Respect Loss

Finally, perhaps the most important of all, repect. Everyone needs to feel respected in order to be at full health. I do not currently feel respected as I believe I deserve. I fear if nothing changes, I will live out the rest of my life never having had truly felt respected by my wife and step children. Marital satisfaction and a sense of “we-ness” are contingent upon the respect that spouses show toward one another.

Chapter 6

Original from January 2022
updated for v6.0002 11/14/22 1804

6) Respect Loss - Respect In Marriage Is Important

I am a kind and compassionate person.

I draw energy from the people near me.

Sheila, you refuse to praise me or give me confidence, even when I directly ask for it.

No wonder lately my confidence is gone.

Married people are supposed to protect each other, period, no matter what.

I trusted you to protect me, I feel like You violated me by exploiting my weaknesses and vulnerabilities.

And then it seems like you use something I've told you in private and confidence against me almost every day, every time you are angry.

It is so clear what and how you feel about me.

My love language is words of affirmation. I need and want constant love and affection, and admiration and sometimes encouragement.

I so desperately want to give all of that love and affection back.

But You really do the opposite.

You call me immature and weak because I need constant reassurance sometimes.

No wonder my confidence is gone. Six years of betrayal of my trust I feel.

How could this possibly get better from here?

There's no way to resolve many of these issues.

We simply are not compatible.

“I'm not a bad guy.”

I say that to you all the time, and 1,000s of times I say to myself in my head.

This letter seeks to explain the reasons why I say to you almost every time I look at you.

I am tired of saying; “I'm not a bad guy” or I say “I'm sorry”.

♥➯ Respect in marriage is one of the most important determinators of marital health and resilience.

The notion of respect cuts across both scientific and spiritual conceptions of marital intimacy.

Marital satisfaction and a sense of “we-ness” are contingent upon the respect that spouses show toward one another.

Next - Chapter 7: How I Feel

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