Romans 12:18
If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.
2 Corinthians 13:11
Agree with one another, live in peace; and the God of love and peace will be with you.
1 Timothy 2:8
I want the men in every place to pray, lifting up holy hands without anger or argument (quarreling, controversy).
Hebrews 12:14a
Pursue peace with all men...
1 Peter 3:10-11 (HCSB)
For the one who wants to love life
and to see good days
must keep his tongue from evil
and his lips from speaking deceit,
and he must turn away from evil
and do what is good.
He must seek peace and pursue it.
Richard Baxter “Cases And Directions Against Censoriousness And Unwarrantable Judging”
http://www.puritansermons.com/baxter/baxter26.htm
http://www.ccel.org/ccel/edwards
In 1727, Jonathan Edwards was ordained minister at Northampton and assistant to his maternal grandfather, Solomon Stoddard. He was a student minister, not a visiting pastor, his rule being thirteen hours of study a day. In the same year, he married Sarah Pierpont, then age seventeen, daughter of James Pierpont (1659–1714), a founder of Yale, originally called the Collegiate School.
Solomon Stoddard died on February 11th, 1729, leaving to his grandson the difficult task of the sole ministerial charge of one of the largest and wealthiest congregations in the colony. Throughout his time in Northampton his preaching brought remarkable religious revivals. Jonathan Edwards was a key figure in what has come to be called the First Great Awakening of the 1730s and 1740s.
Edwards, however, would not continue his grandfather's practice of open communion. Stoddard believed that communion was a "converting ordinance." As Edwards became more convinced that this was harmful, his public disagreement with the idea, and his congregation, led to his dismissal in 1750.
"A Farewell Sermon"
http://www.sermonindex.net/modules/articles/index.php?view=article&aid=3433
A contentious people will be a miserable people. Contention, heat of spirit, evil speaking, and things of like nature, are directly contrary to the spirit of Christianity, and do, in a peculiar manner, tend to drive away God’s Spirit from a people, and to render all means of grace ineffectual, as well as to destroy a people’s outward comfort and welfare. Let me earnestly exhort you to watch over your spirits and avoid all bitterness towards others. However wrong you may think others have been, maintain with great diligence and watchfulness a Christian meekness and gentleness of spirit; and labour, in this respect, to excel those who are of a contrary part. Let nothing be done through strife or conceit. Indulge no revengeful spirit in any case; but watch and pray against it. Never think you behave yourselves as becomes Christians, except when you sincerely, sensibly, and fervently love all men, of whatever opinion, whether friendly or unkind, just or injurious, to you and your friends, or to the cause and kingdom of Christ.
St. Augustine Genesi Ad Litteram
In matters that are obscure and far beyond our vision, even in such as we may find treated in Holy Scripture, different Interpretations are sometimes possible without prejudice to the faith we have received. In such a case, we should not rush in headlong and so firmly take our stand on one side that, if further progress in the search of truth justly undermines this position, we too fall with it. That would be to battle not for the teaching of Holy Scripture but for our own, wishing its teaching to conform to ours, whereas we ought to wish ours to conform to that of Sacred Scripture.
John Calvin’s Sermons on First Timothy, Sermon 2 on 1 Timothy 2:1-2
Where is that unity among us which God has hallowed and which we should consider sacrosanct? Today we talk only of devouring one another. We fight like cats and dogs. Far from remembering that we are members of our Lord Jesus Christ, we act as if kindness had ceased to exist among us. Where do we find the honesty and sense of justice which are expected of us? Where is the compassion and sympathy we should show in helping one another? We see none of it, for we seem to have conspired to destroy the entire order which God has willed for us. Instead of caring for our brothers, endeavouring to do them good and ensuring their safety and well-being, we only want to bring them down and contrive their ruin. Can we not see that by doing this we profane God’s name, and that though we boast of being Christians we are nothing of the kind?
William Gurnall The Christian in Complete Armour
In our divided times, wherein there is so much difference in judgment, had there been less wrangling among ourselves, and more wrestling with God for his teaching Spirit, we had been in a fairer way to find the door of truth, which so many are yet groping for. The way of controversies, and contentious disputes raise this dust, and blow it most into their eyes that gallop fastest in it, so that they miss the truth, which humble souls find upon their knees at the throne of grace.
Christ sets up the light of his gospel to walk and work by, not to fight and wrangle.
George Whitefield’s “speaking the truth in love” letter to John Wesley in response to his Arminianism and Perfectionism, 1739
Dear Brother Wesley.
What do you mean, by disputing in all your letters? May God give you to know yourself, and then you will not plead for absolute perfection, or call the doctrine of election “a doctrine of devils.” My dear brother, take heed; see that you are in Christ, a new creature. Beware of a false peace; strive to enter in at the strait gate, and give all diligence to make your calling and election sure. Remember you are but a babe in Christ, if so much. Be humble, talk little, think and pray much. Let God teach you, and he will lead you into all truth. I love you heartily. I pray you may be kept from error, both in principle and practice. If you must dispute, stay till you are master of your subject; otherwise you will hurt the cause you would defend. Study to adorn the gospel of our Lord in all things; and forget not to pray for your affectionate friend, George Whitefield.
