In Xu Tangcheng's eyes, Yi Zhe seemed to really rapidly return to his former state. He no longer looked for Xu Tangcheng frequently but when the two of them occasionally met, he would say the right kind of words and show the right amount of concern. Sometimes, when Xu Tangcheng headed out, he could see that the opposite door was wide open and Yi Zhe was again looking everywhere for his key. He would go over and tease him a bit, and Yi Zhe would smile at him in embarrassment, saying that there was nothing he could do, he just could not fix this bad habit of his.

Everything was just like before. It all gave Xu Tangcheng a vaguely dazed feeling, as though that period of confusion and helplessness before the holidays, of being trapped in a dilemma, were nothing more than a hazy dream he had when he was not yet fully awake.

But every time it was late in the night, when he woke up all of a sudden due to various reasons, while his mind was fuzzy and befuddled, he would again see that pair of eyes—still having that same stunned and bewildered look, looking fixedly at him across the brightness in the middle of the raucous din of voices.

The owner of that pair of eyes was clearly not expressing anything, yet in Xu Tangcheng's heart, it seemed to be a silent accusation.

Every time he watched the scene play out until this point, he would be unable to let what happened that night continue to unfold in the theatre of his mind. Yi Zhe's apology, his leaving, and even the snow falling heavily and melting away, they all gradually became memories he dared not recall.

Because of the guilt in his heart, the scene came to a sudden stop every time. All that remained was the warm yellow glow of the lights, and the person sitting on his own, separated from the rest.

Entangled in thoughts, unable to sleep. He never thought that the phrase "could not bear to" would feel like it was squeezing his heart and cutting him to the bone.

Xu Tangcheng always sported a pair of large and dark undereye circles as he swayed and tottered around the house. It made Zhou Hui think that he was again researching some kind of money-making scheme.

"Did your stocks fall again?"

Xu Tangcheng was puzzled by Zhou Hui's question. "No?"

"I thought that you’re again looking at stocks the whole day and not sleeping. Don't be so reckless again, okay? We have enough money now. Don't get obsessed with money."

When Xu Tangcheng just entered university, Xu Yueliang underwent a surgery while Xu Tangxi coincidentally switched to an imported medicine. Their household finances were suddenly rather tight. While it wasn't so bad that their daily life was affected, Xu Tangcheng was used to being prepared against disasters. On top of that, he had decided on the research route for himself and knew that he still had a long way to go before he could formally start earning money, so he started mulling over how to do some kind of side job. He felt that he couldn't earn much from odd jobs and he also needed to take care of his studies so he wouldn't usually have a lot of time to spend off-campus. After considering many ideas, at that time, he thought of buying stocks.

Thinking about it now, he had really been fearless back then. With 10,000 yuan in total as his capital, he had dared to invest them all in this kind of risky way. It was probably because he was still young then, so he had thought of it in a simple and direct manner. But he had also strived desperately then. It was not easy for an outsider to speculate in stocks. For the sake of working on those things, he frequently did not sleep for entire nights while looking at data and doing analyses. Even though the result was good in the end, the way he threw his life into it had given Zhou Hui a real scare.

"Where did this come from?" Xu Tangcheng held a piece of bread in his mouth, struck speechless by Zhou Hui's words. He suddenly felt like he was living in two different worlds—one was the present, the reality where he was having a mismatched conversation with Zhou Hui; the other a secret one that belonged only to him and Yi Zhe.

But the light in that secret world was faint and weak, and he was confined to where he was. He could not touch the other person and gradually, it seemed like he would also lose sight of him.

The Lunar New Year Eve this year was no different from the past years. As usual, the lights in Yi Zhe's house were dark. When Xu Tangcheng came back from dinner at his uncle's, he told Xu Tangxi to go up first while he crouched downstairs and smoked a few cigarettes. At that time, Yi Zhe sent him a "Happy New Year." He looked at it for a long while before sending the exact same words back to him.

When he lifted his head again, the sky above him was already full of colourful fireworks.

It was clearly a gorgeous, dazzling sight, but it drew out a feeling of disappointment in him for no reason. He watched as sphere after sphere of fireworks burst into light amidst the darkness, whistling as they shot up and broke through the sky. Here and there, colourful explosions vied to be the most radiant, set off against a backdrop of bright and joyous exclamations. It all seemed to be telling him that no matter who was going through what kind of story, the new year would still be full of noise and excitement.

The world was so large, containing so many things and emotions. Time was eternally moving forward at a regular pace, cycling through the festive occasions one after another. It would never care which light was bright and which one had gone out. Who had gone where and what feelings they carried in their heart was also something that would never have any impact on this lively atmosphere.

