Alternative Facts

Nothing is definitive, I decide what’s right.

The world is flat, I’m sure about that, and the sun goes out at night.

Evidence is flexible, and theories can’t be true.

Maths is just a matter of opinion, How d’ya feel ‘bout fourty-two?

The statements of our leaders need not reflect reality.

They make up stuff that’s vague enough to get them off scot-free.

Aliens are all around, and Elves and Pixies too.

I’ve never seen one in the green, but that don’t mean it isn’t true.

Dinosaurs were never here, Climate change is naught to fear,

Louis Armstrong’s on the moon, We’ll find the Yeti soon...

History has been hammered, Physics fallen flat,

Geometry has jarred its knee, and Logic’s lost its hat.

Hamsters built the pyramids, The world was made last Friday,

Seventeen is bigger than a million, My dog wrote “My Way”.

These are things you can’t attack: Alternative Facts.

Someone said they heard a Thing, that someone else once said,

A rumour ‘bout an anecdote of a fantasy in their head.

I thought it was rather fit, so I believed it too,

And though I’ve got no scrap of proof I’ll pass it on to you.

Science is for losers, All those rigid rules.

Cross-reference and sitting on the fence, O inconclusive fools!

Information’s relative to what you want to say;

Add up the score and just ignore whatever gets in your way.

Three Ws have changed the game, Facts and Lies are now the same.

The tide of progress has been turned, The Rules have just been burned.

History has been hammered, Physics fallen flat,

Geometry has jarred its knee, and Logic’s lost its hat.

Hamsters built the pyramids, The world was made last Friday,

Seventeen is bigger than a million, My dog wrote “My Way”.

These are things you can’t attack: Alternative Facts.

Graham Dale