Boundaries

Let's talk about boundries. Let's lay down our own personal boundaries in clear writing. I know these are things that should be firmly established in the beginning. But here we are, 8 years in, and both of us have crossed each other's boundries more than once. Let's fix that.

Chapter 9

Original from January 2022
updated for v6.0002 11/14/22 1804

9) Boundaries - Defined; What I’m Comfortable With + How I Want to be Treated

A Short List of Rules:

No fighting in front of the kids.

Quiet voices when we were talking to each other period.

No screaming ever.

Sometimes when I talk to you quietly You call me a snake or that I'm being sneaky or something.

The point is that screaming triggers me.

Please do not scream at me please.

No threats to call the cops.

No video recording of me during our fights.

I pay all the house bills; thus, I make and enforce the house rules. Good order and discipline military style.

I did learn some good habits while in the military and some leadership ability,

all at the cost of PTSD and my sanity, so I might as well use some of those skills.

Sometimes I tell you, well that's what I learned and how to do it in the military.

You say well this is not the military. I understand that.

There's still no good reason not to let me try to instill good order and discipline in our home.

Some of the house rules will include more clear chores for the children.

Such as doing daily chores, doing laundry, shower time limits.

These rules aren't negotiable.

They must be followed. Few examples; we all have to do daily service to others and service to self.

Mia needs to be downstairs when it's time for dinner.

They need to make their bed every morning.

Have school clothes ready the day before.

The girls have to be ready on time when it's time to go somewhere.

Phone time limits.

Children must be disciplined and taught to follow rules.

The girls need to see their mom follow and obey and respect and submit to the man of the house.

It is not about ego or control or any of that BS.

If not me in control, then who is in control, should the children be in control?

Leadership traits: Judgment, Decisiveness

Christian husbands are the head of the house.

The girls often treat me exactly like you as their mother does.

You as their mom need to set the example of following me.

To put it simply, there are a lot of things around the house that I simply get to structure and decide how they are.

For example, I decide where the shoes go and where the coats go, and where the dirty laundry goes, etc.

If I tell the children to do something, they have to do it.

I want order in my home and I will have it no other way.

♥➯ Boundaries show where one thing ends and another begins. Boundaries in a relationship are kind of like this; they help each person figure out where one person ends and the other begins.

In short, boundaries help you define what you are comfortable with and how you would like to be treated by others.

Leadership traits: Judgment, Initiative, dependability, decisiveness, unselfishness, loyalty

Next - Chapter 10: What I Want

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