Papers, May 2008
World Haiku Review Volume 6 Issue 3 May 2008
TECHNICAL & ACADEMIC PAPERS
Conceptual Frameworks for Place-Name Haiku Sequences and Unity Sequences
by
Bruce England, California, U. S. A.
A haiku sequence is a format not much discussed in English haiku literature. It is defined here as two or more haiku that share a common topic or theme. In other words, there is some aspect in each haiku linking them together in relation to the topic or theme. Theoretically, there is no limit on length, except for practical and artistic purposes. There are few sources on how to create a haiku sequence. (1) Commonly, there are two ways to find and create a sequence. You may notice a number of your previously written haiku may relate to one another and can be collected together. You may also write a sufficient number of haiku in a brief period of time that relate to one another. (2) A major constraint on the arrangement of any potential sequence is the quantity and nature of your previously created haiku inventory.
There are many topics and themes for a haiku sequence. The major focus here is on the broad topic of place-names for geographical locations. A location can be any number of places with a name, such as a mountain, desert, beach, river, creek, national park, town, city, neighborhood, street, household, and so on. In reviewing the English haiku literature available to me nothing was found on how to construct a place-name haiku sequence.
The near-absence of writing on haiku sequences and the absence of writing on place-name sequences is a problem for haiku writers and critics. Without some kind of conceptual framework, writers have little to do but continue following the template of the definition for a haiku sequence. As a result, critics only have sequences that follow the definition. Their evaluations and interpretations, if any, are likely limited to whether the haiku and the topic or theme relate to one another, which tends to preclude other possibilities.
The purpose of this paper is to develop two conceptual frameworks, one for place-name sequences and one for other kinds of sequences, in order to provide additional ways to think about creating and evaluating haiku sequences. Currently, there is no challenge to do something different, because there is no framework for seeing something different. As will be shown, there are three elements important to each place-name sequence. First, there are two types of place haiku: general and particular. Second, there are three types of haiku place compositions: all general place, all particular place and some mixture of both. Third, there are two types of haiku unity sequences: first and second. The first-unity sequence is the haiku sequence definition given above. The second-unity sequence is an extension of the first and includes links between haiku. The three elements form a specialized framework for place sequences, and the third element by itself forms its own general framework for creating other kinds of haiku sequence. The specialized framework is embedded in the general framework, and both frameworks can include desk haiku creation.
Two Types of Place Haiku
My first encounter with criticism of a place-name haiku sequence occurred in a 1998 review by Jane Reichold. Back then Tony Mariano and I published a chapbook titled Shorelines. (3) It was a collection of haiku and tanka divided among eleven beaches and places from Pfeiffer-Big Sur in the south to < xml="true" ns="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" prefix="st1" namespace="">Point Reyes in the north. As editor and compiler, my purpose was to give an impression of this stretch of California coastline based on our separate experiences over a thirty-year period. In her review, Reichold wrote the following:
For one who has ‘been there, done that’ the music of the place names echoes out
with greater resonance than many of the poems. Most of which could have been
written on any beach or place and simply assigned to these areas. But I admit it is hard to capture the individuality of a beach where nature is so huge and all encompassing. (4)
My mostly haiku sequence, “San Gregorio,” is reproduced below and will be used for discussion in this and subsequent sections. The numbers in brackets indicate sequential order.
