Zheng Yikun had drunk alcohol so after the meal, he left his car right there at the restaurant and hitched a ride in Xu Tangcheng's car. Throughout the journey, he sat in the backseat and teased Cheng Xu without reservations. Xu Tangcheng glanced at the rearview mirror a few times but it didn't make Zheng Yikun restrain himself at all. After Zheng Yikun got down from the car, before he put on the left signal and got on the road, Xu Tangcheng asked Cheng Xu, "Didn't you say that you don't like being with him? Why are the two of you so close?"

"We're not," Cheng Xu muttered, then continued. "At the start, I was unwilling to but later on, there was one time when I was eating with other people and I got drunk. I bumped into him at the restaurant, he got me out of it and brought me back to his place to stay the night there. After that, I felt that he's pretty nice."

"You got drunk? I thought you didn't drink much?"

"Mm…" Cheng Xu said vaguely, "It was when I went to a social event with someone."

Other than helping Fu Daiqing all this while, Xu Tangcheng knew that Cheng Xu had never done any kind of side job or internship so following this line of thought, he roughly knew what kind of social event it was. He just thought it was rather strange; Cheng Xu's alcohol tolerance was even worse than his own, why would he still follow along to a social event?

They very soon reached the south gate. Xu Tangcheng stopped the car by the side of the road. Yi Zhe unfastened his seat belt but didn't get down immediately and instead, put his hand on the door and looked at him silently.

Cheng Xu was unaware of the relationship between the two so even when they were about to part, neither of them said anything. Xu Tangcheng lifted his hand from the steering wheel and moved it to his ear, furtively making the hand sign for a phone call.

Cheng Xu was still saying goodbye to Yi Zhe. Yi Zhe secretly raised the corners of his lips at the person in the driver's seat.

It was strange. More often than not, it was this kind of sneaky and secretive little gestures that gave a person an intense feeling of being in love, of being with the person they belonged to.

The reason why Yi Zhe was so reluctant to part was because Xu Tangcheng had originally agreed to see the lights at Blue Harbour tomorrow evening. However, Xu Tangcheng received a message from his teacher today saying that he would be back from his business trip tomorrow and could only stay in the city for a night. The teacher was also too busy recently and had no choice but to take up everyone's rest time to hold meetings for their research groups.

From four in the afternoon until half past eleven at night, Groups 1 to 5, one and a half hours per group. The time was truly rushed and packed.

Xu Tangcheng was in Group 3. No matter what, he could not fly to Blue Harbour to see the lights with Yi Zhe.

Lying on the bed after washing up, the two of them discussed the time over a phone call. Of course, they did not only discuss the time but also chatted on and on about this and that, the phone call lasting a full forty minutes. Even Cheng Xu, in the end, looked curiously at Xu Tangcheng who was laughing as he talked.

The phone that was held by his ear the whole time was rather warm. On top of that, Cheng Xu's curious looks were increasingly blatant, so Xu Tangcheng finally entered the "goodbye" phase of the call.

After he hung up, Cheng Xu sat on the other bed and asked curiously, "You guys are going to Blue Harbour?"

"Yeah."

"When?"

"Probably next week," Xu Tangcheng said.

"Oh."

Seeing how Cheng Xu was giving him a probing look, Xu Tangcheng stared blankly, then understood right away that Cheng Xu was thinking of going with them but didn't feel able to say it.

If it was any other time, he would definitely invite Cheng Xu along at once. But it was a bit different this time because they would be going home in a few days.

Xu Tangcheng had to admit that when it came to this relationship, he could be in a more relaxed state on campus. The environment when they were home had a lot of restrictions, and his family was always bustling around right before him. A lot of trifling matters or words inevitably made him think frequently of the matters he would have to face sooner or later.

Hence, going to see the lights this time was actually something he and Yi Zhe both thought of as a date, even if they had not explicitly said so.

"Do you want to come along?"

After mulling it over for the third time, Xu Tangcheng still asked in the end.

Cheng Xu was changing his quilt cover and gave it a strong shake. Without waiting for the force to travel to the other end of the quilt, he asked carefully, "Can I?"

"Sure," Xu Tangcheng said firmly but right after that, he immediately added, "But there's something I think I should tell you."

All this while, Xu Tangcheng had not told Cheng Xu that he was together with Yi Zhe. There hadn't been any suitable opportunities and if he suddenly brought it up, he felt that it would be too abrupt.

But he had never liked deceiving others, especially someone who had complete trust in him.

"What is it?"

The light in the dorm room was at the door. They had to get down from the bed to reach the switch. Xu Tangcheng climbed down the rungs. Cheng Xu had already spread out the newly-covered quilt and slipped under it.

When he got down to it, this kind of relationship that was not considered conventional was something Xu Tangcheng hadn't been exposed to for long. This was the first time he planned to tell someone else about this matter in a direct manner.

He didn't rush to speak. He first picked up his mug and drank some water, then looked at Cheng Xu and spoke.

"I don't want to purposely hide this from you. At the moment, my relationship with Yi Zhe is considered…"

Two pairs of eyes met. A slight pause. Xu Tangcheng breathed in, then exhaled softly and said. "Free love."

This one admission of his was cautious and serious. This one phrase was the choice he made after a long deliberation.

He was observing Cheng Xu's expression the whole time, wanting to figure out whether or not Cheng Xu was truly bothered by their unconventionality. But after hearing his words, Cheng Xu stared at him in a daze the whole time.

