Luxor Resort & Casino
Luxor Hotel & Casino Las Vegas. What you need to know!
Gambling!
They boast over 1,600 gambling machines. Sadly most everything that screamed “You are in a pyramid!” Is now gone. No more talking camels, long gone are the boat rides and super theming. Its still 120,000 Square Feet so it has that going for it. Too bad the MGM honchos turned it mostly into another bland blend in casino.
Well over 100 Table & Poker Games. All your basics; Blackjack, 3 Card Poker, Baccarat, Craps, Let it Ride, Roulette etc. They also have Mini-Baccarat, Let-it-Ride, Pai Gow Poker and more. It’s the strip, if their neighbor has it, they have it!
What’s to eat?
What Luxor lacks in fine dining it makes up for in cheap grab & go eats. One of the best food courts on the strip. You have to try the Chicken Tenders place! They cook them up when you order, so it takes about 5-10 minutes to actually get your food. But it’s worth it! It’s just a shame that their secret sauce is kinda shitty. Just get the BBQ or honey mustard and you are golden.
To simplify your selection the following have been rated for value.
As Vegas eateries change almost hourly you might want to double check if these places are still in operation. This blog is very lazy with updates...
Cheap (reasonably priced for what you get). ‘Bout what you’d expect (if you don’t understand this you should stick to McDonalds). Holy Shit! (Unless you are used to your bill looking like your phone number stay away)
In no particular.
Backstage Deli –Deli Cheap
More The Buffet – Buffet Cheap
Pyramid Cafe - Coffee Shop Cheap
T & T Mexican Restaurant - Mexican ‘Bout what you’d expect
TENDER Steak & Seafood - Steak House ‘Bout what you’d expect
McDonald's – McDonalds! Cheap
Nathan's Famous – Hot Dogs Cheap
StarBucks Coffee Cheap
LA Subs – Sub Shop Cheap
Blizz Frozen Yogurt Cheap
Hotel
4,427 rooms at Luxor.
The Room Basics
The standard rooms at Luxor are average in size, 450 square feet or there abouts. For the basic rooms they are probably going to stick you in the pyramid, which seems like it would be awesome but don’t get too excited. There is a good reason hotel rooms are shaped like squares and not like triangles. Since every room has a slanted ceiling, you really lose a lot of space and the rooms feel cramped. It’s nice that you can get in and out to the casino pretty fast in these rooms, and the inclinators (that’s what they call their elevators) are fun. But if you can score an upgrade, ask for a room in one of the towers. The views seem to be pretty shitty, but this far down the strip what do you want to see? In the tower your room will be larger, the bathrooms nicer and it is not much more of a jaunt to the casino. So always ask for the tower room at check in and see if they give it to you for free!
What you need to know.
Good views are hard to come by at the Luxor. Some people might get a decent view looking down the strip. But most people will get skunked. We stayed there 3 times, although it’s been a few years, and we have never gotten a view worth a shit. If you are pool people you will hate Luxor. The poor is clean, the water is wet but that’s about all you are going to get. Nothing to look at, lots of concrete and many better choices in Vegas. Beware the dreaded resort fee! Luxor is a cheap option for a decent hotel. But adding that $20 to my bill every day would not make me happy!
Also, Luxor is, as far as I know, the only place stupid enough to let Time Share Hawkers on their casino floor. These people are everywhere in here, and that alone is reason enough for me to stay elsewhere. They jump you in the check in lines with their siren call of free show tickets, or cash money. They pounce on you when you enter in from the people movers from Excalibur. But what sickens me most, when I am gambling they are right there on the casino floor.
Funny story.
I was playing a King of Cash game in Luxor. I get in the bonus round and end up with 500 quarters. I’m pretty happy turning my $0.75 investment into $125.00. So like a proud peacock I’m kicking back and letting the credit meter run up. Normally I hate when people do this, especially on penny machines. Do you have any idea how annoying it is to hear that beep beep beep of every single, fucking penny being registered on your $15.00 win! Just hit the spin button already! Any way, back on track. So now I’m “that” guy that lets his meter run up.
