Saying the Words
Let me call him Shlomo. We sometimes are neighbors in shul. Shlomo is honest and hardworking. He learns Torah, keeps its mitzvos, and raises his children with emunah. So if someone were to tell him that he was not yotzei his davening today, he would certainly be upset. If he were told that he actually has to start over and daven from the beginning, he would be annoyed as well. And if he were told that since he became Bar Mitzvah, he has hardly been yotzei a single tefillah, he would be more than upset. He would be shocked, and profoundly hurt.
Why am I saying all this? Because Shlomo doesn’t say the words of the davening. I sit right next to him, so I know. It’s not that I can’t hear him. I do hear him, loud and clear. But all I hear is a hum, rising and falling in intensity, modulated somewhat by the movement of his lips. No words.
A Jewish prayer is not just meditation, or soul-searching. It is communication, a yiddishe neshama reaching out to its Creator. We communicate with others through speech; a Jewish prayer must be spoken (MB 101(2), 62(2,3)). Kavannah (concentration) is also extremely important in tefillah, but sometimes we are yotzei even without it (MB 6(4), 88, 101(1), 51(7)). Thoughtless and absent-minded speech, though perhaps rude, is still speech. But with all the kavanah in the world, if a prayer was not spoken, the person has not prayed. His tefillos are blocked, not by a mechitza of iron, but by his own silence.
Tefillah must be said slowly, each word enunciated with the care of a person counting money (MB 51(8)). However, even if the words are not said clearly, he is still yotzei (MB 62), as long as they were said.
Probably I am not the one to be saying this. My own davening could stand considerable improvement in many ways. And may Hashem forgive me; I don’t mean to criticize his people. But I am very much afraid that Shlomo is not alone. When I daven in other places, in other shuls, in other cities, I hear others like him. Personal observation, along with what others have told me, has convinced me that, unfortunately, this scenario is not uncommon at all.
Truth be told, I can see this tendency in myself. When I find myself in a hurry to catch up, I also begin to mumble. The more the hurry, the less the syllables. It doesn’t have to go far before what I’m saying has nothing to do with the holy words of the Anshei Knesses haGedolah (see Kaf haChaim 5(2)). And I tend to lower my voice, to conceal from myself what is happening to my tefillah. But if I can’t say the words that fast out loud, I can’t whisper them either!
Perhaps I have it all wrong. But perhaps there is someone out there to whom my words apply. Or perhaps he is like me, and they apply some of the time. If so, may הי“ת grant that he hear this painful truth. May he turn an honest ear to his Service of the Heart.
Hashem will hear and understand Shlomo anyway. He knows our true desires, and Shlomo means all the things that he is praying for. But this is not what Shlomo had in mind. He came to pray, as an erliche yid, and he would never be satisfied with less!
These are critical times for Klal Yisroel. Our tefillos are desperately needed, as we call out to our Father in Heaven.