1- My Lost Vegas

I popped my Vegas Cherry back in the summer of 1999. My Dad was doing a trade show in town and asked if I, his eldest, would join him.

All I knew of Las Vegas at the time, was what I saw in reruns of "Vegas Vacation". Chevy Chase made it look fun, so I naturally said yes.

Holy Shit... Vegas was the greatest place on earth! The sights, the sounds, the themes, the food, the games, the chicks, it was literally everything I loved in life. Nothing could have prepared me for the blast of Awesomeness that hit me as soon as I stepped off the Airport shuttle, and saw Treasure Island for the 1st time.

I didn't know any better back then, my Dad said he always took the shuttle, so we took the shuttle. I think it was $10.00 each even though a cab would have been $20. That stupid thing stopped at every fucking casino on the strip, in a mere 90 mins we were at our hotel. But it allowed me to see the strip so what did I care.

Egypt? Rome? Paris? What doesn't this place have?!

From fun themed little grind joints like the Boardwalk (you could gamble IN Coney Island), to the full on in your face themes at MGM (Hollywood complete with an amusement park) Excalibur (A Huge animatronic dragon show and costumed characters walking around), Luxor (talking camels? Yes please!) and just every sort of fun you could imagine. And plenty of fun you never thought could exist!

Vegas today, is not My Vegas... Not to go all "Get off my Lawn" or anything, but it sometimes makes me sad to see what she has become. 

MGM Corporate has completely ruined Luxor. How stupid are you to try and re-theme a fucking pyramid? Where is Dorthy at MGM? No more lions there either?  Today's Vegas is all mostly the same. Money. Large pretty resorts that all look like an office building on steroids.

But there is still enough 90's Vegas left, if you know where to look. 

Excalibur is still good, outside of some new carpet, its still a time capsule of what it was like to walk thru in the 90's. NY NY across the street is the same. They dicked with the casino some, took out the trees and rivers (You could actually gamble in Central Park at one time) but outside of the facade chop, its still mostly good. Same with the Venetian, Bellagio, Mandalay Bay (although about half of their slots are now removed) & for the most part Caesars Palace , Ballys, Harrahs, Paris, and Flamingo. All pretty much look like they did, to a visitor, back then.

Yes, some of the cooler kitch things have been removed, and replaced with nothing of note. The animatronic show in the Forum mall was removed, and replaced with nothing but air. And while the way cool Parisian mall still exists, linking Paris to Ballys. It has pretty much been left for dead as of 2021. Even what was perhaps the best themed buffet in all of Vegas, Le Village Buffet, now sits abandoned. 

The properties that have had their hearts pulled out include Luxor (mentioned). MGM (mentioned and the saddest of all). Monte Carlo went from European Elegance to Any Mall USA. And while I do like the Eatly thing in front of what is now known as Park MGM. You are still fighting through a crowed food court to get into the casino. And who thought that was a good idea?

Even the one joint that kicked off the building craze in Vegas in the 90's, Mirage, has lost its theme. Sure the volcano is still there, more fantastic than ever to be fair. But whats Tropical about black? That's pretty much all Mirage is now. Black. Black walls, black ceilings, is dark their their new theme? I will give them credit for keeping the atrium, but Clark Griswold can no longer gamble in a tiki hut and all of their parrots has since been gassed (those fuckers live forever).

And the one place nearest to my heart, Treasure Island, is just a shell of itself. Just try to find a pirate there! That's where I stayed my 1st trip, that's where I discovered Top Dollar and my life long affection for slot machines began. I was winning, a quarter at a time, and at one point I asked my Dad "Why do people even have jobs in Vegas, cant they just sit at a slot machine all day?"

Pretty much every other place has been blown up, or gutted since my first trip over two decades ago.

Aladdin (now Planet Ho)

Barbary Coast (Now Cromwell)

Boardwalk (Now City Center)

Imperial Palace (Now Linq)

Stardust (Now Resorts World)

Riviera (now dirt)

Sahara (It's now named for a German Sedan, SLS, and even that will change soon)

The Stratosphere (just Strat now)

If you want to see the last truly remaining time capsules on the Vegas Strip, just go to the Venetian & Circus Circus. Hell, I think the cornbread in the buffet at CC is the same bun since 1995!

Venetian and Circus Circus have as much in common as Abraham Lincoln and Charlie Sheen. Sure, they are both white males and love cocaine. But that's about it. Everyone seems to love the Venetian, and it should be on your must do list when you visit. Don't forget to soak in some Circus Circus. Yes, its a shithole, but it was the same shithole back in 1999 so I love them for it.

I know I will never be able to ride the bumper cars at MGM again. The Nile river boat rides at Luxor are now just sad concrete filled pathways. And Caesar himself doesn't bother to greet me in his mall. But I can still see enough of the old girl when I visit, to bring back so many found memories from my youth. 

In a city that prides itself by never looking back, there are still some remnants of a bygone era.

Sometimes I wonder if I love Vegas for Vegas. Or, if I still love her because she reminds me of something that truly changed my life once. I honestly think if I came to Vegas for the first time right now, with so many joints being interchangeable (Sometime I forget I'm in Cosmo after walking out of Aria), if I would be just as big of a fan of the town.

I don't club, I rarely shop, Fine Dining is not my thing and I don't feel like getting dressed up to hit the tables. But I see enough of her left, that I still say "Oh yeah, that's my girl!"

So the next time you are in town, if you care about the Family Friendly Mega Themed era that once was, take a look past the slot machines. Luxor has a few bits worth seeing still. The food court at New York New York hasn't changed much at all. There is still some charm left in the old gal.

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