The state in which they returned that night was a tragic one—Cheng Xu vomited the entire way.

When they left the club, Zheng Yikun wanted to carry Cheng Xu to a nearby hotel for the night but Xu Tangcheng didn't allow it and wanted to take Cheng Xu away himself. At the side, Cheng Xu seemed to understand what they were discussing and started to fuss about wanting to go back to the dorm, and that he even wanted to ride in the car to go back. He clung to the car door, refusing to let go. Xu Tangcheng had no choice but to get him into the car and sat with him in the backseat.

Carsickness was not something that would change with a person's intoxication. Throughout the journey, Yi Zhe kept stopping the car and every time, Cheng Xu got down—doubled over and held up by Xu Tangcheng—vomited, and then staggered back into the car.

At the start, Zheng Yikun didn't say anything. When Cheng Xu crouched down and vomited, he patted Cheng Xu's back softly, watching with his brows furrowed. But after a few repetitions, Zheng Yikun's expression became increasingly unpleasant. Finally, he could not bear it anymore. He pulled Cheng Xu's arm, wanting to take him away.

Cheng Xu was no longer sticking to him like he had earlier. When Zheng Yikun came to pull him away, Cheng Xu moved wildly, shaking his arm off with all his might, and then hiding behind Xu Tangcheng. Zheng Yikun gaze steadily at Cheng Xu's evasive eyes. After a while, he brought a cigarette between his fingers up to his mouth and held it between his lips. He didn't speak anymore.

By the time they were nearly reaching the campus, Cheng Xu had already vomited until he had nothing left to vomit. All he had left in him was to lean against Xu Tangcheng and sniff.

The car window was opened wide, and the noise was also louder. Cheng Xu said something but Xu Tangcheng didn't hear him clearly; he asked, but the person on his shoulder had already closed his eyes. He continued asking a couple of times; as before, he received no response. But when he looked up, he locked eyes with Zheng Yikun who was looking back right then.

Because of what happened earlier, up to this moment, Xu Tangcheng's opinion of Zheng Yikun's attitude was still a mess. He could not easily determine whether Zheng Yikun was good or bad, so when their eyes met at this moment, he did not look away nor did he make any kind of movement or expression.

On the other hand, Zheng Yikun lifted the corners of his mouth at him, looking as though he didn't have a care in the world.

No one expected to encounter Fu Daiqing at the bottom of the dorm building.

Cheng Xu had severe myopia. It was late in the night and he wasn't wearing his glasses, yet with just one look, he could recognise the person who was standing not far away. Unlike just now, Cheng Xu didn't cry or make a fuss. As Fu Daiqing walked quickly towards him, he only looked at the other man in a daze, waiting quietly.

But Xu Tangcheng kept his arm around Cheng Xu the entire time and the two of them were very near, so he could clearly see the sign of tears at the bottom of Cheng Xu's eyes gradually becoming more distinct.

"Where did you run off to? You're back so late." Fu Daiqing's brows were tightly knitted and his words were very urgent. "I've been calling you for a long while but no one picked up. Auntie is really worried, she keeps calling me."

He said so much but Cheng Xu seemed to not hear him. He was still staring at the person before him in a stupor, like a meditating monk.

"Cheng Xu." Seeing that he was not responding, Fu Daiqing called out to him, then sighed and asked again, "Why didn't you pick up the whole time?"

"Why…"

Cheng Xu suddenly repeated that word from Fu Daiqing in a mumble, the word fading into nothing.

His tears broke free of the cage at the bottom of his eyes but stayed suspended right at the rim, yet to fall. Cheng Xu also didn't understand why—he was just watching the other man walk towards him, why was he crying because of that?

Startled, Fu Daiqing bent down slightly, lowering his body to look at Cheng Xu.

The hours before dawn. Those asleep had yet to wake and unreal dreams still dominated the world. The moon still had its halo, the streetlights sparse. Only two were bright and apart from them, other than the spark at the end of the cigarette that brightened and dimmed irregularly, there was no other illumination in this pitch darkness.

Five people stood at the bottom of the building, each shadow longer than the last. Cheng Xu's head was lowered but he saw one shadow curving, just nicely touching another shadow.

