This winter vacation was too different from ones in the past. When he was sitting in Xu Tangcheng's car and looking out at the wide and empty highway, Yi Zhe was still shrouded in a feeling of unreality.

When Xu Tangcheng knocked on the door in the morning and asked him to join them for a movie, Yi Zhe thought they would be watching the movie at the small cinema nearby. Unexpectedly, when he got downstairs, Xu Tangcheng said to him, "The viewing experience there isn't very good. We're going to Beijing to watch the movie. I bought tickets for this afternoon's showing. We'll go over now, have lunch when we get there, then come back after the movie."

"Huh?" Yi Zhe was surprised.

"Yeap, let my brother treat us to a big meal. Yi Zhe-ge, just order anything you want to eat, don't go easy on him."

Xu Tangxi was wearing a pink-coloured down jacket and leaping about spiritedly. But very quickly, next to her, Xu Tangcheng caught her shoulder to keep her still. "Don't jump around."

His home was so near Beijing, yet Yi Zhe had never been there.

The car sped on its way. There was a humming sound in Yi Zhe's ears. He looked out through the window but all he could see was the guardrails flying past unceasingly and the occasional passing car.

"Are we going to the same place as last time?" Xu Tangxi asked.

"You still want to go shopping? Next to him, Xu Tangcheng glanced at the rearview mirror and said, "If you want to shop, we'll go to the same place as last time. If you don't, I'll take you guys to a newly-opened one. It's near my university. I've been there once, the seats are very comfortable and the sound system and whatnot are also better than the other one."

When they got into the car just now, Xu Tangxi didn't want to sit in front. Hence, the one sitting beside Xu Tangcheng right now was Yi Zhe.

When Xu Tangcheng finished speaking, he turned his head to ask Yi Zhe for his opinion. "Which one do you want to go to?"

"I'm fine with either."

That was what he said, but Yi Zhe waited rather nervously for Xu Tangxi's answer. To him, the two words "my university" already decided his real answer.

"Then, let's go to the new one."

Yi Zhe's hands that were twisted together in a tight grip loosened. Secretly, the corners of his lips curved up.

The car entered the city. There were more and more tall buildings. Yi Zhe tilted his head up and looked at the names on every passing skyscraper. He felt that Beijing looked exactly like he had imagined it.

The car stopped in front of a Yunnanese restaurant. Xu Tangcheng dropped Yi Zhe and Xu Tangxi at the entrance while he went to look for a parking space. When they got down, Xu Tangxi looked around her and pointed to the side, "Yi Zhe-ge, look, my brother's university is right there."

Yi Zhe looked in the direction her finger was pointing. Across the road, he saw a few buildings at the perimeter wall. Some were tall, some were short, and all were scattered around randomly.

He didn't withdraw his gaze, yet one of his hands was already opening the door for Xu Tangxi.

Before entering, Xu Tangxi asked him. "By the way, Yi Zhe-ge, which university are you planning to apply to?"

"I haven't decided yet." Yi Zhe looked at her, then looked again at the campus in front of them.

Today was the eighth day of the first lunar month, the first business day in the traditional calendar. Yet, the restaurant was still packed. Under the guidance of the server, they walked a winding path to a booth.

The cutlery used by the previous customers had yet to be cleared away. The server first handed the menu to them, then apologetically asked them to wait a while. There was a steady stream of people coming in and going out. Yi Zhe stood on Xu Tangxi's left side, keeping her separated in a quieter corner.

They had barely flipped through a few pages in the menu when Xu Tangcheng came. The server had also cleared the table so the three of them took their seats. Xu Tangcheng pulled some napkins to wipe the table again.

"Ge, I want to eat the mushrooms we had previously. Why can't I find it?"

Xu Tangcheng reached out a hand and flipped the pages in the menu to the end, pointing with his finger crooked. "It's here."

Their table was near the window. Xu Tangcheng lifted his head, wanting to ask Yi Zhe what he wanted to eat but he saw him staring constantly out the window.

"Yi Zhe?" Xu Tangcheng called out to him. "Have a look and see what you want to eat."

"I'm fine with anything," Yi Zhe replied very quickly. "Why don't you guys order? I don't know how."

"Don't say that." Xu Tangcheng turned the menu around and turned the pages one by one for him. "This chicken wing dish is not bad, this prawn dish is also quite good. You pick."

"I'm really fine with anything, Tangcheng-ge. Why don't you guys order what looks good to you?"

Listening to the two of them, Xu Tangxi said jokingly, "Yi Zhe-ge, just pick the expensive ones."

Yi Zhe smiled at her. He shifted his body, looking rather like he couldn't sit still.

After they picked a few dishes, he finally said, "I'm going to the washroom, you guys order."

Under Xu Tangcheng's gaze, he stood up. He had just stepped out of the booth when he suddenly came over to Xu Tangcheng's side and bent down to whisper to him. "I… might take some time."

His voice was very soft. Only Xu Tangcheng could hear him. Xu Tangcheng broke out into a smile at once and waved him off. "Got it, go ahead."

Yi Zhe left very hurriedly. Xu Tangcheng turned around to watch him leave, the smile never leaving his face.

Yi Zhe ran at the speed of a 100-meter dash. Even during the fights in his past, he had never been so stimulated. The server standing at the entrance saw how desperate he looked and was frightened into moving out of the way at once.

Throughout the entire way there, he flew past the people stopping and waiting, and startled the birds resting on the bare branches. He breathed out white puffs of air as he climbed the pedestrian bridge. Crossing the bridge, he glanced down; at his intense running speed, even the cars under the bridge turned into blurry images.