A little Asian woman in a black blazer walks over to me and congratulates me on my win. I’m thinking it’s a host or something, and they want to keep me on property to get their fat $125.00 back! She asks me if I want a pair of show tickets. I say sure! I’d be a fool to refuse. So she tells me to follow her a few feet away to a timeshare counter and I snap. I can’t believe I fell for it. I sized her up for weight and distance, thinking I bet I could pick her up and throw her pretty fare. But I figured that might be frowned upon so I just walked away and bitched about it to a real host.
In closing:
Luxor Hotel & Casino Las Vegas is a fun place, although its location so far down the strip makes it feel dead most of the time. What’s left of the theming is still fun and worth a look even if you are not staying here. With low rent comes lower end clientele so don’t expect to see the rich and famous in here. Free monorail to connect you to Mandalay Bay or Excalibur means easy access to tour around if you want. You can also walk to and from MB via the Mandalay Place Mall and there are a series of people movers to get you over to Excalibur. These are all life savers in those hot summer months.
What else you need to know?
They do have a Spa (Nuture) & Wedding Chapel (you enter at the food court, how classy!) The casino is still fun, and they have a ton of attractions in here. Titanic & Bodies the exhibition as well as the awesome Ultra Lounge Cathouse, and the trendy LAX night club.
Major attractions.
As Vegas shows change almost hourly you might want to double check if these are still in operation. This blog is very lazy with updates...
Cirque’s Criss Angel beLIEve is here. It sucks. I wanted it to be so good, but it sucked. People were lining up for refunds after he botched a few tricks. Cirque should take their name off this train wreck, it really has nothing to do with them. They must have been giving tickets out for free somewhere because we saw people walking out through the show. I wouldn’t do that if I paid for it. I have never seen such disrespect in a Vegas show room before. But I did think about walking out myself. This show is a mess.
Fantasy which is an adult review is worth your time. It’s much nicer than a strip club, but it’s still a titty show so don’t expect much outside of that. And if you want to see naked woman, move along. You won’t find that here.
Menopause the Musical is where your wife will be going when you are watching the hooter dancing above. I haven’t seen this so I can’t comment but it seems popular.
Carrot Top. If you only know Carrot Top from his silly prop comedy in the 90’s and such classic movies, ahem, as Chairman of the Board please keep it that way. He is still funny, but with all the body building he is doing now, watching the nutty red-head kid with a rubber chicken is now watching a pumped up Ginger with a giant head flex while putting on a big backpack. It’s just creepy. But don’t let us stop you from seeing it; others have thought it was pretty funny. We just creep out pretty easily.
What did a hundo get us?
We played through five $20.00 bills on various machines. If we bet $1.00 a spin, we give em 20 spins and cash out. $2.00 per spin is 10 spins. If you can’t wrap your brain around this math, please do not gamble. I am sure this test of the slots is insanely scientific. But your actual millage may vary.
1st machine: Top Dollar. $0.75 a spin. Cashed out with $16.00. Major hit $12.50 on a shitty Top Dollar of 50 quarters.
2nd machine: King of Cash. $0.75 Max Bet. Cashed out with $5.50 Major hit none. This is a bonus or nothing type game. Mixed bars a couple times.
3rd machine: Top Dollar. $2.00 Max Bet. Cashed out with $5.00 Major hit mixed bars once No Top Dollar bonus.
4th machine: Fire Diamonds. $1.00 a spin. Cashed out with $124.40 Major hit bonus game and a full screen of Aces.
5th machine Ghostbusters. $1.00 a spin. Cashed out $7.40 after one of the shittiest bonus rounds you can play.
Total results. Turning $100.00 into $158.30 in 45 minutes seemed pretty easy. Assuming my math is correct, everyone that plays on a Diamond Dragon slot machine is bound to end up filthy rich! We got a lot of play time due to some lengthy bonus rounds.
Luxor Hotel & Casino
· Contact Information
www.luxor.com
General Information – (702)-262-4000
Toll Free – (800)-288-1000
FAX – (702)-262-4404
Page Views
All images on this site are original content and taken by us, you may not use any of our images without our written approval. The Grid.