There were many things that Yi Zhe was not good at and among them, the one he was worst at was talking to other people.
It was very quiet inside the car, so quiet that he could feel very clearly the tendrils of pain slowly creeping out from the injury on his shoulder and winding their way to his heart.
"Yi Zhe."
Having not gotten a reply even after a long while, Xu Tangcheng again called his name softly. Yi Zhe lifted his head and met Xu Tangcheng's eyes. In his recollections that were few and far between, Xu Tangcheng had always been patient, just like he was now. There were quite a few times when he had also just called his name and then, softly said…
"Say something."
The lights in the car had not been switched on. The only source of illumination between the two of them was the light shining through the windshield. Very dim, very hidden, but Yi Zhe felt that under this kind of lighting, Xu Tangcheng's face was exceptionally clear. His hand resting on his leg shifted; without realising it, his fingers touched a hole that was ripped into the fabric during the fight just now. The loose edges were soft to the touch, teasing the grooves of his fingertips.
"Yes."
With just a simple word, Yi Zhe answered Xu Tangcheng's question that was actually very complicated. Softly, easily, he appended a full stop to their conversation tonight.
Xu Tangcheng wasn't sure if his persuasion tonight could be considered a success but when the car stopped at the intersection, he carefully observed Yi Zhe's expression and saw that the other person was looking out the window with a tranquil face, thinking of something.
Some of it should have gone inside his head.
At almost two in the morning, they reached home. When they went up the building, Xu Tangcheng was still repeating the nurse's instructions in a soft voice. Yi Zhe nodded obediently and said goodbye to him at the door to his house. But when he reached into his pocket, he realised that his house key wasn't with him.
Xu Tangcheng had already opened his door. He pulled out the key and turned around, and saw Yi Zhe standing there awkwardly.
"You didn't bring your key with you?"
He should have had. Yi Zhe was actually unsure whether he had not brought his keys or whether he had lost them during the fight but he still nodded and said, "Yeah."
"Is Auntie Xiang at home?" After asking, it occurred to Xu Tangcheng what time it was now. He looked away and said, "Forget it. Come over to my house and sleep here."
Yi Zhe also had no intentions of knocking on the door. If Xiang Xiyi was home and he roused her now, he was afraid that the entire building would be awakened by her cursing. But at the same time, he also did not intend to go to Xu Tangcheng's house.
"No thanks. I'll stay the night at the guesthouse next door."
"Why are you going to a guesthouse for?" Xu Tangcheng opened the door and beckoned Yi Zhe. "Come in."
Yi Zhe still shook his head.
Since it was still summer, Yi Zhe had only again worn his T-shirt that had a sleeve cut off after his wounds were bandaged. His battleworn black T-shirt together with the white bandages on his shoulder made a miserable sight. Xu Tangcheng was already so sleepy he could barely keep his eyes open. He started considering if it would be easier to drag this gravely injured person inside with brute force or to continue persuading him with logic. After comparing their heights, Xu Tangcheng picked the latter.
"You don't have to mind my parents-"
"Tangcheng-ge."
Xu Tangcheng had just opened his mouth to speak when Yi Zhe suddenly cut him off. His sleepiness slowed his reaction by half a beat. He spaced out for a while, then answered. "Huh?"
Yi Zhe himself wasn't sure what the reason was. He faced Xu Tangcheng whose eyes were slightly reddened and hastily threw down a "You don't have to bother about me, get an early rest," then ran down the stairs without looking back.
The entire sequence of his movements caught Xu Tangcheng off guard. But it was really too late in the night now so he didn't dare raise his voice in the corridor. He only called out to Yi Zhe once in a low voice, then quickly shut his house door and went after him. However, when he reached the bottom of the building, Yi Zhe was no longer anywhere to be seen in the vast, empty darkness.
The next night, Xu Tangcheng bumped into Xiang Xiyi. She was wearing a wine red dress, cursing while pounding on the door with one of her very sharp high heels. When she saw Xu Tangcheng come out, she let out a laugh. A cigarette was wedged between her fingers; she brought it to her mouth and exhaled heavily. "Did that brat change the locks?"
Bright red nails, bright red lips, a deathly pale cigarette and lightly floating smoke. If put in a film, this should be the scene of a beautiful woman filled with a world-weary aesthetic.
