His voice when he replied Xu Tangxi was very steady but in actual fact, he wasn't as calm as he appeared to be. Xu Tangxi had asthma. If she caught a cold or fell sick, her condition would be a lot worse than it would be for other people. It was so bad that when she was young, the most severe cold she had landed her in the ICU ward. This was the reason why their family was extra careful about her health. When he looked at the down jacket in the bag, he didn't know whether to say it was a coincidence or to say that it was fortunate that he had bought a jacket for Yi Zhe.
Regardless of whether it was a long or short break, No. 1 High always reopened on the night of the last day of the vacation. The students had to go back to school before the night self-study. Xu Tangcheng hadn't driven his car back but this made Xu Tangxi happy. She made some calls to her friends and left the house early.
Zhou Hui looked at Xu Tangxi's retreating back and shook her head. She said to Xu Tangcheng, "You're not sending her to school but she's practically leaping from joy. I've told her so many times to be slow and steady when walking. Slow and steady. But she can never remember it."
From the side, Daddy Xu tried to be the good guy and smooth things. "Aiya, there's no need to be so excessive. At the level of what she's doing, it's fine for her to be a little lively."
"How is it fine? The doctor said-"
"The doctor said she should not do strenuous exercises and that it depends on the state of her health," Xu Yueliang interjected. "But you can't fuss over her until she can't even move at all the whole day, can you? The child will feel suffocated. Furthermore, moving around as appropriate is also good for the body."
Zhou Hui had always been careful and prudent, and was also protective of her daughter. She wanted nothing more than to keep her in the palm of her hand everyday and shield her. Meanwhile, Xu Yueliang felt that she was sometimes simply being overly protective and that it might backfire on her. Even though they both meant well for the child, the two of them had quarreled frequently over Xu Tangxi's health all these years.
"I will fuss, so what? In that case, I won't fuss over you. If your leg hurts in the future, don't tell me."
"Aiyo, you're being unreasonable now. Why are you talking about me…"
Cheng Xu had just peeled a tangerine. He held it in his hand, unsure of who to give it to. Xu Tangcheng walked over and broke off half. He shook his head at Cheng Xu who was looking at him with a grave expression to indicate that this was normal and that Cheng Xu didn't have to worry.
He glanced at the wall clock. 6.20 p.m. He picked up the down jacket and opened the front door.
Yi Zhe was turning his home upside down in search of his key. He was frazzled to the point of snapping when he heard a voice coming from behind him. "Can't find it again?"
He turned around and saw Xu Tangcheng leaning against the door frame. The light in the corridor was very dim. Xu Tangcheng was half hidden in the darkness.
"Tangcheng-ge," he called out.
Xu Tangcheng nodded. "Can't you keep your key in a fixed spot?"
Yi Zhe's lips twitched but he didn't know what to say. He didn't have this habit and it wasn't like he was losing his key on purpose. He just didn't know when and where he had carelessly tossed it. It was like selective amnesia. From the moment he entered the house, he had no memory of the key.
"Can I go in?"
Yi Zhe nodded.
The state of the living room was exactly the same as what Xu Tangcheng had spied from outside the door. The sofa was strewn with women's clothing and high feels were lying in disarray in a corner. There were no green plants to freshen the air and no humidifier. Even the clock hanging on the wall had been showing the same time for who knew how long.
Xu Tangcheng's head swiveled to another angle. He saw a bowl of instant noodles on the messy dining table.
Xu Tangcheng's sudden arrival left Yi Zhe rather at a loss for what to do. The unbearably chaotic state of his house also gave rise to a feeling of awkwardness mixed with embarrassment. Time and again, he exposed the negative parts of himself in front of Xu Tangcheng. He quickly swept all the clothes on the sofa into his arms, threw them into the bathroom and closed the door on them. He felt his face suddenly heating up.
"Tangcheng-ge." He pointed at the sofa, his gesture a little unnatural. "Have a seat."
Xu Tangcheng looked at his rather evasive gaze and smiled. He placed the shopping bag in his hands on the floor. "I'll pass. Let me help you find your key."
The smell of instant noodles still permeated the air, yet to disperse. Yi Zhe looked at Xu Tangcheng moving around and wanted nothing more than to shatter a bottle of air freshener right there and then to cover up the vile smell.
Since it was someone else's home, it wasn't right for Xu Tangcheng to search through the clothes on the sofa and the rug so he limited the scope of his search to the T.V. cabinet and the coffee table. Logically speaking, a key could not sprout wings and fly but even after searching for a long while, the two of them still could not find it. Xu Tangcheng finally had a taste of the difficult training Yi Zhe went through every day when he left the house. He emptied out the tissue box in his hands, checked that there was nothing inside, then put it back into place and also shifted it so that it was placed at a convenient spot. He rested both arms on his knees for a while, then twisted his body around to touch Yi Zhe who had his back to him and asked, "Could it be that every time you come in, the very first thing you do is hide your key?"
