no-brainer

No-brainer

by Bob on April 2, 2007

People are funny. Sometimes funny in a comedic way, other times in a strange way. Sometimes both characteristics converge and it is really hilarious or tragic.

A phrase had come into common parlance: that some decision or procedure or problem solution was a "no-brainer".

The New Dictionary of Cultural Literacy in 2002 gave this definition for "no-brainer":

"Something that is absurdly simple or easy and requires little thought."

This all seems like a veritable no-brainer.

The trouble is in life every time someone tells me something is a no-brainer, they are basically not right. Larely because the phrase is over-used. So people have told me some very complicated things were a no-brainer and they chuckled about it, even smugly.

That's called pretension and haughtiness. Especially when they are not in the shoes of the other person.

There are very few real-life no-brainers I have found, except the simplest of the simplest things. Everything else is overloaded with complications. And the people who told me it was a no-brainer, knew that but conveniently forgot to think about the complications.

Maybe that's called blissful ignorance.

When one is trying to think of the full implications of something, and how it works, or more usually how it will work, complications must be taken into consideration. Icebergs and cruise ships.

Opening a door is a no-brainer except when the door knob falls off. Choosing between two options in a plan is a no-brainer only if all the hidden implications are thought out beforehand.

So people tend to over-use the term "no-brainer" to their the extent of their own shallowness.

Well, language is a virus. Laurie Anderson sang about it in her song and video from 1986. William S. Burroughs first wrote about it. "Language is a virus from outer space". It mutates. It can't be controlled, no matter how many proper scholarly academies print a forty volume definitive dictionary.

We also run into "The Civilization of Illiteracy" by Mihai Nadin in 1997. Some interesting relevant thoughts are found there.

Maybe we should have a listen to the rock band R.E.M. and their song "The One I Love". Or yet back to Laurie Anderson's song, "Language is a Virus". That's got to be a no-brainer.

* * *

Language Is a Virus

Song by Laurie Anderson

Paradise

Is exactly like

Where you are right now

Only much much better.

I saw this guy on the train

And he seemed to gave gotten stuck

In one of those abstract trances.

And he was going: Ugh...Ugh...Ugh...

And Fred said: I think he's in some kind of pain. I think it's a pain cry.

And I said: Pain cry?

Then language is a virus.

Language!

It's a virus!

Language!

It's a virus!

Well I was talking to a friend

And I was saying: I wanted you.

And I was looking for you.

But I couldn't find you.

I couldn't find you.

And he said: Hey!

Are you talking to me?

Or are you just practicing

For one of those performances of yours?

Huh?

Language!

It's a virus!

Language!

It's a virus!

He said: I had to write that letter to your mother.

And I had to tell the judge that it was you.

And I had to sell the car and go to Florida. Because that's just my way of saying

(It's a charm.)

That I love you.

And I (It's a job.)

Had to call you at the crack of dawn (Why?)

And list the times that I've been wrong.

Cause that's just my way of saying

That I'm sorry. (It's a job.)

Language!

It's a virus!

Language!

It's a virus!

Paradise

Is exactly like

Where you are right now

Only much much (It's a shipwreck,)

Better. (It's a job.)

You know?

I don't believe there's such a thing as TV.

I mean - They just keep showing you

The same pictures over and over.

And when they talk they just make sounds

That more or less synch up

With their lips.

That's what I think!

Language!

It's a virus!

Language!

It's a virus!

Language!

It's a virus!

Well I dreamed there was an island

That rose up from the sea.

And everybody on the island

Was somebody from TV.

And there was a beautiful view

But nobody could see.

Cause everybody on the island

Was saying: Look at me! Look at me! Look at me! Look at me!

Because they all lived on an island

That rose up from the sea.

And everybody on the island

Was somebody from TV.

And there was a beautiful view

But nobody could see.

Cause everybody on the island

Was saying: Look at me! Look at me! Look at me! Look at me! Look at me!

Why?

Paradise is exactly like

Where you are right now

Only much much better.