Early morning Walking on the beach
no footprints on the beach only the roof of a car
beyond my own [1] sticks above wet sand [2]
Waves stop, recede In the ocean
sandpipers stop, turn to eat dark sea lion heads
back and forth they flow [3] or bobbing debris? [4]
Bobbing sea lion People hike to cliff
peers into sky, one ocean with binoculars
to another [5] nudist beach below [6]
Through binoculars Poop flies away from
naked man swings golf club almost stalled sea gull
far below the cliff [7] just beyond the cliff [8]
Finished squatting She built a fire
she returns across the sand not for the whole outdoors
ready to jog [9] just for our hands [10]
From the bluff The noise and light
logs and driftwood from the storm last night was a party
cover the beach on the next beach [12] (5)
everywhere in the debris
there are lean-tos and fires [11]
In her review, Reichold implied the existence of two types of place haiku and used the basic criticism of place-name sequences. First, there are general place haiku, which don’t include the name of a place or any unique and recognizable feature of a place. Any feature described is general enough that it could be about some other similar place. Such haiku don’t seem to connect or relate to the place-name. There is also a question about the honesty of the writer. Since a general place haiku could be about some place other than the place-name of the sequence, it’s difficult to judge the integrity of general place haiku in a sequence. Second, there are particular place haiku that attempt to capture “the individuality” of a place. These haiku either include a place-name or some prominent feature readily identifiable with the place.
The “San Gregorio” sequence is a mixture of both types of place haiku. Regular visitors over many years should be able to discern the poems that represent some features of the beach. People who know about the nudist beach to the north would recognize the reference in poems 6-7. Winter visitors would know about storm debris on the beach in poem 11. In poems 6-8 and 11, there are references to a cliff accessible to the public. Perhaps more subtly in poems 6-7 and 12, others would know there are cliff cutoffs to beaches north and south of San Gregorio except at low tide. The remaining seven poems 1-5 and 9-10 (and possibly an eighth, poem 12) are general in nature and could be about almost any other beach in that area. Together the twelve poems represent my experiences at that beach over many years.
Criticism of General Place Haiku
A haiku sequence is typically a label associated with a set of haiku. In this limited perspective, the dominant critical response is to look at the initial arrangement, to see how well the label and the haiku relate together. In a place-name sequence, the basic charge against a general place haiku is that it does not represent or connect to the place-name. This is the basic criticism a critic can make, but there is one additional element that can make the criticism deadlier.
A critic can assume one of three roles in regard to place-name sequences: inhabitant, visitor, or stranger. Inhabitants and visitors obviously have a different perspective than strangers, because they have personal knowledge and experience of a particular place-name. Reichold implicitly identified herself as a visitor to many if not all of the beaches and places in our chapbook. When a critic says, ‘lived there, done that” or “been there, done that,” then they have an image of the place based on their local experience. This image when compared with a place sequence can be a double-edge sword. The image can help the critic understand and appreciate the perspective of the writer, or the image can be combined with the basic criticism to undercut and dismiss the perspective of the writer. In the latter case, a critic can say I have lived or visited there, and some or all of the general place haiku in this sequence do not represent this place.
The basic criticism should not be the only reason to dismiss a place sequence, unless the general place haiku are patently wrong and out of place. The overall arrangement and impression of a place sequence needs to be considered. The following sections attempt to broaden the response of readers and critics so the dominant response is not just questioning the legitimacy of any general place haiku.
Three Types of Place Haiku Compositions
The haiku composition of a place-name sequence is based on the use of place haiku types. A sequence can be composed of one place haiku type, or the other type, or some mixture of both. The composition of the place haiku depends upon the haiku available in a writer’s inventory. There is no one appropriate composition, but each composition has strengths and weaknesses. A sequence of particular place haiku relates to the place-name, but tends to be limited in length and narrow in scope. A sequence of general place haiku can include a variety of haiku topics, but may not seem convincingly connected to the place-name. A sequence of mixed place haiku can include both a relation to place and a wide variety of topics, but the general place haiku it contains still have an uncertain relation to place. Each place composition is briefly discussed.
A particular place haiku sequence tends to be best created with a variety of feature and place words. A certain amount of redundancy can be useful if not overdone. Within the “San Gregorio” sequence, there are four poems that deal with a prominent feature of the beach. In this case, there is an extended cliff or bluff behind the entrance and parking lot. As a separate sequence, they provide shifting views of the cliff from north to south and from summer to winter.
