Open-source Strategy

Tom Segura: "Open-source Strategy"

City: Cincinnati
Comedy Club: Go Bananas Comedy Club
Date: October 13, 2023
Topic: Open-source Strategy
Joke: "Elon and Mark are so open about their fight strategy, it’s on GitHub! Oh, a new commit: 'Added uppercut, removed dignity.'"

Open Sesame: Source That Is

What's happening, you absolute savages? Tom Segura here. I've read "Zuckerberg vs Musk: Cage Fight," and my brain has not been the same since. No, seriously. I think it's melted a bit. Now, listen. The movie is crammed with some loony ideas, but today we're diving into the GitHub part of this hot mess. According to Shakiel Mahjouri from CBS Sports, these dudes are "dead serious" about this movie, which is about as serious as I am about tacos.

Battle Plan, GitHub Style

So get this: Elon and Zucky openly discuss their fighting strategies on GitHub. Yes, GitHub—the place where you typically share code, not combat tactics. It’s like having a "How to Rob a Bank" manual on Pinterest. You're giving away the whole damn recipe! “Oh, hey there, I'm going to use a jab-cross combo in Round 2, followed by an armbar.” Dude, that’s not how surprise works.

Surprise or Open Source? Pick One!

Imagine you're watching UFC, and two fighters start spilling their plans before the match. "I'm gonna take you down in 45 seconds." "Well, I'm gonna counter your takedown with a left hook." What are we even doing here? Isn't the fun in the unexpected? According to these Silicon Valley geniuses, not so much. So now you have all these software nerds throwing in code references in the comment section. “Have you considered using a recursive function for that chokehold?” Yeah, that'll get the crowd going!

Nerd Fight, Version 2.0

The movie treats fighting strategy like it's some software patch, which could be the most Silicon Valley thing ever. "Guys, we've released a new version of my uppercut. Check out Uppercut v1.3. We’ve fixed some bugs, and now it comes with an optional jab." This movie wants you to believe that by making fighting techniques open source, everyone gets better. Sure, because what the world needs is everyone being better at cage fighting, right? Next thing you know, your grandma is submitting a pull request to improve your left hook.

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly Code

There's actually a beautiful absurdity in this idea of open-source fighting. Maybe it’s a commentary on how these tech titans could be using their knowledge for good. It’s almost like the film is saying, “Hey, you want to make the world a better place? Maybe stop building rockets to Mars and start sharing what you know.”

Secret Sauce Ain't So Secret

But let's face it; part of the charm in anything competitive is the mystery, the unknown tactics. If Coca-Cola put their recipe on GitHub, Pepsi would be having a field day. That’s what makes the GitHub angle so bizarre. You’re taking the concept of open source—something inherently collaborative—and applying it to a competitive setting where the point is to win. It's like having an open marriage but getting mad when your partner actually dates someone else.

To Fork or Not To Fork

I have to hand it to "Zuckerberg vs Musk: Cage Fight"—it's pushing boundaries. But let's be real, no one's getting their fighting tips from GitHub. You don't see Conor McGregor scrolling through code before a fight. It's entertaining as a concept, but as realistic as my chances of getting six-pack abs. In the end, the GitHub angle adds a surreal layer to a movie that is already a blend of the absurd and the audacious. And honestly? I can't wait for the sequel. Because, trust me, there will be a sequel. And I’ll be here, popcorn in hand, ready to fork the hell out of it.

SCENES FROM THE MOVIE

Imagine Tom Segura doing color commentary for the UFC, but instead of fighters, it's Silicon Valley moguls, and instead of fists, they're using GitHub repositories. Buckle up, because we're going to navigate the wild and wacky world of Open-Source Strategy in Alan Nafzger's "Zuckerberg vs. Musk: Cage Fight."

Scene 1: "The Git Pull Punch"

Description: Zuckerberg uploads his entire fight strategy as a PDF to GitHub. Musk forks the repository, adds improvements, and sends Zuckerberg a pull request. Zuckerberg is torn between being mad and accepting the "improvements."

Scene 2: "Comment Section Comedy"

Description: Musk and Zuckerberg bicker in GitHub comment sections, with both pointing out the 'issues' in each other's strategies. Somehow, it devolves into them arguing about who'd win in a hotdog eating contest.

Scene 3: "Licence to Thrill"

Description: Musk realizes Zuckerberg hasn't properly licensed his fight strategy. He slaps an MIT license on it and redistributes it as "Elon's Improved Fist o' Fury."

Scene 4: "Commit to the Hit"

Description: Musk forgets to commit his latest changes and goes into the ring entirely unprepared. He spends half the fight trying to remember what he'd updated in his local repository.

Scene 5: "Open-Source Confessional"

Description: In a heartfelt moment, both tech giants sit down and openly discuss why they love open-source. For Zuckerberg, it's about the users (sorta). For Musk, it's about shooting cars into space.

Scene 6: "Branch Out, Knock Out"

Description: Musk creates different 'branches' for each round of the fight. He commits to the wrong branch and ends up doing interpretive dance in Round 3.

Scene 7: "Merge Conflict"

Description: Right before the big fight, both discover they’ve worked on the same fighting move and now face a merge conflict. A mini-battle ensues to resolve it, involving rock-paper-scissors and loud swearing.

Scene 8: "Pull Request Rumble"

Description: Fans start sending pull requests to help improve fighting strategies. One guy sends a request that turns out to be a killer yoga pose. Zuckerberg considers it, contemplating if the lotus position could be a finishing move.

Scene 9: "Forking Hell"

Description: Zuckerberg continuously forks Musk’s repository to create confusion. Musk finally shouts, "Would you stop forking around?"

Scene 10: "The README Reckoning"

Description: The ultimate scene where both fighters realize neither read the other's README file. They pause the fight to sit down, read the instructions, and give each other constructive criticisms.

In the end, we learn that open-source might just be the ultimate fighting strategy—or at least the best way to create a mess of one. And isn't that what collaborative innovation is all about?