In summary, you are an indispensable existence to your loved ones but to the space of the entire world, you are nothing more than one particle of dust that could not be any more ordinary. Alive or dead, happy or angry—it is all truly insignificant.

The colours of the fireworks disappeared in the depths of his eyes. Just like that, a scary hypothesis took shape.

Xu Tangcheng turned his head up and blinked. All of a sudden, he was thinking: What if there was someone who had never met that indispensable existence?

The stabbing itch in his throat was difficult to bear. He held the cigarette between his fingers and coughed for a long time. When he calmed down, he finally realised that he had been smoking a little too heavily recently.

Xu Tangxi was obsessed with baking during this holiday period. She frequently went to her schoolmate's house to tinker around and would sometimes also very excitedly bring home some cookies or a small cake for Xu Tangcheng and the others to try. Seeing how much she liked making these things, Xu Tangcheng quietly calculated the money he had on hand, took some out, and bought a decent oven for the home. Because of that, Zhou Hui scolded him for a long while, saying that they would only use the oven a few times and that having a microwave was already enough. Xu Tangcheng smiled and picked up the manual, explaining one by one to her what an oven could do that a microwave could not.

He puffed up the oven like it was the most awesome thing ever but Zhou Hui absolutely did not take his word for it. "Enough. Do you think I don't know her? Today she likes this thing, tomorrow she'll like that thing. When has it ever lasted more than ten minutes? It would already be good if she uses this oven more than five times."

At the side, Xu Tangxi naturally refused to take it lying down. "Impossible. I've already learned a lot from my friend. I'll bake cookies for all of you tomorrow."

Zhou Hui asserted that she would not be able to bake them. Meanwhile, Xu Yueliang who was watching the news at the side, chuckled and said that he was waiting to try them.

Xu Tangxi made a resolve so Xu Tangcheng naturally had to bring her out to buy the ingredients. The two of them went out after lunch and bumped into Yi Zhe who was coming up the stairs two steps at a time.

Seeing the expression on the face of the person coming up, Xu Tangcheng was a little stunned. "What’s making you so happy?"

Both of Yi Zhe's hands were in his pockets. He took another step up, coming closer to them, before saying, "Yi Xun's coming over."

"Yi Xun?" Xu Tangxi repeated doubtfully.

Yi Zhe's father and younger brother had moved away for so many years and had never come back. Hence, to Xu Tangxi, the name Yi Xun had long since turned very blurry. Meanwhile, at the side, Xu Tangcheng was initially infected by Yi Zhe's joy but right after that, he was a little curious as to why Yi Xun would suddenly come here.

But seeing how the corners of Yi Zhe's lips kept turning up slightly, he didn't say anything. He thought that as long as Yi Zhe was happy, it was good.

But Yi Zhe seemed to understand his misgivings by looking at him and briefly explained, "He’s going to Beijing for a concert so I asked him if he wanted to come back here for a visit. He said he'll come after the concert and will also stay for a few days."

Listening to them speak, Xu Tangxi also recalled who Yi Xun was. Speaking of which, she had frequently played with Yi Xun when she was young. After all, Yi Xun had still been a child who didn't know anything when they moved away. He didn't have Yi Zhe's sensitivity, nor did he have that low self-esteem or withdrawal into himself due to his family circumstances. Naturally, he also wouldn't know what it meant to maintain a distance. He loved going to Xu Tangcheng's house, saying that Auntie Zhou Hui's cooking was delicious, that Tangxi-jie had many storybooks, that Tangcheng-ge would take him to play games, and that they were all very nice to him.

"Where are you guys going?" Yi Zhe asked.

"We're buying ingredients to make cookies." Xu Tangxi laughed, then suddenly thought of something and said quickly, "Yi Zhe-ge, when I'm done baking them I'll send some over to you. It's just nice, when Yi Xun's here, I can make very good ones for you guys."

Yi Zhe nodded in agreement. Then, he stood aside, wanting to let them pass first. But when Xu Tangcheng passed by him, he stopped and looked at him, then said, "If you don't have anything on, why don't you join us for a walk?"

When he said those words, Xu Tangcheng's heart was apprehensive. In the past, he had always thought that he understood Yi Zhe very well. What decision he would make, whether or not he would agree to something, Xu Tangcheng had a very good grasp of it and had never guessed wrong. But after what happened previously, he was no longer so certain.

Because regardless of whether Yi Zhe was willing to go out with them or not, he had ample reasons for both.

And then, Yi Zhe did not give him much time to be apprehensive. He very quickly nodded. "Okay."