People hike to cliff Through binoculars
with binoculars naked man swings golf club
nudist beach below [6] far below the cliff [7]
Poop flies away from From the bluff
almost stalled sea gull logs and driftwood from the storm
just beyond the cliff [8] cover the beach
everywhere in the debris
there are lean-tos and fires [11]
The sequence works within its limits, but it narrows the overall experience and view of the beach. If there was too much redundancy in terms of too many additional poems using cliff or bluff, then the overall sequence might start to sound monotonous and repetitive. The same could happen if a place-name was used too often in a sequence.
High up in Keet Seel Outside Keet Seel
walking down ladders sleeping on the ground among
face out like stairs cow pies and stars
Imagine four more haiku or even more with Keet Seel somewhere in the text. The challenge of creating a particular place composition is to provide a sufficient variety of haiku about identifiable features of the place, including the place-name, so that any sense of redundancy doesn’t become tiresome and irritating.
A general place haiku sequence can be interesting whether short or long in length. It must be remembered that English haiku overflows with general place haiku that could apply to any number of places. The problem occurs when a specific place-label is assigned to a general place haiku. I remember being taken aback when I first read Reichold’s review. Now, I understand how a general place haiku could be perceived as not being written about the place-label assigned to it. I also understand how it’s possible for a general place haiku written for one place to be true for another place, because it can be just general enough about each location to cover both. A general place haiku can be placed in its proper slot of creation or it can be placed in another slot, which is supposedly improper but actually workable. If you want to keep a journal of your life, then you would prefer the former. If you have other goals, then the latter becomes a possibility. Thus for the reader and the critic, general place haiku in a place-name sequence always contains some degree of uncertainty about the intentions of the writer. The following example is Tony’s general place sequence, “Pfeiffer-Big Sur:”
Fading fog grew dark Silent redwoods stand
turning into a mountain heads mingling in the sky
as the sun rose [1] arms, clasped, sharing light [2]
A lost world’s ruins From this mountain top
these massive redwood pillars unless you remembered wings
holding up the sky [3] all roads lead down [4] (6)
A mixed place sequence includes both place haiku types in some proportion. As a mixed place sequence becomes longer, the writer has the opportunity to create a wider and deeper view of the place-name. A sense of place can include many elements, such as land, water, sky, weather, seasons, plants, and creatures. It can also include the writer, other people, and things. A long enough sequence brings out the wider context of the natural and human activities that occur in a place. It doesn’t create a totality of the place; it creates one individual’s experienced panorama of the place-name. The mixed place “San Gregorio” sequence will be discussed as a second-unity sequence in the next section.
Two Types of Haiku Unity Sequences
Haiku sequences can be divided into two basic unities. Each unity represents two opposing tendencies in regard to renga/renku. Each unity also represents a distinct structural view in regard to place-names and other topics or themes. One haiku can be a single moment. An ordinary collection of haiku consists of many, separate and unattached moments. A haiku sequence provides a first-unity to a set of collected haiku, simply because all the haiku are supposed to relate to the topic or theme of the sequence. A first-unity sequence is the first collected poem beyond the separate haiku. A second-unity is also possible, because the haiku in a sequence can link or relate to one another to some extent outside the topic or theme of the sequence. The links can be explicit or implicit. A second-unity sequence is considered the second collected poem beyond the first poem.
The two haiku unity sequences encompass two opposing tendencies. The first tendency has been to separate first-unity haiku sequences from its roots in renga/renku. This means there are few or no links between the haiku in a first-unity sequence, especially successive links. The second tendency is to bring first-unity haiku sequences back towards its roots but not all the way back. This means there are more than a few links between the haiku in a second-unity sequence, but the intention is not to recreate a pattern of preceding and succeeding links, which is a formal part of renga/renku. The intention is to establish some sort of middle ground between a first-unity sequence and renga/renku.
