Dear Young Peace Scholar,

Sometimes it is easy to love strangers and sometimes it is hard. It depends on whether you can put yourself in their shoes. It is a lot easier to put yourself in the shoes of someone who is similar to you. It is a lot harder for people who seem very different. Here is a way of practising putting yourself in a stranger’s shoes. You may be able to think of other ways.

Is there a park near you where there are park benches? Often these benches are dedicated to someone who has died. Have you ever read the plaque that is attached to them, or looked at the people sitting on them?

There are many reasons why people might be sitting on a park bench. They might be walking back from town with heavy bags and taking a break. They might be unwell or in pain or recovering from an operation. They might be sitting down to watch children play.

They might be enjoying the fresh air or the sunshine or the plants and trees. They might be sad or thoughtful or anxious or lonely. They might be meditating or praying. They might be eating an ice cream.

It is fun to watch for clues and to use your imagination.

They might also be remembering the person whose name is on the plaque. The person who has died. If the bench is new, they might be feeling sad or lonely. They might be missing the person terribly. Sitting on the bench might make them feel a bit more connected to the person they have lost.

If the bench is old, they might be remembering happy times long ago. What do you think they are seeing through those far-off eyes? Maybe a first kiss? A child’s first steps? A walk in the park that is as clear today as it was forty years ago?

Whatever the reason the person is sitting on the park bench, they will probably appreciate a smile. We all like to be seen. You can say so much with your eyes, even if it takes a fraction of a second. A smile reminds us that we are connected. Even strangers. We share a common humanity. We all grieve and feel joy. We feel hunger and pain.

We may be a different colour. We may be a different age or gender. We may talk differently or dress differently, but these things are not important really. We all want to be loved and noticed. We are not so very different.

When someone smiles at you, it can feel like the sun breaking through the clouds. Suddenly everything is not so bad. You know you are not on your own. You are part of the human family.

People will tell you not to talk to strangers. From your earliest age, you will associate the word ‘stranger’ with the word ‘danger’. Having a fear of strangers keeps you safe. It also keeps you cut off from anyone you don’t know, or who is not like you.

Of course, you should never go anywhere with a stranger, or share private information or pictures, or allow someone to touch you. You should never arrange to meet someone who you only know through the Internet.

Not everyone wants to hurt you though. Most people are kind. Strangers have risked their lives, or even been killed, trying to protect someone they didn’t know.

A smile takes less than a second. It does not need to be more than that. A moment later and you are gone. Maybe you will never see that person again. If you do, you probably won’t remember. That smile that takes a second, however, can last a life-time for someone in ways that you may never know.

When you smile at someone, you connect with them. It is a moment of eternity captured in a tiny slither of time.

A moment of connection reminds you that strangers are not so very different to you. It is good to keep reminding yourself of that. It is much easier to care about people who are just like you.

Connecting with strangers helps you to lift yourself out of your narrow group of friends and community. It connects you with the human race. That is the gift that the stranger brings.

Love

The POP Team