Scarlett Johansson (ScarJo)
Elon Musk (Elon)
Barista
Customer 1
[ScarJo walks into the coffee shop, wearing large sunglasses and a hoodie. Elon Musk is already there, sitting at a corner table with blueprints for a Mars habitat.]
Barista: (not recognizing her) Hi, welcome to StarBeans, what can I get you?
ScarJo: A double, tall, half-sweet, non-fat, caramel macchiato with soy milk, please.
Barista: You just ordered coffee like it's a film script! Anything else?
ScarJo: Nope, that's it. (pauses) Wait, do you have anything...futuristic?
Barista: Um, we have almond milk?
ScarJo: (laughs) Sure, why not. Throw it in there.
[ScarJo spots Elon Musk and walks over to his table.]
ScarJo: Hey Elon, what are you working on?
Elon: Ah, Scarlett! Just finalizing plans for my new Martian coffee shop, "StarshipBeans." Wanna invest?
ScarJo: Does it come with intergalactic WiFi?
Elon: Naturally. Also, you can pay in Dogecoin.
[Barista calls out an order for a "Karen."]
Customer 1: (rushing to the counter) Is this gluten-free, dairy-free, and sugar-free?
Barista: It's water, Karen.
[Back to ScarJo and Elon.]
ScarJo: So, you really think people will go to Mars for coffee?
Elon: Scarlett, people went to 'Cats' the musical for entertainment; they'll go to Mars for coffee.
ScarJo: Fair point. Hey, did you see my tweet about supporting you in the cage fight against Zuckerberg?
Elon: I did, and I’m thrilled! As a token of my appreciation, I’ve sent you a Tesla...toy car.
ScarJo: A toy car?
Elon: Battery not included.
ScarJo: Classic Elon.
[ScarJo’s phone rings with a "Lucy" ringtone.]
ScarJo: (answering phone) Hello?
Elon: (leaning in curiously) Is it NASA?
ScarJo: No, it's my agent... (pauses) I just got offered a role in the sequel to 'Ghost in the Shell.'
Elon: What's it called? 'Ghost in the Quantum Computer'?
ScarJo: (laughs) No, but they want to pay me in Bitcoin.
Elon: Ah, welcome to the future!
ScarJo: Or a very confusing tax season.
[Scene fades out as they both laugh, take a selfie, and ScarJo accidentally knocks over Elon's Martian coffee blueprints.]
Elon: (sarcastic) Perfect, now it’s a coffee planet.
ScarJo: And the first resident will be a Barista!
[End of Scene]