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After an exhausting, wife-like decision making process, your FYMA Cup 2015 dates, lodging, and course play have been finalized. Actually, I think our wives make decisions easier than this group does. We probably need to bring back the pink lady or at least ensure Mudro is in full kilt for the first T-box. To put in perspective, I just called our house rep and after a warm welcome, said..."Let me guess…you are calling to change dates again".
Travel:
Arrive LAS Monday: 16 March 2015
Drive to house
Depart LAS Saturday: 21 March 2015
Lodging: As far as lodging is concerned...your time to complain, whine, or bitch to me is over. Your house is 1091 Calais Dr. The house (click here for pics) is tight with a hot tub for many of you who will be pulling up couch space or an air bed to work out the evening kinks. So, shut your traps and have another pour if you can't fall asleep. Hell, between Mudro and Chop snoring and Kinger watching Hot Tub Time Machine for the 50th time all night, don’t really think where you lay your ass really matters anyway. Muddy will post the pictures if you still have concerns, but think it will work nicely.
Players: With Kinger we have nine. Oh and welcome back Kinger....glad to see you pulled a kitchen pass, but won't hold my breath until get flight info. Speaking of Kinger coming back, all hail the return of Big Bear...that is right Clarkie is back and in full force. Between Clarkie and Kinger returning, I personally am a bit scared concerning evening antics but relieved to know I won't finish last. Again, we have 9...that is No Buenos! All T-times have been made for 12 and I think we need at least 10. These courses will not let us go out in groups of 3. So, get the invites out and let me know which of our knuckle head friends will be joining us. I did invite Brian Bailey, but like every year, doubt he will come.
Courses:
17 MARCH - Falcon Ridge: First T-time is 11:10. The least difficult of our four tracks, but sure to still suck up golf balls as it is desert play...look out Chaser. G could post the lead out of the gate on this one as short and straight wins. Rather than club throws, recommend the Falcon...simply extend a club out each arm and "fly" around making a similar noise like Rivs spewed after getting "checked" with a French horn by Kinger.
18 MARCH - Conestoga Golf Club: First T-time is 10:10. The challenge rises with 18 holes of pristine desert golf highlighted by primo Vislay profanities shouted for four hours. This one is sure to test. G's short game will kill him on this one dropping him behind a charging Chaser. PK and his mighty "Boom Stick" will be closely behind and if Chop is still holding it together, he will be thinking of his first Cup glory when the sun sets on Mesquite FYMA.
19 MARCH - Palmer at the Oasis: First T-time is 11:00. With a Palmer in hand (and hopefully a splash of something nice), we hit Arnie's course. Probably a tie with Conestoga, this host of the "Big Break" golf course will demand superb shot shaping...Rivs don’t worry, your shots move left and right faster than the Blue Angels so this course will play right into your strength, brother. Along with your awesome handicap I put you near first place at day's end. With the way you putted last time we played, the noble cup is all but a lock if you don’t blow up on 18. Remember it is moving day and like any good moving day, I anticipate Clarkie's back to blow out. With Cup glory gone, I also expect we can find him and Kinger making sand castles in the traps of 18.
20 MARCH - Wolf Creek: First T-time is 10:00. Our most expensive (shut up...it cost what it cost and this is my damn vacation too and we are playing this course!), but absolutely one of the nicest courses we have played during any Cup, will shake up the leader board! Yes it is expensive, but under $200 is a deal as reviews put it around a $300 to$ 400 course located anywhere else but Mesquite. Read the reviews. Hell, it's name has a Wolf in it...how cool is that Muddy? This is where beauty and pristine golf conditions meet the venerable FYMA Cup. A course built for golf snobs, it is almost a shame that it will be ruined by empty cans of miller and Clarkie's stomach contents, but hell...we deserve it. Get ready boys and pay attention as you watch Vis make a run...Chop will be in the hunt, but one ball off the rocks is all it takes! PK will hit through a fairway and toe a chipping wedge sending him spiraling, Mudro will be in Rivs cage with talk of a trip to Tilted Kilt after the round- sending not only Rivs out, but Mudro also as he is having too much fun spooling up Rivs, Kinger will not only be out of balls, but clubs and the pro shop is too far of a drive, G will not be able to reach the greens in regulation, already covered Clarkie, and Chaser will be to worried about a repeat performance...the Cup will be mine!
Assignments:
Assignments:
Transpo Director is Chop. Send flight arrivals and departures his way. The plan is for everyone to gather at a predetermined, TD approved spot in Vegas. My goal is to travel as a team. Chop may go to the house and then back. We may rent a vehicle or we may have a couple different trips depending on arrivals. Chop will coordinate and if a rental van is needed we will make that call...not going through another FYMA decision process. All are notified of the following: MAKE YOUR DEPARTURE FLIGHTS FOR A REASONABLE, HUNGOVER TIME. Any departures requiring a 7 AM wake up or earlier put you responsible for drive to Vegas. I plan on making G and I around noon. I know some will need to get out earlier and that is fine, just no 7 am flight. We are returning on Saturday for this very reason...so if you want to be that guy, good on ya, but up to you to arrange transpo.
Beverage Dudes...going with Kinger and Rivs this year. I like the keg idea again- research a store with pick up close to house. Take a list and I vote we all pitch in for a bottle or two of something we wouldn’t buy ourselves. Chop is driving- list to him for COSTCO.
COSTCO Agents...hate to give another responsibility, but with it comes his own bed. Seeing how Chop is driving, he can make our food and beverage run. PK can assist, but he may be flying; you two can have at it for a bed.
Scoring/handicap official...that honor, as always, goes to G. He will propose handicaps on the first evening and all will be allowed two beers worth of debate. Afterwards, all handicaps will be set to ensure my victory.
Director of Logo and Apparel...Muddy and Chaser will provide us with the annual shirt and any gear decided upon. All have already rogered up for coozies. Other than that, just buy what you think we all want and come up with something nice for prizes.
Food coordinator...Seeing how he will want to ensure what goes down tastes as good as it comes up, Clarkie will be coordinating meals. No need to go big or have teams unless that is what he wants. One night out is always good...I propose the all you can eat buffet at a Mesquite casino followed by drinks and nightlife- tight! I also think simple and easy is better, hell our simple and easy is still first rate. Night of filets on the grill and then some fish tacos and we are in.
Skills Challenge and evening games coordinator...PK will review house photos for appropriate table and ensure chips/cards make their way. House has putting green and thinking a long drive and closest to the pin each day with prizes from what Mudro/Chaser bring. We can set the holes up night before and I will ask courses for stakes.
It's on like Donkey Kong! All should be working on club throws and watching every rerun of Eastbound and Down as well as diving for course balls at your local tracks as these courses will demand our very best after each atrocious shot! We also are adding one change to our format....busting chops and increased wise cracks, supportive play is no longer encouraged even when I am lost in my little ‘hate myself’ bubble! A wise man once said, if you plan it, they will come...and so it is.
Happy Turkey Day!
TD
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