Chapter 16

16.2)

3 Other Notes: from 2/10/2022

Note 1

She keeps telling me that I have made a decision to live in misery and that instead of trying to find a solution to my problem I'm just embracing my issues. It really is beyond disgusting, her words. She says I am so shameful and that I'm a hypocrite and then I am a man child and that this is atrocious and disgusting and that she works really hard and doesn't deserve this daily toxicity . She says she wakes up peacefully and then I'm the one that ruins her day. And she says she is really sick of me blaming her for my lack of direction.

16.3) 

Note 2 -  “GO LICK YOUR DAD'S BALLS”. 

As much as my heart and soul wants to stay in this marriage and relationship. I know that Sheila and I need to separate. I won't be treated like this anymore!!! I want a divorce.. I want to be in control of my own life. She said she hates me this morning. I was trying to offer my help to go to the restaurant depot for her and she told me to “go lick my dad's balls”. A rather disgusting reference to me going and helping my dad move into an apartment as he just got back from Africa with his pregnant wife. 

She hates my dad, She hates my sister.  Anytime the subject of my family is brought up, she instantly disrespects me. She is so repulsed by me and my family that whenever she's mad at me about anything, she insults me in this kind of disgusting fashion. She knows my weaknesses (which I revealed to her in confidence), and she exploits them. Sheila, who is supposed to help me as my wife, builds my confidence, instead she disparages me, makes fun of me, trashes my family…

16.4)

 Note 3

 OK so the situation was that yesterday I had a specific plan for our Friday night and Saturday morning… Sheila screwed up my plans by inviting a guest to stay with the kids..  So anyways, the night before we sat down to eat. I wanted, as part of my religious beliefs, for us to pray together before we eat. Which is standard practice for Sheila and I. For some reason that didn't go well, quickly spiraling into chaos for the rest of the night, putting me into a kind of depression. 

Spiraling Further into Disorder. I have nightmares about every single night, I wake up screaming in the morning. And then I awake and share my discomfort and distraught with Sheila. Only leading her to begin yelling at me about not handling myself and not being stable 1st thing in the morning. And then I asked her to go through with the plan that we had agreed upon the night before to which she replied no.. And then that led to even more discord and contention.         -   43 days ago 

16.5)

Just last night, saturday, 3/19/2022, I ran the 10k Holyoke road race. So at the end of the day, Sheila cooks a nice dinner.  Mia blows off dinner AGAIN. Sheila just lets her get away with it AGAIN. I get irritated, sheila flips out, goes to eat dinner in the bathroom, and then after apologizing and crumbling like i always do, she flips out and goes and eats in her car……   

16.6) Updates

March 20, 2022 update: Divorce is imminent. It is incredibly sad and disappointing to lose you, our marriage, our home, and our family. I am sad to lose the opportunity to parent and raise the girls. Mia and Amelia; I love dearly and I have invested my very heart and soul into parenting them as their stepdad. I need to forward this letter to someone….

 Just last night, I desperately needed you. I was sad, lonely, scared and depressed. I’m scared about my health problems. I know that I am unwell. But I was afraid to bother you and of being too “Needy” in your eyes… but you think I am a “manchild and a loser”...(your words)

Original from January 2022
updated for v6.0002  11/14/22  1804

16.7)

V2.0000 9/10/2022

9/10/2022 v        2012

Update. Sheila is an absolute asshole. Vet legal services is getting me help with a divorice

The kids completely hate me and disrespect me. I DO NOT WANT TO LIVE with them anymore….

This is want happened tonight

I cam ehome from work, Amelia was eating ice cream before dinner and hadn’t yet cleaned her room. Huge fight insued. The kid agreed that they dont ewant to livewith me anymore.  Sheila also hates me. I want a divorce

She says that i am said that she is too old.  While she is talkin gto allysa

9/10/ 2223 HELP 9/102022 

HELP. 9/10/2022  

I WANT A DIVORCE

Sheila is abusing me

She is badmouthing

Me right in front of me

To Allysaa

I want a DIVORCE FROM SHEILA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I want a divorce

I need a divorce

I am afraid of her

I need help

She is sitting right in front of me right now

I just want her to leave me alone

Ok so she is a narcissist

And i can prove it

I can prove it

Let me write a 25 page essay on why she is a nasty narcissist

I hate her so much

2033

She has runied my life

I have no kids with her

She doesn’t love me at love

She “disrespects me” completely

I hate her so much

Next - Chapter 17: Conclusion