"Why are you already getting married…"

Those words were very weak, very soft. Scattered into the darkness of the night, they were more like a sleeper's mumbles, yet they sounded choked with emotions. The last word was only half-spoken when tears stopped it in its tracks, like a traffic congestion, suddenly changing the speaker's emotional state.

"Didn't you guys just, knew each other, for two months…" Cheng Xu brought a hand up but did not put it on Fu Daiqing's body and instead, gripped the arm Xu Tangcheng had around his waist tightly, like he was using all the strength in his body to hold himself up. "I've known you for twenty years… I've liked you for so long…"

Cheng Xu had always been introverted and could not even say the word "like" when ordering food, let alone this kind of frank and tearful accusation. But after saying that, the words that followed could no longer be stopped.

"When you buy me a drink, it could make me happy for so long. When you praise me one time, it could also make me happy for a long time… When I graduated from senior high, I was the only one in my class who applied to a university in Beijing. Because you were in Beijing… Even though I knew that you didn't like me, that there was no chance for us, I could still like you in secret. But, but after you get married, when you have a wife, I can't do that anymore. I can't even like you in secret anymore…"

Those few lines were said in broken starts and stops. Xu Tangcheng could increasingly feel the person in his arms shaking uncontrollably—nothing at all like the "I'm fine" that the person had once told him. With every word that Cheng Xu spoke, the hand Xu Tangcheng placed on his waist couldn't help tightening a little more and at the end, he even wanted to hold Cheng Xu and tell him: Let's not say anymore, let's go back and sleep.

He didn't know what percentage of Cheng Xu's mind had sobered up at this moment or if he was still in a completely inebriated state. But he knew that if it was the former, then Cheng Xu must have already reached the stage of collapse. A person who was reticent on matters of the heart would only tell the person they like about their affections under two circumstances: first, they were too happy, like they were sucking on a very sweet candy; second, they were in too much despair, and every "like" they said was a direct stab to their own heart. Cheng Xu was giving voice to all his affections, all his pain, which meant that he no longer planned to set his eyes on Fu Daiqing and was using a method akin to self-torture to cut off his retreat.

Again and again, Cheng Xu asked the same question: Why are you getting married already? Fu Daiqing remained silent for a long while before lifting his hand and wiping the tears on Cheng Xu's face. His movements could not be said to be ungentle, but Xu Tangcheng really wanted to slap his hand away and ask him what he meant by doing that. Fu Daiqing said something that Xu Tangcheng had expected long ago but when he heard that "I'm sorry," at the same time, he felt a sudden sense of familiarity.

Before his brain could form a thought, his body had already acted ahead to look for that person.

Yi Zhe was standing not far away, brows slightly furrowed, eyes looking in this direction. When he saw Xu Tangcheng look towards him, his gaze immediately shifted a little and his body moved, like he was asking Xu Tangcheng what the matter was.

All of a sudden, Xu Tangcheng had a deeper understanding of Cheng Xu's feelings. Not because he shared the same feelings, but because he remembered Yi Zhe during a certain period of time in the past, and remembered the feeling of his heart aching at that time.

He looked at Fu Daiqing and finally took a step back while holding on to Cheng Xu, making Fu Daiqing's hand leave Cheng Xu's face. Fu Daiqing paused and looked at him, but did not move forward.

His heart had cooled down by half. Xu Tangcheng lowered his head and asked Cheng Xu, "Do you still want to talk?"

Cheng Xu took a while to respond. He shook his head, then shook it again.

Hence, Xu Tangcheng turned around to call Yi Zhe, telling him that he would bring Cheng Xu back to sleep. Yi Zhe responded and very quickly walked over, asking softly, "Can you handle him? Why don't I send the two of you up?"

Xu Tangcheng shook his head, then looked at Zheng Yikun who was leaning against the car door and smoking the whole while.

"Go home after you send Zheng Yikun back. Drive slowly."

When they left, Fu Daiqing did not stop them. He did not even make a sound and only remained where he was, watching them from a distance. Xu Tangcheng closed the main door of the corridor and in the loud sound that it emitted, he felt as though he could hear the despair brought by that silence.