A beautiful woman. Even Xu Tangcheng had to acknowledge this. Xiang Xiyi's disposition that could make a person shrink back was not something every beautiful woman of an older age could have. For good or for bad, she was too extraordinary.
Xu Tangcheng dropped his gaze and said politely, "I don't know."
All the way downstairs, he could still hear the loud pounding from upstairs interspersed with the increasingly unpleasant cursing and verbal abuse.
Speaking of which, it was strange. After that day, Xu Tangcheng had returned home a few times but he didn't bump into Yi Zhe again. The house opposite was so quiet it seemed as though it had never been occupied. Xu Tangcheng didn't know whether or not Yi Zhe had a mobile phone so even though he was worried, he had no way to contact him. But one morning, when he came back after buying groceries, he bumped into a girl.
The girl was leaning carefully against the front door of Yi Zhe's house, listening for any noise inside. When she saw Xu Tangcheng, she immediately straightened up and gave him an embarrassed smile and a nod.
Xu Tangcheng went up and saw her knock on the door. She seemed to be confirming that there was no one inside before taking out a key.
He looked curiously at her. After a moment's hesitation, he finally opened his mouth to ask politely, "May I know if you are Yi Zhe's friend?"
The girl was shocked by this sudden noise and twisted around. She looked at this man who was standing in front of her and holding a bag of groceries.
"Ah, yes… I am," the girl stammered. After saying that, she seemed to think of something and quickly emphasised. "I'm not a thief. I'm helping him pick up some things."
Xu Tangcheng nodded, feeling more at ease. He continued to ask, "What happened to him?"
"He…" The girl was just about to speak when she abruptly cut herself off and pressed her lips together. After a long hmm, she said, "He's fine. It's the weekend, you know. We're going out to play."
Girlfriend?
The phrase "early love" popped up like a bubble in Xu Tangcheng's mind. Then, he quickly popped it. Who hasn't had a crush? Going on dates is better than getting into fights.
Xu Tangcheng didn't think too much and just made a noise of assent.
Zhao Weifan brought the things Yi Zhe wanted to the hospital. She saw that he was still lying in bed, body incapacitated but spirit steadfast, his arm raised up to do his science paper.
"I brought the things for you. Here, your key." Zhao Weifan passed him the key then exhorted worriedly, "Keep it well, don't lose it again."
Yi Zhe let out a snort, his eyes not looking away. "Leave it there."
A few minutes later, he finished the last major biology question. He closed his eyes and tossed the paper over to Zhao Weifan. Zhao Weifan dug out a red pen from her pocket and graded it for him, the pen sweeping over the sheets busily. Then, she waved the paper with a score of 256 before Yi Zhe. "Young man, continue working hard."
Yi Zhe opened his half-closed eyes and looked at the paper. He asked Zhao Weifan, "What did you get?"
Zhao Weifan smiled faintly. "288."
Yi Zhe grabbed the test paper and started looking at the mistakes without saying a word.
Seeing his refusal to admit defeat, Zhao Weifan wanted to laugh. She shifted the stool, her eyes curved into a smile as she shuffled over to the spot next to Yi Zhe's head. "Come, let your beloved academic committee member explain to you."
Yi Zhe gave her a warning look. "Don't ask for trouble."
Zhao Weifan was not the least bit scared of his angry face. She continued to smile good-naturedly. "Aiyo, if it's 256 then it's 256. You still have a lot of room for improvement."
The fact that Zhao Weifan and Yi Zhe were friends was something that no one dared to believe and no one knew how it came to be. But strangely, Yi Zhe had shielded this ordinary girl unwaveringly for so many years. There were even those who said that Yi Zhe had once "lost his head for the fair beauty" and beat up a few boys who had mocked Zhao Weifan and called her fat until they were lying on their backs. He even made them stand in a row and bow and apologise to Zhao Weifan one by one.
Yi Zhe hadn't made many mistakes and they were mostly in the science sections that required memorisation. Zhao Weifan finished her instructions efficiently and looked at Yi Zhe who had his brows furrowed, his body awkwardly positioned as he scribbled in his book, and couldn't help saying, "Just look at you. Is there something wrong with your head? Who on earth purposely gets into a fight like you did?"
