Until he was five years old, things went smoothly at his home. From then on, things became rocky because his parents realized that they were not happy with each other anymore; their relationship was more like a brother-sister bond rather than a romantic one. Another couple encountered the same problem as his parents and found each other in this confluence of circumstances and similarities. A sort of partner swap occurred, allowing both former couples to move on with their lives. As a result of the new situation, he gained two stepbrothers, each two years younger than him. At such a young age, adapting to this change was a completely new experience, and it took him some time to adjust. That period marked the beginning of his tremendously difficult life moving forward.
During his primary school years, he was bullied a lot; "Professor" and "Coconut" were two of the many derogatory names thrown at him. He was known as the textbook example of a future lawyer. School was fun in principle, but because he was often misunderstood and teachers responded in ways that escalated situations rather than calming them down, the school became a place that constantly seemed to be against him. He regularly ran laps around the school when he could no longer cope with situations due to misunderstandings and reactions that he could not grasp, with teachers often in hot pursuit but unable to catch him.
As a result, he would end up somewhere exhausted and crying, and when teachers finally caught up with him, he was sent home (usually in the middle of the day) with the message: "Rest & come back tomorrow." Despite everything, his grades remained consistently good, with sevens and eights for almost every subject. He went along with what was expected of him as best as he could, which demanded a lot from him. The bottom line: his primary school experience was a dreadful one. That it could get much worse would be demonstrated by his next life phase, his adolescence.
By the time he was 13, he had already moved around six times within a few years. He was tired of moving. Every year, he lived in a different place, usually commuting between Doetinchem and Emmen. As life progressed, he increasingly struggled to compensate for the problems he encountered, and the first signs of this became visible in his plummeting grades. His second-year average dropped to 4/10, and in the third year, it never rose above 3/10. This decline was due to his ever-deteriorating home situation, which included escalating domestic abuse and growing poverty within the household. The blame should be directed at his mother's ex-partner, Rob Boelen. The situation became dangerous as Robert grew older and stronger, becoming more likely to confront Rob physically to protect his mother.
At the age of 15, his home situation had become untenable. His mother made the radical yet responsible decision to send her son away to ensure his safety, with the help of a police officer picking him up at their doorstep. The police were no strangers to him, as they had already visited his home once before due to the domestic abuse. The police officers informed him that he was to go with them and said they would take him to his grandparents on his father's side for a while.
He got in the back of the car to go with the police officer because his mother had raised him to believe that the police were his friends. However, somewhere along the way, he noticed they were taking a wrong turn. After all, he knew the route to his grandparents' house by heart. After repeatedly pointing out that they were going in the wrong direction, he was told that he would not be taken to his grandparents after all.
He was not given any clarity about where the journey was headed. This lack of information resulted in a complete escalation, as he, being a person with autism, did not receive the clarity he needed. Eventually, he was taken to a Salida crisis shelter in Haaksbergen.
On paper, a crisis shelter; in practice, a juvenile detention center. His crime? Having autism and coming from a household where domestic abuse was a daily occurrence. At Salida, they did not shy away from criminal practices such as collective punishments, as well as numerous cases of abuse. The healthcare inspectorate should have intervened there long ago. It was a dangerous environment, both psychologically and physically. The staff was not adequately trained and not paid on time. At Salida, collective, almost barbaric punishments were imposed. It was governed by a very strict regime, making the place entirely unsuitable for a young adult with autism. Not least because there was no way to escape his overstimulation. He witnessed things there that are absolutely unacceptable in any situation.
A month after his "arrival" at Salida, he was transferred to a new location: Finca in Borculo, a care farm with a more "open" setting and greater freedom. He even helped build up the care farm to get away from Salida, which could be considered child labor. Compared to Salida, the care farm was a relief for him. He found it much more spacious, allowing him to escape the crowds if needed, and he had his own room to lock instead of depending on the regime. There was an abundance of green scenery, including farm animals, enabling him to regain some freedom. It was a subpar version of assisted living, but it was still far better than the "prison" of Salida.
After living a few months on the farm, he was transferred to a sort of cottage on the farm site with another resident. Both had their own bedrooms; his on the ground floor and the other resident's upstairs. They shared the bathroom, living room, and kitchen. Together, they had to get by on a meager weekly budget of 30 euros for their food, excluding dinner, resulting in a one-sided diet. They were held fully responsible for the purchases, which always resulted in him having to do the shopping by bicycle at the supermarket more than 2 km away.