Yi Zhe followed behind Xu Tangcheng to go down. He thought that up until that point, his performance was commendable.

In the past few days of vacation, he had thought a lot on his own. The main subject of his thoughts was what kind of attitude he should use to face Xu Tangcheng. What he should say to him, what he should not say to him, what he should do, what he should not do—all these questions have long since gone through his mind numerous times. In the end, as though he had figured something out, he came up with a very useful conclusion: how well he treated him outwardly should be a little weaker than how well he truly wanted to treat him in reality.

Xiang Xiyi had not returned in the past few days and he had been alone at home the whole time. When he couldn't sleep at night, he would turn on the T.V. and just watch whatever was on. During this time, the drama channel would always be broadcasting some kind of dubbed foreign series. Most of them were Japanese or Korean family dramas, long-winded and tedious, the kind that had at least fifty episodes. Yi Zhe had nothing to do so he would just let the people in the T.V. shout and talk as much as they wanted.

It was during such a night that he came up with that guiding principle for interacting with Xu Tangcheng. Coincidentally, barely two minutes after he reached this conclusion, he heard from the T.V. a middle-aged woman with hair permed in the style typical to mothers say, "Self-restraint is the first step to growing up."

This line sounded grand and pompous, but to Yi Zhe, it was like he had been hit with an iron hammer. A vague and pointless line; yet, when you have personally experienced it, you would have your own interpretation. He felt that this line made quite a lot of sense. He should have considered carefully much earlier what were the things that could not be touched.

On the screen, the female lead shouted herself hoarse in the heavy rain, "You don't understand me at all."

Amidst the flickering light, Yi Zhe felt that it was rather ridiculous. To think that he would actually pick up the two words "growing up" from a soap opera like this.

But this was just how things were sometimes. A person or a matter, or even a logic; it is only after you notice them that you realise that you have always been encountering them by chance in your life. It was just that in the past, you never noticed that there was someone wearing green and even if the two of you have brushed past each other countless times, you have never spared them the least bit of your attention.

In the end, Xu Tangxi's cookies were not successfully baked. In the kitchen suffused with a faint delicious smell, Xu Tangcheng looked at the soft lumps and very cautiously said, "Are you sure… that this is how you make cookies?"

Xu Tangxi held up her hands that were covered in the flour and butter mixture, saying hesitantly, "Mm… I don't think I did it wrong…"

The brother and sister looked at one another. Even after a long while, neither could say anything.

These unidentifiable lumps were roundly ridiculed by Zhou Hui, angering Xu Tangxi so much that she took a baking guide and went to Xu Tangcheng's room to study it that night, saying that she must succeed tomorrow to prove that she could do it. She read it, studied it, and then fell asleep. Xu Tangcheng carried her back to her room and laid her down on the bed. Even with her eyes closed, she still kept muttering, "Ge, help me make them."

"I'll help you." Xu Tangcheng held back his laughter and said softly, "Sleep."

He switched the lights off for her and closed the door. After returning to his room, he faced the baking guide and his computer and researched for a while. The next day, he successfully baked the cookies.

Xu Tangxi carried a small plate and scampered over to Zhou Hui and Xu Yueliang's room, noisily demanding that they try the taste of success. Meanwhile, Xu Tangcheng looked at the pile of cookies and spent some time pondering. Then, he put some on a plate and took them over to Yi Zhe.

But unexpectedly, no one answered after he knocked on the door for a long while. He made a call to ask and only then found out that Yi Xun had come over, and that they were both hanging out outside.

"He's here already?" Xu Tangcheng carried the cookies back. After he went into his room, he thought for a while and said, "Then, if you guys have the time, why don't you come over for a meal? I mentioned this to my mum a while back and she said that she had not seen Yi Xun for too long, and that he is probably all grown up now, she won't recognise him anymore."

The person on the other end of the call seemed to hesitate for a couple of seconds, then said, "Let me ask him."

After ending the call, Xu Tangcheng looked at the plate of cookies for a long while, feeling more at ease now. He picked up the ugliest one and put it in his mouth, then sat on his chair and slowly chewed it.

Even though it wasn't very successful, the taste and texture was still passable.

A small feeling of accomplishment, yet it could not cover the even larger feeling of disappointment.

He had been planning it for a few days but when it came to the time to extend the invitation, he actually forgot to say, "It's Lunar New Year, I want to ask you over for a meal."

