Practice

What do I DO to get started?

A list of practical actions that make up the practice (tools) of this program. The list below has the same elements as The Practice. They are just re-ordered a bit under the concepts of Taking Refuge.

Practices that cultivate a connection to and trust in Buddhist Teachings

The Path

  • We started to look for ways to learn more about this path

  • We started meditating regularly, alternating between Mindfulness and Concentrations Meditations

  • We Deepened our understanding by listening to recorded talks and meditations from Buddhist Sources

Growth

  • Continue to practice meditation

  • Learn more about Buddhism

  • Go to day long or weekend workshops or retreats

  • Listen to podcasts to help deepen your understanding of Buddhist principles, meditation, mindfulness, and any other aspects of the Dharma (your developing recovery practice).

  • Start talking: call or text friends about insights you've developed during your practice. We know some of us almost only text, just as a few of us only speak on the phone.

  • Outreach: as you grow more comfortable, reach out to those who are struggling with a kind text or call. Send them a metta (a few kind thoughts of loving kindness).

Practices that cultivate a connection to and trust in The Community

Meetings

  1. Face-to-face meetings are available in-person or through video conferencing. Find a Meeting: https://recoverydharma.org/meetings

  2. We started by just showing up and gradually increasing our level of engagement in meetings

  3. We started by attending meetings. Some of us just listened and when we were comfortable, introduce our selves. We stayed after the meeting to ask questions and exchange contact information

  4. We began to explore Individual practices - like reading the book and meditating. This gave us something to share at meetings and during phone contacts.

  5. We started texting people between meetings, just to say hello and connect

  6. Back at meetings, we began to share how the practices or reading applied to our own path of recovery.

  7. We started to volunteer to read readings

  8. We started to volunteer to keep time

  9. We started to show up early and stay late to help set up, volunteer to read, clean up or support others

  10. Between meetings we reached out to facilitators and hosts to talk about increasing our level of service

Wise Friends

  • We stayed after meetings to exchange contact information with others

  • Outreach Texting and Call Practice

  • Attend meetings and make outreach calls/texts to cultivate Dharma friends.

  • Talk with friends about your progress, obstacles, and insights with the readings and meditation practices

  • Ask friends how they're doing, about their practice.

  • Text or speak with others about how you're doing, how you're feeling -- about anything on your mind.

Practices that cultivate a connection to and a trust in our own capacity to recover

Meditation

  • We started to meditate during Recovery Dharma Meetings

  • We started to use resources to meditate individually

    • We alternated two types of meditation practice:

      • Mindfulness (breath, body, sound, thoughts, feeling tone)

      • Concentration / Heart (Compassion, Kindness, Appreciative Joy, Equanimity, Forgiveness)

Renunciation

One thing we have in common is that we have tried to stop behaviors that are intoxicating, harmful and repetitive.

The range of life-domains where this pattern plays out is vast. In many cases, our behaviors manifest as craving and indulgence. But many of us have experienced life threatening harm from restriction as well.

Here is a partial list of both behaviors and issues where we have found healing through this practice of letting go:

  • Relationships: Sex, Love, Approval, Violence, Abuse, Racism, Cults, Codependency, Dependency, Worry, Manipulation, Boundary Crossing, Control, Isolation,

  • Processes: Gambling, Technology, Eating, Exercise, Work, Spending, Debt, Clutter, Time, Underearning,

  • Mind: Volatile Emotion, Self Harm, Avoidance, Dishonesty, Crisis, Perfectionism, Fixation

  • Substances: Alcohol, Drugs, Tobacco, Sugar, Caffeine

In all cases, we have found that the Buddhist Path of recognizing and letting go of harmful behaviors to be helpful and healing. Some of us are able to Just Stop. But others of us need additional support. Here is one example of a model that some of us have used:

  1. Recognize the Suffering (First Noble Truth): Grounded in compassion, kindness and forgiveness, we made a list or began to meditate on the SUFFERING that has been caused by our intoxicating, harmful, and repetitive behaviors. Some of us were able to dive right in to this process. But, for some of us, the light was too bright to look at this alone. So we spent time, first, cultivating connections with community and with self-compassion. (Introduction)

  2. Recognize the Causes (Second Noble Truth): We made a list of all of the intoxicating, harmful and repetitive BEHAVIORS that we have used to avoid pain or cling to pleasure.. As needed, we repeated the other practices of cultivating compassion and dharma friendships.

  3. Let Go (Third Noble Truth): Sometimes letting go happened immediately. Other times, we needed to make a plan first.

    • Choosing: Which behavior to address first? (e.g. easiest or hardest? / causing most harm? etc.)

    • Re-framing the question: with help of dharma friends (sought out other ways to shift our behaviors: (e.g. not a perfect meal plan but starting with a single change)

    • Harm reduction practices: Celebrated "any positive change." (e.g. extending the time of delay to use from 1 minute to 5)

  4. The Path - We engage in PRACTICES that supported our letting go. (The rest of the practices on this page , the Fourth Noble Truths, and the Eightfold Path)

Most of us have found this path to be non-linear. Indeed, even when we made an effort to be go step by step, we found that each practice led to insights in all the other factors. This is good news for many of us,

Inquiry

  • Once you have a system of support - having developed a daily practice using the concepts in the book and by establishing regular contact with other members of your sangha - inquire as to how the teachings of the Four Noble Truths and the Eightfold Path apply to your addiction and your process of recovery

Inquire

  • Choose a topic or question, contemplate it through re-reading text, listening to dharma talks, and asking others about their experience with the topic or question.

  • Write about it.

  • Share your writing or insights from the practice with your new Dharma friends developed through meetings and outreach calls.

  • Over time, we find "spiritual friends", companions along our path: equals who share a safe and nurturing "we space". Healing takes place through these relationships.

Dharma Friends Inquiry Meeting Practice

  • Arrange to meet regularly (every week or two) for 30-60 minutes

Possible format for a Dharma Friends meeting

  • Open with a Meditation

  • Ring a bell and listen as it fades (10 seconds)

  • Sit silently for 1 – 3 minutes

  • One paragraph reading followed by silent sit (1 – 3 minutes)

Discuss

  • Discuss progress, obstacles and surprises with the practices

  • Share writing or discuss insights from writing

  • Talk about how your recovery has changed over the course of this practice

Close with a Meditation: Dedication of Merit


Inquiry and Investigation

Growth

Additional

These items are not in the reading, but we have found them to be helpful practices.

Intention

For many of us, bringing in practices around Compassion, Kindness, Forgiveness, Appreciation and Generosity has been an essential part of the practice to find recovery and healing. In addition to engaging in the meditation practices outlined in the book, we also deepen our understanding my reading and listening to other teachings and cultivating an awareness of our intentions while engaging with others.

Ethical Action

An essential part of our path is engaging in practice of ethical action, especially in our relationships with each other. It is integrated with our meetings, our service work and our connection with each other between meetings.

Trauma Informed

We utilize many sources to learn more and to engage in actions that are trauma informed. This includes honoring our strengths and choices, and addressing predation with clarity and compassion for all.

Contact

RD Friends: rdfriendsact@gmail.com