Yi Zhe remained where he was and waited a while more. Seeing that his phone stayed silent, he finally called Zheng Yikun to leave. Fu Daiqing was still there. Zheng Yikun pinched his cigarette between his fingers and stubbed it out on the trashcan, drawing a few circles. Until the moment before he turned his body, he was still staring at Fu Daiqing.

In the car, there was only Yi Zhe and Zheng Yikun left. They had nothing to chat about. It was only when they reached a crossroads where they needed to make a turn that Yi Zhe finally asked, "Going back to Workers' Stadium or home?"

Zheng Yikun lifted a hand and loosened another button on his shirt. He said, "Drop me home. It's still the same place as the last time."

He lit another cigarette. One arm rested on the window frame, head tilted and leaning against the seat. The opened window had yet to be wound up. Wind poured into the car and it was only then that Yi Zhe realised that Zheng Yikun wasn't even wearing a coat. On this cold winter's night, the wind blew on his shirt until it was completely plastered against his body.

He didn't say anything and just pressed on the button to wind the window up. But Zheng Yikun said, "No need. I'm not cold."

"If I remember correctly, the man that made Cheng Xu cry so badly is called Fu Daiqing, isn't he?"

"I'm not sure," Yi Zhe said.

But Zheng Yikun didn't care whether or not he was sure. As before, he sprawled unmoving on the front passenger seat and spoke as though to himself.

"He's even an entrepreneur." He breathed out a cloud of smoke, then turned his head with a sneer. "Someone who has gone through the hardships of the business world, and that motherfucker couldn't see Cheng Xu's feelings for him? He had no way to put a stop to someone's feelings? I don't fucking believe it."

When he said that, he rendered Yi Zhe stunned for a moment. They reached a red light. Their car was the only one stopped at the intersection, the road was totally empty. Yi Zhe thought for a while. Before he released the brakes, he asked, "You and Cheng Xu, are you guys together?"

"How is that possible."

Zheng Yikun's response was instantaneous, and was even accompanied by a chuckle. Yi Zhe felt rather discomfited listening to him. His brows furrowed lightly. He glanced at the person beside him, then continued to ask, "Then, do you like him?"

"I do." As before, Zheng Yikun answered very quickly. He picked up an empty mineral water bottle between the two of them and tapped the ashes into it. "Kind-hearted and also cute, of course I like him."

Even Yi Zhe could hear how careless this "like" was.

"Will you guys get together?"

This was his final question.

This time, Zheng Yikun didn't answer immediately. He stared ahead, unmoving, perhaps in thought or perhaps not. When the cigarette was burned to the end and Yi Zhe thought that he wasn't going to answer, he finally said, "Not considering it."

A careful deliberation was more complicated than an instantaneous reaction, and was also closer to the actual truth. This answer was not satisfactory but to Yi Zhe, it was not surprising. Zheng Yikun's ex-girlfriends were too many to count, just the ones that everyone knew were already numerous. The people in the dorm had even once made a throwaway comment that the girls Zheng Yikun had dated before basically comprised every course in the university. Just one more from the computer science faculty and he would have completely cleared the game.

"I'm the kind of person who wants a lot of things." Zheng Yikun ran a hand through his hair. The smile he showed was still that couldn't-care-less smile. "But not love."

Yi Zhe was used to his attitude that didn't care about anyone but right now, he still felt that it was an eyesore and he also didn't want to listen to him say all that nonsense at all. From the moment he saw him do that thing to Cheng Xu, there was a ball of rage suppressed in Yi Zhe's heart. One reason was that he was afraid of Cheng Xu being deceived by Zheng Yikun, the other reason was because he knew that Xu Tangcheng had always protected Cheng Xu like a younger brother.

"And also, Cheng Xu is…" Zheng Yikun seemed to be coming up with an adjective, his words slowing down a couple of beats. "...too good and too innocent. I'm too playful, we're not the same type."

After hearing that, Yi Zhe's rage grew even fiercer. He couldn't stop himself from cursing. "Then what the fuck were you doing just now?"

"Hey, what did I do?" Zheng Yikun turned his head around and asked back. "Is it a big deal if two guys jerk each other off? Why have I never known that you're such a nag."