Sometimes he was forced to steal something from the local supermarket. He did something he is absolutely not proud of, but because the social workers did not want to hear any complaints, he saw no other option. 30 euros was really too little to eat sufficiently, and he couldn't even afford fruit. Despite all of this, it would be an acceptable place for a young couple, for example, but it was not suitable for two boys with significantly different habits, characteristics, and severe levels of autism. This situation resulted in frequent clashes.
During this period, he attended a ZMOK-type high school called "Klein Borculo", which could be considered rather infamous. There, too, he witnessed incidents, such as daily restraints following aggressive outbursts by others, that were not conducive to the development of growing adolescents or young adults. He did not belong there but was simply placed there because it was the nearest school.
Despite the unsafe environment, he graduated with honors, as the school's highest education tier was VMBO-T only. Feeling this level was not high enough, he entered the VAVO to study Geography and English. He started two months late, putting him at a significant disadvantage. This setback was more substantial than it seemed, as at the VAVO, students actually cover a two-year curriculum in one year. Despite his good grades overall, he unfortunately failed the Geography exam by 0.05 points. However, he did receive his English certificate.
Besides an unsafe home, another reason for his placement at Salida and later Finca was that he had been on the waiting list for a place within LKH for several years already. In the same month that he graduated from the VAVO, a place at LKH became available, and he was the first candidate. As a result, he moved shortly after obtaining his English certificate to LKH, located in Oosterbeek.
For one and a half years, it was a relatively pleasant period for him. The residential group consisted of seven clients. Each had a daily schedule with training and necessary guidance. The effect was more about stabilization than treatment. Interestingly, the group was made up of people who all arrived and left within roughly the same two-month time span, which created a group bond without any pre-existing invisible rules among those who had been living there for a while.
At LKH, a stay in the group usually lasts for a maximum of two years. During this period, he experienced tremendous growth, to everyone's surprise, and was therefore deemed ready to live independently, albeit with occasional supervision. Typically, people then transition into something called "protected living" as a stepping stone toward truly independent living. He had a preference for a location close by, as he was dependent on his bike.
The protected place he ended up in was called Woonzorgnet. At first, he seemed to like it there. The intake and everything seemed fine. Initially, there appeared to be a lot of attention, but it soon became clear that all communication was intended as one-way traffic interrogation.
The growing unhelpful nature of Woonzorgnet caused his requests for help to increase due to the care and guidance being unilaterally decreased. This resulted in a number of mishaps, which escalated from mishaps to (serious) incidents. For example, thanks to a personal counselor, he was held in financial administration for two years longer than planned. This personal counselor knew that he and his mother were dependent on his transport to the court. He and his mother were ready half an hour in advance of the drive because they knew how important it was to be on time. This personal counselor came unprepared and still had to refuel even though there was no gas station on the route. Due to the personal counselor's carelessness, they all arrived 20 minutes late, which earned him contempt from the court.
In the following years, all the personal counselors assigned to him did not suit him at all. At one point, he felt threatened when these people came to his door. His PTSD makes him feel cornered very quickly when his exit is blocked, which prevents him from always being in control of himself. That was known by the personal counselors yet blatantly ignored, which led to very unpleasant confrontations mere inches away from a physical fight.
Another example to illustrate an incident is a confrontation in the public kitchen room. His personal counselor (who was already not on good terms) barged into the room. She started talking to him, but he did not want to engage in the confrontation. So as he passed her, patting her on the shoulder, he walked on. Nine months later, he decided to ask for all the weekly reports written about him, only to read in the weekly report that he was accused of assaulting his personal counselor. A report in which there was clearly an adversarial process, given that it was never his intention to assault his personal counselor but only her interpretation of the facts. What truly happened was that he walked in the opposite direction as the personal counselor, and when the opposite forces of kinetic energy met, the shoulder pat was felt harder than it should have been. However, no outcry by her was given at that moment, only a sneaky accusation of assault in the weekly report.
Understandably, the relationships have only deteriorated since then. Eventually, the municipality became involved in the situation. He encountered a lot of resistance because, with much pain and effort, 2 hours of "guidance" per week were added, and after half a year of fighting on a weekly contact basis with the municipality, it felt like all-out trench warfare.
As the situation got further out of hand, many official bodies were called in. This is how the CCE (Center for Consultation and Expertise) became involved in his case. It's an organization that presents itself as an official body but has no actual decision-making power. A literal quote on the website reads: "It is not without obligation to participate in our process, but the conclusions of our investigation are not binding." Something that, in principle, contradicts itself.
After this, he received independent client support, first called Zorgbelang Gelderland and then Stichting MEE. The latter tried to help him but was eventually sidelined by the municipality. In the conversation between the client supporter and the municipality, several promises were made by the latter, which were later not recalled. There is no documentation of this crucial conversation, so none of these promises can be proven.