As he spoke, Xu Tangcheng casually picked up the teapot that was placed at the side.
He was just checking that spot without much thought or hope but unexpectedly, a glinting key was lying right there on the newly exposed glass surface.
Xu Tangcheng was briefly stunned. He turned his wrist to look at the shape of the teapot base.
"You're really…" His head lowered from his laughter. "...highly-skilled."
The surface area of the teapot base was not large and it was also not very curved in. If the position of the key was just slightly off, the teapot wouldn't be steady.
Yi Zhe stood at the side. His hands were still lifting up a sofa cushion, a corner opened and looking very worn and decayed. He saw Xu Tangcheng stand up and reach out a hand to him.
The key was cold as ice when it fell into his hand. The temperature of Xu Tangcheng's hand that he had accidentally touched was also cold.
He held the key and when he came back to himself, Xu Tangcheng had already turned around and walked back a couple of steps, and was bending down to rummage in the large shopping bag he had brought with him.
Yi Zhe's brows drew together, just a slight bit.
The heating in the house was not very good, especially in the living room and the second bedroom. At most, it was only a little warmer than Yi Zhe's hand. Naturally, Xiang Xiyi would not bother herself with something like the heating not being warm. Yi Zhe didn't know how and also didn't care at all. But right now, he felt that he should have fixed the heating.
Yi Zhe tossed the sofa cushion he was holding onto the sofa. The cushion bounced a couple of times before coming to a rest crookedly against the seat. It looked rather sorry.
"My house is a little cold." He cleared his throat. "Tangcheng-ge, if there's nothing else, you should hurry back."
"Are you shooing me away?" Xu Tangcheng laughed, straightening up as he asked.
"No." Yi Zhe was not good with words. Even when he wanted to explain, he was only limited to such a feeble and subjective denial.
"I accompanied Cheng Xu to buy clothes. I saw this one and thought that it suits you so I bought it." Xu Tangcheng pulled down the zip on the jacket. His hands held it by the shoulders and he shook it out in the air a couple of times. "It was compacted for too long and hasn't puffed up yet. Never mind, just try out the size for now. I'm not sure what size you wear. If it doesn't fit, I'll change it."
As Xu Tangcheng spoke, he had already come to a stop in front of Yi Zhe. He passed the jacket over but no one took it from him. Xu Tangcheng saw that he didn't have much of an expression on his face and was just looking at the jacket without moving an inch, so he asked rather hesitatingly, "You don't like this style? It's okay, I can change-"
"No."
Yi Zhe brought a hand up to hold the jacket's sleeve. He held it in a loose grip, as though he didn't dare use any force, then let it go.
"It looks good."
The down jacket fitted well. The shoulders were just right and the width when worn over his school uniform was also just nice. Just like when he was checking out Xu Tangxi's new clothes, Xu Tangcheng gripped Yi Zhe's elbow and made him turn around, checking to see if there was anywhere that didn't fit.
"The sleeves for this style seemed to have been designed to be on the longer side but that also makes it warmer. I actually wanted to buy you a pair of gloves but the one I saw today was really too ugly. Even if I bought them for you, I guess that you wouldn't want to wear them." After studying it from top to bottom, he looked up and asked Yi Zhe. "What do you think? Why don't you look in the mirror and see?"
"No need." Yi Zhe was silent for a while. He lowered his head to look. "I think it's pretty good."
"I won't change it then," Xu Tangcheng said decisively. "Let me cut the tags for you. Wear it when you go to school later. The temperature is going to dip tonight."
He wanted to cut the tags but couldn't find a pair of scissors. Wearing the thick down jacket, Yi Zhe turned the living room upside down but as before, he had no luck. Hence, he turned around and said to Xu Tangcheng, "I have a nail clipper in my room."
Xu Tangcheng nodded. He watched as Yi Zhe walked to his bedroom and pushed the door open.
He didn't know what he was thinking but he followed after him a few steps to the door.
The arrangement of the items in the bedroom was of the same style as the living room, albeit with less clothes. Xu Tangcheng walked a few steps in and reached Yi Zhe's desk. What he found unexpected was that Yi Zhe's desk had a surprising amount of test papers and revision questions, and most of them bore the marks of having been completed. His eyes swept across a corner of a paper. On it were printed rectangular boxes, filled in with a list of names and exam scores.
Yi Zhe's head was still lowered. Xu Tangcheng acted on his own initiative and reached out to tug that piece of paper out.
26th place.