The two views of the unities can be understood in terms of their different structures. Despite the different structures, there is a desire within each unity to create a satisfying whole. A first-unity is a collective unity of haiku by topic or theme. This haiku unity seems otherwise disconnected and unattached. The unity is an external structure with no internal structure; it’s empty inside like a kind of bubble. In regard to place, the haiku are intended to be representative experiences. An example is our “Highway 1” sequence, in which there are no apparent links between the haiku other than the same highway:
Truckin’ all the way Every sprinkled row
top down, shades on, shirt off of the garden we sped by
California One [1] flashed us a rainbow [2]
Passenger seat back An offshore fog bank
sunlight on and off my face a cotton candy iceberg
as the car turns [3] a new continent [4] (7)
A second-unity sequence has an internal structure along with the external structure of the first-unity. The internal is a unity of multiple, small sets of haiku aspects within the external unity. The larger the number of links the more the aspects are cemented together in a variety of ways. The result is a denseness or thickness as opposed to emptiness or hollowness. This tends to reduce the perceived separation or space between haiku that is normally felt in a first-unity sequence or an ordinary collection of haiku, such as in an anthology. The “San Gregorio” sequence is a second-unity sequence and its major internal links by poems and aspects are listed below:
1 & 2: walking on beach
1 & 12: early morning
3 & 8: sea birds
4 & 5: sea lions, ocean, narrative coupling
4 & 11: ocean debris
6 & 7: binoculars, nudist beach, narrative coupling
6, 7, 8 & 11: cliff/bluff
7, 8 & 11: shifting views and seasons from cliff (north to south)
8 & 9: defecating
9 & 10: women
10, 11 & 12: fires
11 & 12: camping, partying
As can be seen, some aspect in every poem is linked to a similar aspect in at least one other poem. Poems 8 and 11 are linked to five poems and six poems, respectively. There’s a narrative coupling between two sets of haiku. Each coupling here is only two haiku in length (the minimum), but longer lengths are possible. When there are a large number of links, as in this case, then there is a richness of connections to the place in the experience of the writer. Like a mixed sequence of place haiku, dense connections help to create a larger and fuller portrait of a place.
Two Conceptual Frameworks
A conceptual framework is a construct of ideas. Two conceptual frameworks, specialized and general, are presented in this section, and they are intermixed and separable. Three elements of the specialized framework for place-name sequences have been presented: place haiku, place haiku composition, and haiku unity. These elements are organized into a framework in Table 1. The haiku unities form a basic division for all sequences. Within each unity, there are three place composition sequences, thus there are six types of place sequences in the framework. The basic division between unities is the general framework. The specialized framework is nested in the general framework. If there were other kinds of specialized topics other than place-names, then they would also be nested within the basic unities. Any other general topic or theme can use the general framework stripped of its specialized elements.
Table 1. A Conceptual Framework of Six Types of Place-Name Haiku Sequences
__________________________________________________________________
First-unity sequence Second-unity sequence
1 2
Particular place haiku Particular place haiku
and composition and composition
3 4
Mixed place haiku Mixed place haiku
and composition and composition
5 6
General place haiku General place haiku
and composition and composition
__________________________________________________________________
Both frameworks act as a template for beginning and finishing sequences repeatedly. How well a place-name sequence works as a poem in terms of being interesting and compelling at its level of unity, depends upon the included haiku. The place sequences included in this paper can be classified as follows:
Keet Seel (2 poems) 1
San Gregorio Cliff (4) 2
Highway 1 (4) 3
San Gregorio (12) 4
Pfeiffer-Big Sur (4) 6 (8)
The arrows in Table 1 represent the possible migration from first-unity sequences to second-unity sequences. Thus, each first-unity sequence type (1, 3 and 5) can possibly add a sufficient number of new place haiku to become a second-unity sequence type (2, 4 and 6). It’s also possible for a pure place sequence (1 and 5) to become a mixed place, second-unity sequence (4). Any migration is only a potential, not a requirement.