John Newton
Memoirs of the Life of the Late Rev. William Grimshaw, 1799
They who avow the doctrines distinguished by the name of Calvinistic, ought, if consistent with their own principles, to be most gentle and forbearing of all men, in meekness instructing them that oppose. With us, it is a fundamental maxim, that a man can receive nothing but what is given him from heaven (John 3:27). If, therefore, it has pleased God to give us the knowledge of some truths, which are hidden from others, who have the same outward means of information; it is a just reason for thankfulness to Him, but will not justify our being angry with them; for we are no better or wiser than they in ourselves, and might have opposed the truths which we now prize, with the same eagerness and obstinacy, if His grace had not made us to differ. If the man, mentioned in John 9, who was born blind, on whom our Lord graciously bestowed the blessing of sight, had taken a cudgel and beat all the blind men he met, because they would not see, his conduct would have greatly resembled that of an angry Calvinist.
On Controversy
Of all people who engage in controversy, we, who are called Calvinists, are most expressly bound by our own principles to the exercise of gentleness and moderation.
If, indeed, they who differ from us have a power of changing themselves, if they can open their own eyes, and soften their own hearts, then we might with less inconsistency be offended at their obstinacy: but if we believe the very contrary to this, our part is, not to strive, but in meekness to instruct those who oppose.
“If peradventure God will give them repentance to the acknowledgment of the truth.” (2 Timothy 2:25)
If you write with a desire of being an instrument of correcting mistakes, you will of course be cautious of laying stumbling blocks in the way of the blind or of using any expressions that may exasperate their passions, confirm them in their principles, and thereby make their conviction, humanly speaking, more impracticable.
I am afraid there are Calvinists, who, while they account it a proof of their humility that they are willing in words to debase the creature, and to give all the glory of salvation to the Lord, yet know not what manner of spirit they are of. Whatever it be that makes us trust in ourselves that we are comparatively wise or good, so as to treat those with contempt who do not subscribe to our doctrines, or follow our party, is a proof and fruit of a self-righteous spirit. Self-righteousness can feed upon doctrines, as well as upon good works; and a man may have the heart of a Pharisee, while his head is stored with orthodox notions of the unworthiness of the creature and the riches of free grace.
William B. Sprague, author of Experiences with Revival in an 1823 letter to Thomas Raffles in Liverpool
Nothing I am convinced is gained on the one hand by any attempt at compromise, or on the other by harsh and criminating language; and one principal ground of the confidence which I feel that the cause of truth is advancing among us is that our ministers are coming more and more to preach the truth as it is in Jesus; that they are bringing to the conflict less metaphysical and speculative knowledge, and more of that which comes directly from the word of God.
C.H. Spurgeon “Behold, He Prayeth”
https://www.spurgeon.org/resource-library/sermons/behold-he-prayeth/#flipbook/
For us to hate those who are in error; Talk of them with contempt; Wish them ill or do them wrong: Is not according to the Spirit of Christ.
You cannot cast out Satan by Satan, nor correct error by violence, not overcome hate with hate. The conquering weapon of the Christian is love.
If I go through the world hating my fellow-men because they differ from me, and determining to force my own doctrines upon others with an iron hand, I cannot lift that hand in prayer.
Thomas à Kempis
I offer up unto Thee my prayers and intercessions, for those especially who have in any matter hurt, grieved, or found fault with me, or who have done me any damage or displeasure. For all those also whom, at any time, I may have vexed, troubled, burdened, and scandalized, by words or deeds, knowingly or in ignorance; that Thou wouldst grant us all equally pardon for our sins, and for our offences against each other.
Take away from our hearts, O Lord, all suspiciousness, indignation, wrath, and contention, and whatsoever may hurt charity, and lessen brotherly love.
Have mercy, O Lord, have mercy on those that crave Thy mercy, give grace unto them that stand in need thereof, and make us such as that we may be worthy to enjoy Thy grace, and go forward to life eternal.
Johann Arndt
Oh, Thou gracious and gentle and condescending God, Thou God of peace, Father of mercy, God of all comfort; see, I lament before Thee the evil of my heart; I acknowledge that I am too much disposed to anger, jealousy, and revenge, to ambition and pride, which often give rise to discord and bitter feelings between me and others. Too often have I thus offended and grieved both Thee,
O long-suffering Father, and my fellow-men. Oh forgive me this sin, and suffer me to partake of the blessing which Thou hast promised to the peacemakers, who shall be called the children of God.
Bestow on me, O Lord, a genial spirit and unwearied forbearance; a mild, loving, patient heart; kindly looks, pleasant, cordial speech and manners in the intercourse of daily life; that I may give offence to none, but as much as in me lies live in charity with all men.
Henry Alford
O God, perfect us in love, that we may conquer all selfishness and hatred of others; fill our hearts with Thy joy, and shed abroad in them Thy peace which passeth understanding; that so those murmurings and disputings to which we are too prone may be overcome. Make us longsuffering and gentle, and thus subdue our hastiness and angry tempers, and grant that we may bring forth the blessed fruits of the Spirit, to Thy praise and glory, through Jesus Christ our Lord.
A.W. Tozer
Lord, when to speak and when to keep silent. I often mistake the two. Give me wisdom.