Xu Tangcheng divulged not a single word of the conversation with Yi Xun to Yi Zhe. Even though he knew that it was not right to do that, when he saw Yi Zhe trying his best to squeeze his gaze through the gaps between the humans to look for the person who was already lining up for the security check, he still chose to conceal the matter.

The affection Yi Zhe had for his younger brother probably occupied the softest spot in his heart. For so many years, he had protected and looked after it carefully. If he was only putting in his time and effort without expecting anything, that was fine; but it was obvious that Yi Zhe was hopeful and had also always thought that the other person felt the same way. Otherwise, he wouldn't have always travelled so far to see them during his holidays.

The "sacrifice" in the past, the concern in the present—even that portion of pan-fried buns that he had specifically came to ask Xu Tangcheng for the place to get them—all these came from his love that held nothing back. And at the bottom of this love was a most precious heart.

Yi Xun did not know this but Xu Tangcheng treasured it. He wanted to protect that young man in his memories that was used to being silent, yet was kind and gentle. He couldn't bear to let him experience having the softest part of his heart collapse entirely.

Even if it was something he would have to face sooner or later, at least it wouldn't be now—at least he wouldn't, when he had yet to know the feeling of being loved, also lose the feeling of having loved.

The two of them passed through the large hall, walking shoulder to shoulder. The overly strong warm wind distracted Xu Tangcheng for the moment. He had been looking at the ground the whole time, thinking of some matters that couldn't be settled easily and not paying attention, and an oncoming person collided into him.

The traveller was in a hurry and the collision slowed Xu Tangcheng's steps, sending his body askew. An arm immediately held him steady and pulled him to someone's side, keeping him away from the flow of oncoming people.

"Are you okay?"

It was only when he heard the voice that Xu Tangcheng looked up. Fragmentary words had been swirling around in his belly for a long while, dragged into standing in rows, but before the rows could take shape, the collision seemed to have sent them flying.

Their surroundings were very chaotic. He answered with an "I'm fine," but didn't know if it reached Yi Zhe's ears.

From ahead of them came a girl wearing earphones. When she brushed past him, Xu Tangcheng heard her softly singing a song.

I hope that every dream you have from now on, never ends in emptiness.

He didn't have a very deep impression of this song because it wasn't his favourite among Faye Wong's songs. But the song and the lyrics were good, so he had also listened to it quite a number of times—had listened to this Mortal World being sung so tenderly into existence.

Xu Tangcheng remembered that this song had many lines with "I hope" but among the many beautiful wishes, the one that gave him the deepest impression was the one word "liveliness."

A very ordinary line, but the first time he listened to this song, it shook him to the core and gave him a lot to think about. Until now, he felt that the true meaning of this line was about warmth, because the first time he heard Faye Wong sing this line in a languid voice, he had felt warm all over.

The airport right now was clamorous, but this wasn't the same kind of "liveliness."

Living in this world meant living in this wide and spacious mortal world, this world where there were tens of thousands of different sounds, this world that encompassed everything and yet, most of it had nothing to do with oneself. Unrelated sounds were noise, and also solitude. And when a person viewed another person as their treasure, all of the other person's joy and anger and sorrow would be magnified beyond limit in their own world, regardless of whether the other person were family, a lover or a friend. If the other person was happy or was laughing, they would also be happy with them. If the other person was sad or was crying, they would also become endlessly anxious.

This was the mortal world. It was so very far from the concept of being wide and spacious and filled with the masses.

Thinking of that, Xu Tangcheng suddenly came to a stop. He stared at Yi Zhe's back.

He didn't know what Yi Zhe's "mortal world" was like but he thought that it must be so much quieter than his own.

Yi Zhe turned his head slightly to glance back out of habit. When he didn't see Xu Tangcheng, he immediately stopped too and turned around to look for him. But he saw Xu Tangcheng staring fixedly at him, a few people between them.

He strode over and lowered his head a little to ask, "What's the matter?"

Xu Tangcheng shook his head. "Nothing."

There was heavy fog in Beijing and flights were delayed. They had planned to send Yi Xun off after lunch before returning to campus but unexpectedly, when they drove out of the airport, the sun was already setting in the horizon.

The car had stopped for quite a while, resulting in the temperature inside falling too low. When the car was started up just now, the steering wheel nearly froze Xu Tangcheng. He pressed his palms against the wheel, his fingers curling in and rubbing against each other.

