Wise Friends and Mentors

Kalyāṇa-mittatā: - Wise and Admirable Friends

The Buddhist concept of "admirable friendship" within Buddhist community life, applicable to both monastic and householder relationships.

In Recovery Dharma, members have formed different types of relationships to meet different needs. Most are organized around Recovery Dharma's Inquiry Practice to deepen our understanding and investigate how the principles connect with our personal recovery. There are also other, less formal friends in the program where the concepts and practices also abide.

Wise Friends

A small group of 2-3 peers who meet regularly to support each other in their inquiry practice and other aspects of the Recovery Dharma Path. Usually trade time during their meeting to listen to each other and to receive support.

Sample Format:

  • Open - Greetings, reading, or brief sit together

  • Trade time

    • Calculate the number of people and time available.

    • Each person shares and receives support from other member/s.

    • Members may be working on the same or different inquiry questions.

  • Close - Appreciations, confirm plans for next time, Dedication of merit

Resources:

Mentors

A small group of 2 people. The Mentor is further along on the path of Recover Dharma and offers information, guidance, and support to the mentee. the Mentee meets regularly with the mentor to receive support for their work with the inquiries and other aspects of Recovery Dharma Practice such as service, being wise friends to others, and meditation practice.

Sample Format;

  • Open - Greetings, reading, or brief sit together

  • Support:- Mentor supports mentee as they share their work with the inquiry

  • Close: Appreciations, confirm plans for next time, Dedication of merit

Resources:

Inquiry Circles

Inquiry Circles: Small group of about 6 - 10 peers in the program who meet regularly and usually trade time during their meeting to listen to each other and to receive support specifically on the inquiry questions. Some groups simply use the inquiry questions as the discussion topic. Others trade time so that each person receives 5 - 10 minutes of support and listening for their inquiry practice.

Sample Format 1

  • Open - Greetings, reading, or brief sit together

  • Trade time

    • Calculate the number of people and time available.

    • Each person shares and receives support from other member/s.

    • Members may be working on the same or different inquiry questions.

  • Close: Appreciations, confirm plans for next time, Dedication of merit

Sample Format 2

  • Open - Greetings, reading, or brief sit together

  • Discussion:

    • Chairperson shares the inquiry question/s with the group,

    • Members take turns sharing on the inquiry questions/s

  • Close: Appreciations, confirm plans for next time, Dedication of merit

Resources:

Mentor Circles

A small group of 3 - 6 peers where at least one person is further along the path and facilitates the group. Members set up safeguards to ensure that the group does not develop a teacher-student dynamic.

Sample Format;

  • Open - Greetings, reading, or brief sit together

  • Mentor presents a topic and members discuss

  • Close: Appreciations, confirm plans for next time, Dedication of merit

Resources:

Practice Partners

A small group of 2 - 6 people who check in on their daily practices. Some diads meet on a daily call to respond to the simple inquiries; How's your practice? (in the past 24 hours) and What's your intention for today? Others form an electronic group (WhatsAapp, email burst etc.) to answer the same questions. Or to simply check-in that they sat in meditation.

Sample Format 1:

  • Open - Brief Hello

  • Trade time 2-3 minutes to answer 1) How's your practice? 2) what is your intention for today?

  • Close: Appreciations, confirm plans for next time, Brief Dedication of merit

Sample Format 2

  • Agree on a shared topic

    • Sitting time

    • Check-ins

    • Awareness of a concept

    • etc.

  • Post a brief, one-liner once a day

Admirable Friends

Peers on the path of Recovery Dharma whom we meet at meetings, conferences, and other events. The network of friends whom we can call on for support, practice engaging in leisure activities, and other forms of casual support.

Sample Format:

  • Take time to pause and notice or cultivate curiosity, kindness, generosity, and joy while engaging in activities

Service Sangha

Peers on the path of Recovery Dharma who form deep friendships of mutual support from the practices of generosity and service to Recovery Dharma. Some support local sangha groups or Intersanghas. Others form Circles to concentrate on a topic for action for the fellowship. Others serve as volunteers for Recovery Dharma Global as board members, committee members, or volunteers.

Sample Format;

  • Take time to pause and notice or cultivate curiosity, kindness, generosity, and joy while serving together.