"Improved so much?" Xu Tangcheng was astonished. He turned his head and smiled at the person beside him. "You're pretty amazing."
Yi Zhe looked at him without saying a word. The result slip that had been folded until it had many edges was held in Xu Tangcheng's hands and the row of numbers printed on it that belonged to him also fell under Xu Tangcheng's gaze.
He didn't know if this was something everyone went through. Repressing himself to the extreme, expending his efforts to the limit, going through so much torment and working through the night with only the stars and the moon for company—and it seemed to be all for the sake of showing it to one person in exchange for this one ordinary compliment and this one calm gaze. Just like the poem—A steed kicks up dust, the concubine smiles[1]—but here, both the roiling dust and galloping horse were something he was experiencing himself.
"Your marks are a little unbalanced, but it's not too bad…" Xu Tangcheng said as he pondered. "Your literature marks are slightly lacking. I see that among those in the top twenty, the lowest mark is 118 and the highest 137. Yours is 102. The gap is a little wide."
"Yeah. My literature was even worse in the past. My schoolmate helped me improve."
As Yi Zhe spoke, his hands were still rummaging through the drawer but his eyes were paying attention to Xu Tangcheng's expression the whole time.
"Which part in the literature exam did you not do well in?"
Yi Zhe lowered his head and pushed the drawer shut. "Composition. I don't know how to write. I also don't understand the reading comprehension texts."
He shouldn't laugh but Xu Tangcheng still ended up laughing. That was true. Yi Zhe was not the type who could follow a prescribed format and write a senior high essay. As for those twisting and winding sentences in the reading comprehension texts that contained layers of hidden meanings, he probably disliked them even more.
In the end, he still couldn't find the nail clipper. Yi Zhe smacked his head in frustration. He clearly remembered putting in on the desk after using it the last time.
"It's all right." Seeing that he still wanted to search for it, Xu Tangcheng quickly interrupted him. "If you continue searching, No. 1's night self-study is going to end. Ai, what are you doing!"
Seeing that he could find neither scissors nor nail clipper, Yi Zhe decided to just use brute strength to pull off the tag. He had just exerted force when Xu Tangcheng stopped him.
"Don't pull, you'll cut your hand." Xu Tangcheng's brows furrowed as he pulled Yi Zhe's hand away. He took a look; as he expected, there was already a red line cutting across the skin. "Why are you in such a hurry? Just get a lighter and burn it. You should have that right?"
He did.
Yi Zhe used the hand that wasn't in Xu Tangcheng's grip to dig in his pocket and take out a lighter. Xu Tangcheng took it. He pulled the zip until it was at Yi Zhe's chest. There was a click and a small flame appeared.
The flame leaped about, drawing close to the string, and also carving into a pair of eyes.
It was clearly just a tiny flame but even at that distance, Yi Zhe felt as though he could feel its heat. And it even came wave after wave, crashing against his breaths, heating them up.
Throughout the entire night self-study, his mind was filled with the way Xu Tangcheng had looked, the way his head was bowed when he burned off the tag for him. When Zhao Weifan came by to collect the homework, she saw him writing "C2H4" again and again on a physics paper.
She stared at him for a while but Yi Zhe did not show any sign of noticing her. Zhao Weifan suddenly lowered her head and pushed her face right in front of Yi Zhe.
"Fuck." Yi Zhe threw down his pen and tilted his body all the way back in shock. "You gave me a fright."
"Buddy, are you in love?"
The moment Zhao Weifan said those words, Yi Zhe's gaze froze. In the moments after that, he did not react at all to her question. His brows furrowed and he stared at the back of the head of the person sitting in front of him in a stupor. Zhao Weifan was so pissed off that in the end, she collected the paper on the desk that was filled with "C2H4" and threw him a ruthless line, "Just wait for Old Zheng to teach you a lesson!"
Zhao Weifan walked ahead a few steps but she was still dissatisfied. Carrying a stack of papers, her ponytail swinging behind her, she walked back and smacked Yi Zhe mercilessly on his back. "Are you mad? Wearing a down jacket indoors, you'll boil to death!"
This time, Yi Zhe's reaction was strong. He jumped up at once and even cursed. Then, he grabbed his shoulder and twisted around to look at his back. Before he could see clearly, he was already shouting at Zhao Weifan's retreating back. "Didn't you just finish writing the questions on the blackboard? Did you wash your hands!"
Zhao Weifan didn't even turn around. She just walked off jauntily.
Yi Zhe persevered and wore the down jacket for the whole night. By the time it was the last night self-study session, he was so hot that he was steaming all over. His deskmate saw that even his face was red but didn't dare to directly tell him to take off his jacket and only asked him in a roundabout way, "Don't you feel hot?"