Yi Zhe noticed and asked, "Is it very cold?"

"A little." Xu Tangcheng turned his head and shot him a quick look. "Or it might be because my hands are cold in the first place. It feels like I'm holding a lump of ice now."

Yi Zhe was mulling over how to solve the problem of cold hands when he saw Xu Tangcheng suddenly reach out a hand.

"Feel it for yourself."

The timing was also too coincidental; the nearly-disappearing sun was in front and to the right of them, the last rays spilling with abandon, leaping onto Xu Tangcheng's fingertips.

Yi Zhe looked at the slightly curved fingers and suddenly had a very strange feeling, like it wasn't light that was falling on them but instead, stars that were coming out of those fingertips.

This childish primary-school thought stunned him and he didn't notice the silence he started.

Xu Tangcheng seemed very patient. His other hand held the steering wheel steadily. Throughout the whole time, he kept his eyes looking straight ahead and also did not withdraw the hand that was stretched out.

On the surface, all appeared calm but the wait could not be said to be tranquil. Neither one of them made any sound, like it was a very serious moment where they were cautiously making an attempt to draw closer to one another.

One of Yi Zhe's hands that were laying on his thighs moved, sending Xu Tangcheng's heart jolting. But before the next move could happen, the ringing of a phone suddenly sounded, disturbing the air in the car that had become a little odd.

Xu Tangcheng immediately withdrew his hand, like he had a fright. He lowered his head a little, picked up his phone and put it on speaker before even seeing the caller ID.

On the other end of the call was an entirely different mood. In a noisy environment, Lu Ming asked loudly if Xu Tangcheng was coming back to Beijing yet.

Xu Tangcheng cleared his throat and forced himself to calm down. "Yes, I'm on my way now."

As he spoke on the phone, he was still distractedly thinking of what happened just now.

He admitted that he had purposely done that. Since yesterday, he wanted to put together his words but in the end, he didn't know where to start talking. The wrong choice he had made in the past resulted in him missing the best chance to get closer to him, all that he had done in the past to push him away had become the reason for his current worries. And the more worrying thing was that he didn't know how far Yi Zhe had retreated.

He had never been in a romantic relationship and had also never tried to get close to another person or give them subtle hints for this purpose. His blundering attempt just now was making him aware of the fact that his ears were red even as he talked to Lu Ming on the phone.

Previously, he had avoided him in panic and fluster; now, when the other person had laid down the war flags and stilled the drums, he was starting to make this kind of suggestive gesture. And, on top of that, he hadn't even gotten a response.

It seemed a little presumptuous, and also a little awkward.

"Then, come over and hang out with us. It's Senior Yu An's birthday today."

"I don't think I'll be going…" Xu Tangcheng wasn't in the mood to join any sort of gathering and his kneejerk reaction was to find a reason to refuse. But before he could find a reason, Lu Ming was making a lot of noise and insisting that he had to go over.

"I just came back today and I also went to the airport to send someone off. I'm quite tired…"

Before he could finish speaking, he suddenly stopped. The person on the other end thought that the call had disconnected and called out "Hello?" a few times.

"It really is quite cold."

The hand that covered his own hand on the steering wheel very quickly moved away. It was very dangerous as a driver, but for a moment, Xu Tangcheng's brain blanked out.

He turned his head to look at Yi Zhe but saw that the other person looked the same as always, hand stretched out to press a couple of times on the air-conditioning controls and increase the temperature on the warm wind blowing into the car. Meanwhile, that brief second of warmth on the back of his own hand seemed to linger tenaciously.

Lu Ming probably faintly heard Yi Zhe's words and was right now hollering into the phone and asking Xu Tangcheng what he had said just now.

Warm wind flowed out with a restless whooshing sound, blending into Lu Ming's increasingly louder and faster words.

Trepidation seized his heart, sudden, yet subtle.

Xu Tangcheng gripped the steering wheel with all his strength and made his decision right there and then. All that stuff about which words were appropriate, about the need to put his words in order, he was giving up on them.

"We'll be there," Xu Tangcheng said.

"'We'?" Lu Ming paused, then immediately questioned the subject of that line. "Who are you with?"

"Yi Zhe."

