Moving Forward

Thinking about moving forward with my life and career. I am going to start focusing all my energy on my career as a mental health counselor. Making more money would be good. Using my masters degree would also be good. Moving forward with another major ambition of mine, to get a PhD and pinoneer new treatments that posititily impact the lives of people around me. Also, this service to others I have a passion for is perhaps my true calling, God's purpose for me...

Chapter 8

November 2022 update. I am finally really ready to start working in my career field.

I am going to start focusing all my energy on my career as a mental health counselor.

Original from January 2022
updated for v6.0002 11/14/22 1804

8) Moving Forward - The future, Yours, Mine and Theirs

I feel like I'm dying. I am dying.

I am scared about my health problems.

Who knows exactly why and when.

Point is that we both have a limited amount of time left.

I need to start living now.

If we cannot come to an agreement about trust and respect and who's in control then I really need to separate from you Sheila and move forward with my life.

I need to move on.

I need to move up.

I need to move into the new.

I am confident in myself moving forward.

I want to move far away from this messy past.

Sheila, you found me at my worst in 2015. I feel like a completely different person now, having grown through the traumas and experiences of all my life, from my childhood, all the way through school and college; sociology in my undergraduate years (2002-2007) at SUNY Albany, then a military career in the marine core (2007-2015) and now training as a mental health counselor (2016-2020).

I'm now a homeowner, a business owner, and a veteran and I'm about to start my own professional career.

I truly am in a really good place right now in my life.

I have become much better, wiser, and more mature.

I know what I want out of life. I need my life to be constant and consistent and stable.

I need to introduce a level of structure and then keep it that way.

That is why the housework and cooperation with the girls is so important to me.

Because I really do have a bunch of other personal struggles.

Despite that, I still do believe that I have the leadership traits Necessary to successfully lead.

But I can only lead the willing.

I often struggle with basic activities of daily living. Not all the time, but often enough.

I struggle getting dressed sometimes. I struggle leaving the house.

I know what I need.

I need a peaceful joyful trusting honest relationship.

I need a woman that meets my needs, that understands who I am, and lets me be me.

Someone who will take care of me and protect me like I will take care of and protect them.

I need someone that will take care of and protect my trust.

Someone who will honor and respect whatever authority I deserve.

I have so much love to give.

I desperately want to give service to someone who actually likes me.

Children that will obey me while in my house.

Kids that actually like learning from me and listening to me.

Kids that will play musical instruments with me,

and do art and painting with me,

and go on hikes or walks with the dog,

and build a snowman in the yard,

and play video games with me.

I try so hard with the kids. I want them to do fun things with them, artistic,

creative, wholesome activities with me (like painting, walking outside, music etc…).

Instead, Sheila has allowed them to be consumed with their phones and social media.

I am encouraging the kids to learn to play an instrument because it was something that I was forced to try when I was a kid.

It was difficult at first, steep learning curve, required practice and self-discipline and hard work.

But that ultimately paid off in the long run because it is one of the most rewarding and satisfying pastimes in my life.

If not for parental influence, I would not have it because it was hard at first and I would have given up.

Anyways, the point is that I believe it to be important for so many reasons, and I want to pass it on to my kids.

But this has to be rooted in the foundation of trust and respect. And I do not find that here.

Next - Chapter 9: Boundaries

Page updated

Google Sites

Report abuse