When he finally reached the university's main entrance, he came to a stop, panting for breath. He looked up and gazed at the large letters above the school gate.

There were people taking photos and people walking in and out with nothing unusual in their expressions. Behind him, there was even the voice of a tour guide amplified by a loudspeaker. "This is University A…"

This was University A.

This was Xu Tangcheng's university.

His chest started to ache faintly from his overly intense running. And what the pain made him feel was that all this was real.

When he returned to the restaurant, there were already three drinks on the table.

Xu Tangcheng saw that he was a little out of breath and thought it strange. Why would he be panting just from going to the washroom? Then, recalling the chill he had felt when Yi Zhe passed by him just now, he peered at him and asked curiously, "Where was the washroom you went to?"

Yi Zhe was desperately trying to restrain his fierce breathing. Hearing this question, he hastily steadied himself.

"Right over there." He raised his hand and pointed in a direction. He cleared his rather hoarse throat and forced himself to appear calm. "There were a lot of people in the line."

Xu Tangcheng turned around to look and felt even more curious.

"But…" He turned behind him and pointed in another direction. "The washroom is over there."

Yi Zhe was instantly dumbstruck.

"Oh, that's right." Yi Zhe stammered. "I-I have a bad sense of direction."

A terribly clumsy excuse that had not even gone through his brain but he threw it out just like that. After saying it, he had an impulsive urge to bite off his tongue and end his life right there.

Who would lose their way going to the washroom in a restaurant?

As he expected, the two people opposite him were stunned.

Xu Tangxi was the first to break out laughing. Even though she immediately felt that it was rude of her and hastily tried to stifle herself, she obviously failed to. She covered her mouth to hold back her laughter. "Yi Zhe-ge, so your sense of direction is even worse than mine. In that case, I'm relieved now. I was worried that you would think I'm dumb for losing my way the other day."

Yi Zhe said nothing. He faced her awkwardly and quirked his lips, then lowered his head and took the drink nearest to him.

"Ai, wait a minute." Xu Tangcheng was not done laughing yet but he still found the time to speak. He pushed the drink near him over to Yi Zhe too, his eyes curved into a smile as he said, "See which of these two you prefer. They're pomegranate and mango."

"This one is fine."

How could he still be bothered to pick a flavour? Yi Zhe threw out that line and downed half his glass in a fluster. The cool liquid slid down into his belly and he finally managed to calm himself down.

The movie they watched that day was CJ7. But in actual fact, what they watched didn't seem to be something very important.

Yi Zhe didn't have a very deep impression of what happened in the movie. Throughout the whole thing, the scene that played non-stop in his mind was the main entrance of University A, the various school buildings, the many small streets, and also the few statues he had seen. Occasionally, he would furtively turn his head around, his eyes skipping over Xu Tangxi to look at the person who was focusing on the movie. The cinema hall seemed to have a kind of mysterious power; before his eyes, the lights flickered and changed, yet he seemed to be watching a movie that belonged only to him. It was a silent film and in it, Xu Tangcheng was the only character—he was cycling, he was walking, he was carrying his school bag on his back, he was holding a textbook—Yi Zhe saw him doing hundreds and thousands of different actions. They were clearly entirely his own imagination, yet so real that it was as though he had seen them with his own eyes, as though he had seen how Xu Tangcheng lived in a campus like that.

And when the movie arrived at its final frame, what he saw was Xu Tangcheng sitting on the bed in his dorm, taking off his clothes…

The large screen flashed and flickered. Amidst the changing lights and shifting shadows, Yi Zhe felt as though his entire body was empty and insubstantial, like he was floating in midair and there was nothing he could hold on to. The darkness let his soul finally break free from his physical body, and what his soul perceived was not the packed cinema hall but an all-encompassing softness.

His rational mind told him that he should stop at this scene but there was also a demented voice roaring at him, enticing him, asking him: Don't you want to continue watching?

He was flustered and helpless, unable to make a choice. Yet, the Xu Tangcheng in that movie still paused his movements. He sat on the bed and suddenly turned towards the camera, meeting his eyes.

The movie was over. The lights brightened.

Yi Zhe's forehead was covered in cold sweat.

That camera was just like his eyes peeping on him. The moment Xu Tangcheng saw him, all his vulgar and filthy thoughts were laid open under the blazing sun.

His heart thundered.

The blinding light pierced his eyes. Walking on the soft carpet, he experienced a long period of confusion and distraction.

What was he doing just now? Why had he ran so crazily to see his university?

Xu Tangcheng and Xu Tangxi were walking in front of him. Yi Zhe looked at his back, his breathing in a mess. He could clearly sense his own abnormal state. All those preposterous thoughts just now was making him come to an understanding that was scaring him witless—the understanding of what exactly were the thoughts and intentions he carried in his heart when he got closer to that person.

He slowed down his steps, wanting to put some distance between them, as though it was only by doing so that he would finally have some space to take in some urgently needed oxygen.

Meanwhile, in front of him, Xu Tangcheng seemed to sense him falling behind. He came to a sudden stop and turned to look at Yi Zhe.

"Why so slow?"

Xu Tangcheng smiled at him and waited for him to walk over before continuing to walk ahead, shoulder to shoulder with him.

They had to turn the corner and the cinema hall exit was also dark. The two of them were too close to each other. A small child squeezed past beside them; to dodge the child, Xu Tangcheng leaned closer to Yi Zhe.

Their bodies touched. He lost the battle completely.

Yi Zhe closed his eyes, despairing.

If getting closer to him was dangerous, then let it be dangerous. He only needed to never let him know.