He didn't want to be caught up in this matter anymore so after saying the name, he immediately followed up and said, "We won't be going to the billiards hall. Let me know which restaurant it is. We're on our way back from the airport and we'll just join you guys for the meal."

He made the decision on his own without asking Yi Zhe's opinion and sensed Yi Zhe turning his head to look at him. He pretended not to notice, purposely ignoring him.

After he hung up, Yi Zhe finally said, "I don't think I'll go."

But Xu Tangcheng said, "Why not? I'm guessing that they probably want to drink and might also go for KTV after the meal. Some drinks can't be turned down at a birthday celebration. I'm afraid I'll get drunk."

That was true. Yi Zhe was very well aware of Xu Tangcheng's alcohol tolerance, as well as Xu Tangcheng's state when he was drunk. He had selfish reasons and things that he wanted to hide. Thinking of this, he immediately overlooked the fact that this was Yu An's birthday celebration and felt that he had to go too.

"Mm, then I'll go."

Persuading him was so easy. Surprisingly, this deeper understanding of him made Xu Tangcheng happy.

At an intersection with five branches, the red light was exceptionally long. Ninety seconds, ample time for a person's emotions to go through changes. Those threads of sweetness gradually fell back until nothing remained and immediately after, there was regret and guilt.

The person beside him could be persuaded by just that single line—I'm afraid I'll get drunk—from him. He could notice even that tiny bit of awkwardness he had and wipe it away for him. He was considerate of his feelings in every way. Meanwhile, for a long period of time, he had put this person in such a difficult emotional state, and just a few minutes ago, he had even still been deliberating between right or wrong, between advancing or retreating.

He was afraid that if he told him that he had feelings for him, he wouldn't believe him. He was afraid that he was already no longer thinking about this…

His habitual way of thinking made it such that he would always look at the overall situation when considering a matter. He had never once thrown aside all external factors and only asked himself: Is this how you feel? Is this what you want? Do you like him?

The red light was over but he still wasn't moving. The car behind him honked twice to hurry him and Yi Zhe also called out to him to tell him, "The light's green."

The car moved forward, like it was driving into the setting sun. His eyes watched as the curtain fell on the daylight.

He fretted about the future, he worried about his family. All the questions that he had once considered, that he had once been afraid of, were still murky until today and did not have answers. The difficult question right before him was no different from the one more than a month ago; the only difference was that he now understood something: if even a single touch from him could move his heart, there was no need to talk about restraint and right or wrong.

There are things that you can't stop yourself from doing just because you know they are an accident. All love is borne of a mind that is clear, but being clear-headed doesn't mean that you can't become maddened and possessed.

Even if the road ahead was chaos, it was only by walking through it with him that it would be the mortal world.

As much as they hurried, they still didn't make it in time. The people at the table laid their hands on the two latecomers and started to become even more excited, insisting that they punish themselves by downing three cups of alcohol. Xu Tangcheng had some experience in dealing with this and said laughingly, "It doesn't count when you guys say it, it only counts if the birthday boy says it."

He looked at Yu An across the table and asked, "An-ge, do I need to drink?"

Xu Tangcheng only asked because he knew that Yu An was aware of his alcohol tolerance. In the past, when their lab went out to eat together, Yu An had even helped him explain to the juniors who wanted to drink with him, going to the extent of helping him fend off the drinks. He thought that Yu An would definitely not make him drink but unexpectedly, the birthday boy placed both arms on the table and also smiled at him. "Did you prepare a birthday present for me? If yes, then you don't need to drink."

Xu Tangcheng had only just found out that it was his birthday. How would he have prepared a present?

"No, right?" Yu An naturally guessed it. "In that case…"

"I'll drink."

Yu An had just dragged his words out meaningfully when Yi Zhe interrupted with two words. Without saying anything else, he downed the three cups of alcohol on the table that was prepared for them. He didn't wait for the rest to heckle Xu Tangcheng and immediately said, "It's my fault that we're late. I'll drink for him too."

When he had drunk the first out of these three cups, the people sitting down finally realised what was going on and immediately made a fuss, saying that it wouldn't do. Xu Tangcheng also hurried to stop Yi Zhe's hand that was still reaching out to take the cup, taking the second cup from him.

Yi Zhe twisted his head around to look at him. He thought that Xu Tangcheng would explain by saying that he was driving but unexpectedly, Xu Tangcheng directly brought the cup to his mouth. He started to drink and the others cheered him on but Yi Zhe hurried to stop him.