The consequence of this was that he could no longer receive care in kind because there was no place within the ZIN scheme for people with complex care needs such as his. In a desperate attempt, he tried to apply for PGB on top of the care in kind (ZIN). That way, he could continue to live where he was and buy his own care providers, precisely to avoid being assigned to failing care providers by Woonzorgnet. However, the PGB was rejected, and as a result of this rejection, his indication for care in kind (ZIN) was stopped as well, leading Woonzorgnet to terminate the care agreement and essentially kick him out, making him homeless.
After all, they wouldn't want to offer him care without an indication, and there was no room for negotiation or discussion. Because the neighborhood teams affiliated with the municipality of Arnhem promised him all kinds of things and later suddenly "couldn't remember anything about it," he started filming all his contact with social services and agencies.
At one of the last scheduled meetings at the municipality (it was "do or die" as far as his eviction was concerned), this filming was the reason not to even start the conversation with him. Instead, during that particular appointment, several employees of the neighborhood teams surrounded him threateningly. These employees refused any form of consultation or compromise, and instead of helping him, they called the police, twisting facts as they went, despite pleas from him not to make him homeless.
All attempts were in vain at various agencies. He was ultimately kicked out of his apartment, becoming homeless due to the mismanagement of what is called care in kind (ZIN) in the Netherlands. For as long as necessary, he bought a 28-year-old camper to have a roof over his head. He eventually ended up with his father, but needless to say, this couldn't be a long-term solution. In the end, he left for China for some time upon the invitation of a girl he had met a year prior. Following his heart, he met his current girlfriend, who accepted him for who he was and the situation he was in. Eventually, back in the Netherlands in January 2020, his father arranged for him to get his own house from the social housing foundation, in which he has lived since March 2020.
Moving into the new house was a costly and time-consuming endeavor. Though the basics were covered, there was still a lot to do. The first 6 months were all about making the house livable. At the same time, the number of social workers swelled from 1 volunteer to 5 social workers thanks to his intense efforts to go on any platform with his help request and the story he has been through recently. His primary goal is to get PGB-WLZ. Unfortunately, government laws prohibited him from getting this or not getting into effect until January 1st, 2021, so he had to settle for the much more dangerous option, PGB-WMO.
It took the entire effort of the social worker's team more than 4 months to get him his PGB-WMO. Though great and all, it was so time-consuming that other time-sensitive tasks had to be neglected and were now starting to bite him in the butt. He lost the court case against the CAK incorrection invoice scandal, costing him more than €3,000. He lost the court case against the state for having transferred him from the old long-term care act (AWBZ) to the short-term care act (WMO) instead of the new long-term care act (WLZ) on the simple grounds that there were no laws protecting him against this. He lost the appeal to the tax office for Extra Gezinshulp filing of 2016 for a claim of 2500 euros because the social team did not file the appeal but remission (which was legally not even possible). He ordered the social team for the appeal because his body was deteriorating, making him bedridden, sleeping at least 12 hours per day, and barely able to sustain the bare minimum of survival.
Simultaneously in that time frame during Easter. He got into a very heavy argument with his mother about what the hell was going on, and after 3 hours of continuous bombardment of accusations directed at his address, he erupted when his mother accused him that the homelessness was his own fault. This was the biggest eruption he ever had in his life and ended up in a blind rage, only to be found back on the train to his home in a badly bruised and bloodied state. Apparently, during his blind rage, he left a trail of total destruction down two streets, though he has no memory of it.
At home, he treated his wounds and called the crisis line of the general practitioner. Immediate assistance from a psychiatrist was denied since (weirdly enough) they do not work night shifts, unlike general practitioners. That same week, he had a conversation with the crisis team at Pro Persona Arnhem. To be precise with lector Bauke Koekkoek, who heard his story and forwarded him to the psychotherapist for a diagnostic procedure of Complex PTSD, To nobody's surprise, Robert has a pretty severe case of complex PTSD, which was diagnosed by psychotherapist Sarah Hecht. What is unique about his complex PTSD is that he "anticipates violence."
Because of all the violent and traumatizing events, he developed a severe form of PTSD. Up to this day, he does not dare get rid of his camper and his cognitive functions are severely impeded, as he presumably could be. The failing system has deprived him of an enormous amount of quality of life, happiness, and opportunities, something that cannot be reversed.
That is why he fights for better, appropriate care and guidance for people with autism. No one should experience such abuses as he experienced. The current healthcare system is sick and destroying people, especially those with autism. He wants to be the one to change that so that people like him have every opportunity and help to be successful and happy in life despite having autism.