Within both frameworks there are five ways to create a unity sequence, two for a first-unity sequence and three for a second unity sequence (see Table 2). As mentioned in the beginning, the creation of a first-unity sequence can be done in two ways. First, it can begin with haiku created from the moment and/or created desk haiku. The created haiku are put into a writer’s inventory. Some haiku in the inventory can be drawn out as needed to create a first-unity sequence. Second, haiku created from the moment and/or created desk haiku can be almost immediately organized into a first-unity sequence without really residing in a writer’s inventory. See Part A of Table 2 for an outline of the two methods. The first way is probably the dominant way of creating first-unity sequences.
Table 2. Five Ways to Create Haiku Unity Sequences
______________________________________________________
Part A. First-unity Sequence Creation:
1
Moment and/or Desk → Haiku → First
haiku haiku inventory unity
creation creation sequence
2
Moment and/or Desk → First
haiku haiku unity
creation creation sequence
Part B. Second-unity Sequence Creation:
3
Moment and/or Desk → Haiku → Second
haiku haiku inventory unity
creation creation sequence
4
Moment and/or Desk → Second
haiku haiku unity
creation creation sequence
Part C. Migration from First to Second-Unity Sequence Creation:
5
First plus Desk and/or Moment → Second
unity haiku haiku unity
sequence creation creation sequence
______________________________________________________
A second-unity sequence can be created in three ways. The first two ways are the same way as described above for the first-unity sequence (see Part B of Table 2). The third way involves a migration from an already created first-unity to a second-unity sequence. Haiku created from the moment and/or created desk haiku are added as needed to create links between the haiku in a first-unity sequence (see Part C of Table 2). It’s hard to say what is the dominant way of creating a second-unity sequence until it becomes a commonly used and discussed format. The “San Gregorio” sequence was created primarily from the Part B.3 method of Table 2. Some additional desk haiku from recovered memories were derived from the text of the initial sequence.
With these two frameworks, writers and critics are no longer restricted to just the dominant critical response. The specialized framework provides writers and critics with more to think about in terms of creation and evaluation, respectively, in regard to place sequences. Writers are still constrained by the number of haiku they have written on any given place, but now they have some ideas about what they can do with the haiku they have and how they might increase their place haiku. Critics can now look at such issues as the type(s) of place haiku used, the composition of the sequence, and the possible views, external and internal, of the sequence expressed in its haiku unity. The general framework for other kinds of sequences will focus primarily on structure and unity views. These are just some of the critical issues that can now be addressed, in addition to the quality of the haiku in a sequence. (9) Each framework acquires a separate utility to the extent it helps writers and critics, respectively, create sequences and develop critical perspectives.
Desk Haiku
As shown in Table 2, desk haiku can be used as necessary to create a unity sequence. Desk haiku can be created from direct experience, but it may be more like a recently remembered experience or a recovered memory. A desk haiku may also be the product of imagination or fiction. According to Haruo Shirane, “fiction can be very realistic and even more real than life itself.” (10) The desk haiku used in a unity sequence may contain:
· All remembered experiences
· All imagination
· Some mix of remembered experiences and imagination
Desk haiku creation is commonly considered antithetical to proper haiku creation, which follows almost immediately from a moment of direct experience or observation. However, desk haiku creation is pervasive throughout haiku writing, despite being contrary to the dictates of the English language haiku consensus. The frameworks simply recognize and even sanction this kind of haiku creation.
A haiku writer who only wishes to create first-unity sequences may be able to avoid the prospect of using desk haiku, if they are absolutely certain of how their haiku inventory was created. A writer who wishes to create a second-unity sequence has to be willing to possibly create additional haiku as necessary beyond his or her available inventory. This means creating beyond the moment and creating from and for the text of the sequence. This moves sequence creation beyond waiting for a fortuitous gathering of enough written haiku to be perceived as being related. This means taking active control of the creative process and using desk haiku as necessary. Such writers are moving beyond the warning buoys of the consensus.