"Hey," Lu Ming called out to Yi Zhe. "My Cheng-ge is drinking, why are you stopping him?

"He's driving, he can't drink."

"That's okay." Lu Ming clapped. "We'll be going next door to sing later. If you can't walk straight after singing, there are rooms upstairs. Senior already said that he'll spare no expenses treating us today."

Xu Tangcheng had been ignoring Lu Ming's words the whole time. He used his other hand to tug at Yi Zhe's wrist, pulling it away, then threw his head back and downed the other two cups without letting go. The cups were very big. When Xu Tangcheng sat down, he was already starting to feel tipsy and it was only when Yu An called out to him to eat that he realised that he was still holding on to Yi Zhe's wrist.

There was something under his hand, something hard. Xu Tangcheng looked down, his movements rather sluggish. He pulled up Yi Zhe's sleeve and saw the watch he had given him in the past.

As he stared at it, the hand he was holding tried to shrink back into hiding. He pulled on it with force, then lifted his head to look at the person next to him, in the middle of the noisy banquet.

Xu Tangcheng could sense that he was probably a little drunk already. The face of the person before him kept swaying but no matter where it swayed too, that pair of eyes stayed on him the whole time.

The Mona Lisa? He laughed. If so, it was his very own Mona Lisa.

Yi Zhe didn't know what Xu Tangcheng was suddenly laughing at but when Xu Tangcheng laughed, he couldn't help curling his fingers in and accidentally gripping the fingers the other person had put on his palm.

Before he could loosen his grip, before he could withdraw, he was already being pulled into leaning forward.

Xu Tangcheng leaned over, one feet propped on the stretcher joining the legs of the chair, and pulled Yi Zhe's hand to rest on his own knee. He also bent forward, going near Yi Zhe's head to whisper to him.

"We'll probably need to drink more later, and might also need to drink when we go for KTV. If I get drunk, remember to get me out. We won't go back to the dorms, we'll just get a room over here."

Yi Zhe nodded. He pressed his lips together, hesitated for a few seconds, and then asked, "Can we don't stay at the hotel that he's paying for?"

"Of course," Xu Tangcheng said quickly. "We can stay wherever you want."

"Okay."

In a rare occasion, Xu Tangcheng thought of a very practical question at a time like this. He tugged on Yi Zhe's hand and shook it a bit. "Did you bring money?"

Were it not for that shake, Yi Zhe would have nearly forgotten that his hand was still being gripped by Xu Tangcheng in public. Or rather, he himself had also forgotten to release him.

Fortunately, the table cloth covered everything and the people at the table were also busy joking around and teasing each other so no one noticed them.

"I did."

Yi Zhe lowered his eyes to look at where the two of them were holding each other, then watched as he slowly let go of the hand holding his own.

Xu Tangcheng noticed that and immediately took hold of Yi Zhe's hand with both hands, not allowing him to move away. He put both his thumbs in Yi Zhe's palm, then slowly pushed them outwards along his palm lines, stroking all the way to the edge of his palm. Yi Zhe froze slightly, his eyes following the movements of Xu Tangcheng's fingers.

It felt a little like being outdoors during spring, when the fluffy willow catkins brushed against his slightly dry skin.

Xu Tangcheng kept repeating this movement and the two of them sat there as though immobile. After quite a while, Yi Zhe finally heard him speak, saying that something looked good. He didn't hear clearly whether Xu Tangcheng was talking about his hand or the watch, so he moved his head closer and asked, "Sorry?"

But the person who was laughing the whole time did not answer and instead, suddenly came even closer to him and said, "Find me a hotel that's clean."

Yi Zhe felt that Xu Tangcheng was a little different from usual tonight. He noticed that he couldn't understand what Xu Tangcheng was thinking, nor could he understand the laughter in those eyes. He guessed, maybe the alcohol had created a barrier that was blocking him from reading Xu Tangcheng's data?

But he also felt that that wasn't the reason. The last time Xu Tangcheng was drunk, it was so easy to understand him.

Without waiting for Yi Zhe to think it through, Xu Tangcheng was already letting go of his hand and turning his body back. He picked up a stewed eggplant with his chopsticks and put it on Yi Zhe's plate.