When she got to school that morning, she heard that Yi Zhe and a group from No. 7 High School had gotten into a major fight. The news had made its way to the experimental class in No. 1 that was practically isolated from the outside world, so it must have been a very shocking one. Carrying a stack of maths test papers, Zhao Weifan heard a few of the more mischievous boys in the class discuss Yi Zhe.
"Shit, he challenged a group on his own. He still ended up beaten half dead but that's fucking awesome. Even if you want to look for death, that's not the way to do it."
"Let's see how Old Du handles it this time. The last time he got into a fight, didn't the teacher in charge of the year wanted to remove him from the experimental class? In the end, Old Du didn't agree. This time… I think it's not certain. Do you guys think Old Du can still hold up?"
"It looks pretty damn hard… If his results are exceptionally good, Old Du might still be able to stand firm…"
Her face stiff as a board, Zhao Weifan walked up to them and slapped the test paper in her hand down on the table. "101."
The boys' discussion was interrupted by her sudden movement. They shifted their gazes to her, unsure what her intention was. Zhao Weifan ignored them and openly walked to Yi Zhe's empty desk and put down another test paper on the desk. She had actually really wanted to read out the score on the paper and let the people around her hear for themselves whose results were not "exceptionally good". But she also knew that there were some people who could not understand the words left unsaid.
Of course, Yi Zhe knew what other people were saying about him and he even knew the details that had not been spread. That day, after that terrible fight, Yi Zhe had lay on the bed in the hospital emergency room while the person who had always provoked him was sitting at the side and glaring at him unceasingly. Yi Zhe found him annoying and said to him, "Stop glaring, didn't we say that everything ended just now?"
His calm and placid words made the other person explode in rage.
"Are you a fucking idiot? Huh?" That person just couldn't understand. Yi Zhe's side could be considered to have won the round the last time they fought at the billiards hall, so why did he pick a fight for no reason? If there was a fight to pick, it should be his side looking for Yi Zhe. How the hell was it Yi Zhe's turn to pick a fight?
His teeth clenched as he endured the nurse's not-at-all gentle administrations. He asked, cursing the whole time, "My wounds just got a little better and here you come, picking another goddamned fight! Don't you know the rules? You aren't even giving others time to breathe?"
The more Yi Zhe listened, the more irritated he was. Fuck this fuck that, he thought. Aren't you fucking tired.
He shot a glance at the other person and pulled his lips into a superficial smile. "Like I said, I'm not doing this anymore. I'll clear everything in one go and save the trouble."
The other person was attacked by the rubbing alcohol until he was sweating. "Like hell you're not doing this anymore!"
"I'm really not." Yi Zhe looked at the ceiling. Suddenly serious, he said, "I'm in Year 3 now. I should study."
The other person sat there stunned. He looked at Yi Zhe with an expression of great shock.
Perhaps he really didn't know what to say. After a while, he spit out a curse. "Fuck. Moron."
Unlike in the past, this time, Yi Zhe didn't use his fist to make him shut up. He couldn't move now anyway and also didn't want to fight with him over this. He shot him a look without much feeling and continued to lie there silently.
At this point, the other person finally believed Yi Zhe's words.
Yi Zhe didn't know what this matter would sound like after being passed around those people who had clashed with him in the past. Perhaps, when they gathered together to drink, all of them could bring out the name "Yi Zhe" and mock him and curse him and call him stupid, then laugh together. But he knew that this period of turmoil, this piece of his past that Xu Tangcheng didn't approve of, was truly wiped away now.
If a person wanted to fight, if they wanted to beat someone up, they needed a reason. Today, I seized on something about you that made me feel cross; tomorrow, I look for you to win back respect and vent my anger. It was never-ending. "One smile, and all debts and enmity erased" was not something that existed among high school students. If a person wanted to unilaterally withdraw from this "first you then me" fighting game and put an end to all the past debts and grudges, then they must pay some kind of price—a price that included the blood that shouldn't have to flow out, that included the phrase "that idiot Yi Zhe" coming out from the mouths of others.
T/N:
Yi Zhe's mum's name is written as 向西荑. 荑 can be read as yí or tí. I haven't been able to find any confirmation of which reading is more common for names so I've opted for yí since it rolls off the tongue easier.