, a, i, u, e, o, are said to have the following "feelings":
a: grand, rich, bright and positive
i: light, sensitive
u: calm, melancholic
e: mild, elegant, sharp
o: bold, majestic
The rest of the fifty plus one sounds, which form all Japanese sounds, are created by adding these five vowels to consonants, k, s, t, n, h, m, y, r/l, w. The last sound is a soft, nasal version of n. They are said to have the following feelings:
ka, ki, ku, ke, ko: strong, clean
sa, shi, su, se, so: sharp, soft
ta, chi, tsu, te, to: heavy, thick
na, ni, nu, ne, no: sticky
ha, hi, ju, he, ho: light, open
ma, mi, mu, me, mo: rich
ya, yi, yu, (ye), yo: cloudy, closed
ra, ri, ru, re, ro: fluid, smooth
(la, li, lu, le, lo)
wa, (wi), (wu), (we), wo: loud, open
"Rhyming"
Rhyming in haiku is neither as prominent nor as important as in English poems. Its abuse could even make a haiku gimmicky and artificial but used well it can help create a sophisticated and dramatic haiku. Its position is not restricted to the ends but frequently found within the lines. In this sense haiku rhyme is more like refrain explained in the next section and perhaps should not be called rhyme at all in the sense used in English or Chinese poems.
Yama mata yama yamazakura mata yamazakura
(Mountain after mountain, mountain cherry trees after mountain cherry trees = Awano Seiho)
Ikikawari shinikawari shite utsu ta kana
(generation after generation cultivate these rice fields = Murakami Kijo)
Chiru sakura umi aokereba umi e chiru
(Falling cherry flowers fall into the sea - that sea which is blue = Takaya Soshu)
Koineko no koisuru neko de oshitohsu
(Cats in love will persist as cats in love = Nagata Koi)
Ajisai ya ao ni kimarishi aki no ame
(Hydrangea has settled its colour to blue; autumn rain = Shiki)
Refrain
Yuki naran sayo no Nakayama yoru naran
(It must be snowing at Sayo no Nakayama, it must be night. = Hekigodo)
Samukaro, kayukaro, hito ni aitakaro
(You must be cold, you must be itching and you must be wanting to see other human beings. = Shiki)
Kono aki no uragareno yuku karenoyuku
(This autumn I am crossing the desolate fields and going across the desolate fields. = Kyoshi)
Uragaeshi mata uragaeshi taiga haku
(Sweeping a big moth, it turns one side up and then the other side up. = Maeda Fura)
Kanbotan sakishiburi shiburi keri
(Winter peonies, reluctant to flower, very reluctant to flower. = Hino Sojo)
Monono me no hogure hogururu asane kana
(Buds are opening and opening; I am still in bed in the morning. = Matsumoto Takashi)
Tsuki ichirin toko ichirin hikariau
(One moon, one frozen lake, shining at each other. = Hashimoto Takako
This article first appeared in Issue 1 of the World Haiku Review, May 2001.