Yi Xun had indeed grown up to be halfway to an adult. And that was why Xu Tangcheng had no choice but to respect and admire this thing called "genes"; Yi Xun had yet to enter senior high but was already taller than him. Xu Yueliang and Zhou Hui both gasped in admiration at how well the two kids from the Yi family had grown up. Standing beside these two tall people, Xu Tangcheng suddenly felt that he no longer had the prestige of an elder brother and instead, had a feeling of "time hurrying a person to old age."

Zhou Hui had been quite fond of Yi Xun in the past. At the very beginning, her heart ached over the little child who couldn't eat well at home, so she always asked him and Yi Zhe to come over to her place to eat. Compared to the silent Yi Zhe, Yi Xun was much more of a sweet talker. He always said the food was delicious and like a blackhole, he ate everything no matter how much he was given. To Zhou Hui who put her family in the center of her life, nothing made her happier than having a child who didn't know how to lie validate her cooking skills.

When Yi Xun came over, he also brought quite a lot of gifts. Xu Tangcheng unintentionally swept his eyes past them and was rather shocked for a moment. He glanced at Yi Zhe and noticed that he was also looking at himself.

Zhou Hui had cooked up a whole table's worth of dishes, and had even purposely made the sweet and sour pork ribs that Yi Xun loved to eat when he was young. When arranging the dishes on the table, she kept saying single-mindedly that she had cooked a lot today and that Yi Xun and Yi Zhe should eat more. Xu Tangcheng went to the kitchen to get the bowls and chopsticks. Before he went in, he signalled with his eyes to Yi Zhe who was sitting on the sofa. Yi Zhe immediately stood up and followed him into the kitchen.

There was no one around them now. Only then did Xu Tangcheng ask softly, "Why did Yi Xun buy such expensive things?"

When he saw those shopping bags just now, he was really quite surprised. Those few items were all quite costly. Just looking at the brands, they all belonged to the type that Xu Tangcheng would usually not even look at. Zhou Hui and Xu Yueliang didn't know these brands; even though they had kept saying that there was no need for Yi Xun to buy them things, Yi Xun had said repeatedly that those things were just to express his regards, so they had accepted them in the end.

Xu Tangcheng couldn't say anything at that time but no matter how he thought about it, he felt that it was inappropriate.

Yi Zhe didn't know how to explain it. In reality, Yi Xun's standards when it came to food and clothes had always been like this. But he didn't want to tell Xu Tangcheng this because he, too, felt that the way Yi Xun spent his money was very strange. No matter what it was, he seemed to only buy the most expensive one. When he went shopping with him, whenever Yi Xun saw something that he liked, he would get it without even asking the price. The way he spent money seemed a little too extravagant.

"He probably just thinks that… he has not met you guys for too long, so he wanted to give some nicer gifts." Going against his conscience, Yi Zhe told a lie.

Xu Tangcheng held the chopsticks and frowned, thinking of something.

Seeing that Xu Tangcheng was no longer speaking, Yi Zhe also didn't want to continue the topic. He picked up a stack of bowls and wanted to go out when Xu Tangcheng called out to him from behind and asked, "Where have you guys been staying for the past couple of days? I didn't see you guys at your place."

His steps came to a pause. After a brief silence, Yi Zhe let out a mm.

"At Xing Kai."

Xing Kai could be considered the most luxurious hotel in their area, the type that was not for the masses to stay in. When he mentioned it, as before, Yi Zhe was rather discomfited. He had known that Yi Xun probably wouldn't want to stay at home so he had picked a hotel beforehand. But who would have known that when Yi Xun and him were in the cab, Yi Xun had just looked at the place through the cab window and said that it was too lousy, and told the cab driver to go to the best hotel in the city.

The way Xiang Xiyi had raised Yi Zhe for the past few years was to give him money once every three months. She was too lazy to even transfer the money and would just directly throw a wad of cash at him and consider it done. Yi Zhe's spending was very little, he only used a small portion of the money and threw the remaining amount into a drawer.

There were many areas where Yi Zhe's principles were so strong that it was scary. Xing Kai's rates were not really unaffordable for him but he thought that there was absolutely no need to spend so much of Xiang Xiyi's money to stay in a hotel like this.

His younger brother came to visit him, and his younger brother also paid for his own accommodation. Even if Yi Zhe didn't like playing by the rules of social niceties, he felt that this was really awkward and embarrassing.

Xu Tangcheng sensed that Yi Zhe didn't want to talk much about this matter so he immediately changed the topic, putting an end to his questions about Yi Xun. At that time, he hadn't thought too much about it. He only felt that Yi Xun had been spoiled by his father and didn't know how to control himself when it came to spending money.

He never would have thought that in just a short period of a few days, his impression of that little brother in his memories would be completely overturned.