Editor's Choice Jan 2014
Jan 2014
WHR2013/14 Winter
Editor’s Choice
Vanguard Haiku
THIRD PLACE
morning after...
within her tangled tresses
wilted rose
Gautam Nadkarni
Of the love haiku, or erotic haiku, this particular poem is one of the higher quality examples. The first line, simple and to the point, is an exemplary scene setting. The second contains the phrase which is magical in its effect, “tangled tresses”. The title of one of the most evocative and passionate short verses in modern Japan, written by Akiko Yosano, is Midare-Gami, or tangled hair. If this was a man’s hair, the sight is one of ugliness and off-putting feature. Being a woman’s hair, it assumes added sensuality and beauty. That is just the way it is. The third line is the catch of surprise and pathos. It can be interpreted in so many different ways. It may symbolise the deflowering of a virgin, or a premonition of diminishing love, or even the inevitable decline of the woman’s youth and beauty. On the other hand, it can also be taken to indicate that a rose may wilt but their love is different.
The word “within” implies that the man is perhaps caressing and fondling the hair of his lover when he, or they, woke up the day after the night of passion. It may be a bit too precise a word and “in” might have made it more natural and haiku-like. Talking about realism, the “rose” could not have survived the motion of love-making and therefore “petals” may have been more akin to truth. Of course, if the rose was still not open but in bud form when given by the man, it could just wilt without shedding petals. However, these are too technical points. A rose could still be called rose when all the petals come off and then the haiku poem in question is a very good one.