It didn't seem like disgust, nor did it seem like approval; it was more like incomprehension. Xu Tangcheng chalked his reaction up to the brief period of blankness when being exposed to something for the first time, before the judgement on whether it was right or wrong was made and complicated feelings had yet to arise.

"The reason why I'm telling you is because I hope you can judge for yourself. You and I have always gotten along very well. If you feel that my being this way will make you uncomfortable, you can tell me directly. I can understand."

He was being open with Cheng Xu and naturally hoped to gain his understanding. But he also understood that every single person had their own likes and dislikes. Hence, he continued to say comfortingly, "I won't change the way I treat you because of what you think. Or, if you feel that it's awkward and want to move to another dorm, I can help you with the application."

After saying all that he should, he decided to leave the remaining time to Cheng Xu to digest it. Xu Tangcheng didn't look at Cheng Xu anymore. He walked to the door and his hand hovered over the light switch.

He was just about to switch the lights off when Cheng Xu suddenly shifted behind him and brought him to a halt with a very rushed line. "It's not that."

Xu Tangcheng's heart relaxed at once. It seemed like the accumulated tension just now was more than he had thought, and having the weight off his shoulders was also more wonderful than he had expected.

"I just, suddenly…"

He lifted his head to look at him, waiting for him to finish his words. But as Cheng Xu spoke on, his voice faded. He lowered his head and stopped for quite a while.

Xu Tangcheng waited patiently. The quilt on the bed shifted. After some rustling sounds, Cheng Xu lifted his head again.

"I suddenly feel a little envious."

The trembling in those words gave Xu Tangcheng a start. When he took a closer look, he realised that under those thick lenses, Cheng Xu's eyes were red.

And also.... When Cheng Xu forced a smile at him, the corners of his lips were trembling. But he persisted in repeating, "I'm just a little envious."

Xu Tangcheng wanted to ask him what was wrong but when he opened his mouth, before he could say anything, Cheng Xu had already pulled his quilt up and lay down, his head covered. A muffled voice came from under the quilt. "You can switch off the lights."

Xu Tangcheng was now the one at a loss. He bit on his lower lip and looked at the blanketed lump on the bed. In the end, he still moved his fingers and switched off the lights.

The dorm was extremely quiet. Someone had overturned something upstairs and there was a round of jumbled noises, clink-clank-clink-clank. The person under the quilt shifted. Based on the outline, he should have curled himself into a very small ball.

Xu Tangcheng stood beside his bed for a while. There was a noise—intermittent, muffled. He reached two fingers out and pinched a small spot on Cheng Xu's quilt, using a very slight force to tug it downwards. But the person under the quilt held on tightly, not letting him move it.

Xu Tangcheng never imagined that his admission would result in this. He felt a little remorseful but heavier than that were the feelings of sorrow in his heart.

He stopped tugging the quilt. Instead, over the thick cotton quilt, he cupped the back of Cheng Xu's head with his hand.

He stroked lightly a couple of times, then asked in a very soft voice, "Is it Fu Daiqing?"

The mental image of Cheng Xu staring at his phone and waiting for a message on a certain winter's day in the library suddenly became clear. The story continued to unfold; there was also Cheng Xu suddenly dejected after getting the message, and also Cheng Xu asking him whether or not he could follow him home for New Year's.

It turned out that when it came to love, the emotions invoked were all similar. Struggling, suffering, yet without a way out.

In the end, Cheng Xu did not manage to say anything. Xu Tangcheng stood there for a long while, staying with him, patting him lightly every now and then and listening to his sometimes loud and sometimes soft crying.

When he finally calmed down, Xu Tangcheng put a packet of tissue next to his pillow, then told him over the blanket, "Now you know about me. In the future, if there's anything that you cannot think through, you can tell me. Don't keep it all inside yourself."

He climbed up to his bed again and picked up his phone. After pressing on it to light up the screen a few times, he opened the message screen and sent a message.

There wasn't any particular meaning in the message, just the "Goodnight" that he had already said. But, at this moment, Xu Tangcheng really wanted to contact him.

Naturally, there was no response. The receiver should have fallen asleep long ago and might even be dreaming now. Xu Tangcheng turned over, lying on his side and facing outwards, looking at the person opposite him who was making some slight rustling noises.

One hand reached out from under the quilt, pulled two tissues, then shrank back in like a tortoise.

Let's not wait until we're going home. Why don't we go next Monday evening?

After sending this message, Xu Tangcheng put down his phone and closed his eyes. But as he prepared to go to sleep, his mind fuzzy and muddled, he saw a scene from a very long time ago. On the first day he entered university, he tidied up his own luggage and helped someone take something over to the opposite dorm. There was a boy in the opposite dorm sitting on the bed on the right side of the window, putting a cover on his pillow. When he came in, the boy looked at him from above.

It was very hot that day. On top of that, after tidying up for half a day, the boy's white T-shirt was very creased and each shoulder had a line of sweat soaking the cloth, faintly showing the outline of his body. His collar was also a little askew, revealing the slightly flushed skin on his collarbone.

The boy was still holding his pillow in his hands, maintaining his posture of tidying his things and not noticing these tiny details. He quietly smiled at Xu Tangcheng at the door, a little ill at ease, shy and embarrassed. After a long while, he finally said softly, "Hello, I'm Cheng Xu."

That was the first time he met Cheng Xu.

The fan in the center of the ceiling kept spinning. The wind was cool and refreshing, completely capable of breaking the sultry heat, yet it did not reach his body at all.