"No." Yi Zhe shot him a glance and didn't pay him any more attention. After a while, he suddenly leaned back and peered at the inside of his desk.
"You put your down jacket inside your desk?"
"Yeah." His deskmate didn't understand what he was implying.
The school desks were made of wood and there were inevitably some splinters sticking up. Yi Zhe thought, what if the jacket snagged on them and tore? He looked around him and saw that some students had a large paper bag at their feet, their jackets stored inside.
"Why don't you use a bag?"
His deskmate glanced at him and pursed his lips, saying in a soft voice, "Only girls use bags..."
Yi Zhe turned this question of where to keep the jacket over in his head many times. In the end, he still decided to bring that large bag with him tomorrow.
That day, he was in a good mood. After the night self-study, he again rode his bike around the town a few times. When he reached the slope again, he pulled the hood over his head. The weather forecast had clearly stated that the temperature would be dipping drastically but he was not feeling the least bit cold. He only felt that the sky in the winter night was suddenly so full of stars and that the moon was as bright as a lamp.
The road home was already empty, devoid of humans. Yi Zhe parked his bike and went up the building, a few steps at a time. When he wanted to open the door with his key, he saw a keychain handing on the handle.
It was in the shape of a little cartoon girl. Red hair and very large round eyes.
Yi Zhe didn't hurry to unhook it. He first crouched down and examined the keychain closely.
He thought for a long while and felt that this style could only belong to Xu Tangxi. He thought of asking her when he bumped into her tomorrow but when he took down the keychain, something struck in his heart and he dug out his phone.
Half past eleven. He shouldn't be sleeping yet.
He pressed on his phone with one thumb and sent a message that carried more than what was written on the surface.
There's a keychain on my door. Did Tangxi give it to me?
He gripped his phone, turning it over and over a few times between his fingers.
The reply that came was not a message; instead, it was a burst of a still unfamiliar ringtone, waking up the sound activated lamp that had gone dark just now while he waited.
"Just got back?"
The call connected. Xu Tangcheng spoke first.
"Yeah. You're not sleeping yet?"
Xu Tangcheng said he was just getting ready for bed, then asked him if the keychain looked good.
"It looks good. Did Tangxi give it to me?"
But Xu Tangcheng's answer was, "It was me."
"You?" Yi Zhe looked at the thing in his hand in disbelief.
On the other end, Xu Tangcheng laughed. "Why, it can't be from me?"
"No." Yi Zhe touched the cartoon girl's red hair. "It's just a little… too girlish."
"Yeah, I think so too. But I searched around the house for a long while and couldn't find a keychain. I think this one was something Tangxi bought in the past. Just make do with it for now. At least, with this hanging alongside your key, it would be easier to find." Xu Tangcheng probably also felt that it was funny for Yi Zhe to use this kind of keychain, he kept laughing while he talked. "Actually, it's pretty cute. It looks good. If anyone asks, just say that your girlfriend gave it to you."
If Zhao Weifan's "in love" earlier that night only made him go in a daze for a while, then Xu Tangcheng's "girlfriend" completely scrambled his brains.
He desperately pulled his thoughts back before finally making out Xu Tangcheng's following words.
"Do you know which cartoon she's from?"
Yi Zhe shook his head, then hastily spoke a line to the empty corridor, "I don't know."
"The Powerpuff Girls." Xu Tangcheng was probably in a very good mood. He gave Yi Zhe a detailed introduction. "Yours is called Blossom. There's a blonde one called Bubbles and one wearing green… I forgot what she's called. In the past, there was a period of time when Tangxi made me watch it with her…"
The phone receiver could make a person's voice sound nicer. Even many years in the future, when Yi Zhe had studied communications and learned that signals went through modulation, frequency conversion, filtering, demodulation and other such processes during transmission and became distorted and muddied by random noise, he would still stand firmly by this opinion.
It was probably because while science gave a person a rational way of thinking, what emotions gave was an irrational obsession, and the courage to fight alone.
He gripped the Powerpuff Girl in his hand, his back leaning against the tightly closed door. The light in the corridor had gone dim but brightened again when he spoke. Again, it dimmed; again, it brightened. Throughout the alternating brightness and darkness, he remembered clearly that at the start of this call, he had not called the name "Tangcheng-ge."
T/N:
[1] "A steed kicks up dust, the concubine smiles" is from the poem "Passing Huaqing Palace" by the Tang dynasty poet Du Mu. In general, the poem criticises Emperor Xuanzong's wasteful and extravagant habits but the particular line quote in this chapter is about the lengths he goes to to dote on his concubine Yang Guifei, i.e. getting lychees speed-delivered via horseback from the south just for her.