Summary
Currently, there are essentially two formats for long poem writing in haiku. The first is the traditional haiku sequence, which is called a first-unity sequence. The second is the mostly collaborative renga/renku, including all its variations and different sets of rules. There are now three possible formats. The first-unity sequence is now part of a basic division, which includes what is called a second-unity sequence. The two unities form a kind of continuum with renga/renku. The basic division of unities is also part of two conceptual frameworks, one specialized and one general. The specialized framework with its specialized place elements is for place-name haiku sequences, and the general framework without the specialized place elements is for other kinds of haiku sequences. Both frameworks add to the writing toolkit of haiku writers, and to the interpretative toolkit of readers and critics. Haiku writers now have a larger set of alternatives to choose from for creating interesting and compelling poems in long form. However, given the past neglect in regard to haiku sequences, there is still much more literary work to be done in order to expand the expressive possibilities of haiku sequences in either framework. It’s hard to say what haiku writers will do or not do with these possibilities, given different inclinations and the issue of desk haiku creation. For those stirred enough to create place sequences and/or second-unity sequences, it’s hoped that there will be some appreciative and thoughtful readers and critics available to these writers.
Notes
1. Three haiku handbooks include brief discussions of haiku sequences: Higginson, William J. and Penny Harter. The Haiku Handbook: How to Write, Share and Teach Haiku. McGraw-Hill Book Company: New York. 1985. 233-241; Reichold, Jane. Writing and Enjoying Haiku: A Hands-on Guide. Kodansha International: Tokyo. 2002. 141-142; and Ross, Bruce. How to Haiku: a writer’s guide to haiku and related forms. Tuttle Publishing: Boston, MA. 2002. 32 and 129-132. These sources total sixteen pages.
2. Reichold. 141-142.
3. Mariano, Tony and Bruce England. Shorelines. Small Poetry Press: Concord, California.
4. Reichold, Jane. “Book Reviews.” Lynx: A Journal for Linking Poets, XIII: 3 (1998): 83.
5. Mariano and England. 25-30. The “San Gregorio” sequence contains one tanka. Although used here as a haiku sequence example, it is a hybrid sequence. Many kinds of hybrid sequences are possible, but they will not be discussed in this paper.
6. Ibid. 1-2.
7. Ibid. 13-14.
8. The short “San Gregorio” and the Pfeiffer-Big Sur” sequences are thought to have just enough links to be classified as a second-unity for types 2 and 6, respectively.
9. Zuk, Ed. “book review.” Modern Haiku, 35.3 (autumn 2004). Additional critical issues worth considering are in Zuk’s review of Sunlight Comes and Goes by Francine Porad. He expressed a number of dissatisfactions and questions in regard to her use of haiku sequences.
…I found the book to be unsatisfactory…because it reveals no clear vision of
what a haiku sequence can or should be. The haiku sequence raises a number of
unsolved problems for its poets. Should there be a narrative line or common
imagery? How consistent should the tone be? What symbols or images can
deepen the theme or unify the poem? How does one build a flow between the
separate haiku, and how much variety in imagery and tone will a reader be willing
to accept?…After several readings, I could not find any connection among
several of the haiku in each sequence. As well, two or three haiku would suggest a
narrative line which would dissipate in the next verse, and none of the sequences
left me with a feeling of delight or completeness.
His concerns suggest a poet should be in more control of his or her material and
vision.
10. Shirane, Haruo. “Beyond the Haiku Moment: Basho, Buson and Modern Haiku
Myths.” www.haikupoet.com/definitions/beyond_the_haiku_moment.html. 4.
Originally published in Modern Haiku, 31:1 (winter-spring): 48-63.
Bruce England lives in Santa Clara, California and works as a part-time Librarian in the San Jose Public Library, San Jose, California. He has a BA in sociology and a MLS in library information science from San Jose State University. He began seriously writing haiku in 1981. He published a chapbook, Shorelines, in 1998 with Tony Mariano. He has an unpublished manuscript, I will not be sad in this world.