"What the f-" Yi Zhe was still trying his best to stop himself from swearing. Halfway through his words, he forced them back in. "You're an asshole."

"I'm an asshole, I'm an asshole." Zheng Yikun's tone was light and also provoking. After saying that, he even began singing tunelessly, "I'm an asshole."

 Yi Zhe didn't want to pay him any more attention and just let him go wild on his own. But perhaps the wind had blown on Zheng Yikun until his brain stopped working; after a while, he suddenly muttered, "Cheng Xu… probably hasn't been kissed before."

"Hmm?" Yi Zhe thought that he had misheard and made a questioning sound.

"Then, tonight, with that man… was it his first kiss?" After looking out the window in deep thought, Zheng Yikun continued speaking with a laugh, "If I knew this would happen, then I should have been more of an asshole long ago, that… fuck!"

Before he could finish speaking, the sudden braking made him nearly bite off his own tongue.

Yi Zhe watched as he fell forward, then was reined back in by the seat belt. With a poker face, he said, "Your stop."

When his body stopped rocking, Zheng Yikun lifted his head to look—like hell it was his stop, there was still another fucking road to go.

Yi Zhe's action could not be any more childish but his meaning was very clear. Zheng Yikun was so pissed off that he was laughing. He didn't quibble with Yi Zhe. He undid his seat belt and shot a glance at the person beside him. "What a gentleman."

With a flip of his hand, he deftly opened the car door and got down.

Watching his back that was forging on in the cold wind, Yi Zhe noticed that this person's shirt was even a deep purple colour, extremely stirring.

He didn't rush to leave. He waited until Zheng Yikun had walked away a fair distance before slowly setting the car into motion. He drove rather slowly and when he drew near Zheng Yikun, he looked in the rearview mirror and confirmed that there was no one. He cast another glance—there were also no stray cats or dogs.

A mineral water bottle suddenly flew out the car window, hitting right on target on the purple shirt. A cigarette stub was rolling around the bottle, along with a few pinches of ashes.

Zheng Yikun's reaction was quick. Hit by the bottle, he could still reach out and grab it. Without even looking, he immediately threw the bottle at the white car speeding away.

"Fuck you!"

Flying and rolling, the mineral water bottle reached a great distance. In the end, a hand completely red from the chill picked it up. There was the sound of someone saying, "Motherfucker."

Yi Zhe sent Xu Tangcheng a message after reaching home, asking him how Cheng Xu was. Xu Tangcheng looked at Cheng Xu who was lying down in bed obediently and sent him a reply, then went out to get hot water. When he came back and dipped a clean towel in the warm water, Yi Zhe's goodnight message came.

Right then, Cheng Xu called out to him.

"Tangcheng."

Xu Tangcheng walked to the side of Cheng Xu's bed. Cheng Xu didn't open his eyes. He said softly, "My eyes hurt."

After crying for a night, it would be strange if they didn't hurt.

The campus beds were not low. Xu Tangcheng went back to wring the towel dry, then got Cheng Xu to come closer to the edge of the bed. Cheng Xu shuffled over obediently with his blanket wrapped around him. Xu Tangcheng took a careful look and saw that both his eyes were scarily swollen, the area around them completely red. He wiped Cheng Xu's face with the warm towel, then unfolded and refolded it the other way, and laid it gently over Cheng Xu's eyes.

"Better this way?"

Cheng Xu nodded. He lay down quietly, no longer speaking. After a few minutes, when his emotions were calmer and his speaking voice didn't sound so strange anymore, he asked Xu Tangcheng to bring him his phone, saying that he wanted to call his mum.

Xu Tangcheng pressed his lips together. He passed Cheng Xu his phone but he was rather worried about how he would be during the call. In actual fact, he guessed that Fu Daiqing had already come up with some kind of story to tell Cheng Xu's mum and it wouldn't really matter whether or not Cheng Xu called her. But he didn't say those words to Cheng Xu. Or rather, it wasn't as though Cheng Xu wouldn't have thought of that himself.

It was the early hours before dawn, yet the phone only rang once before the call connected. The room was quiet. Xu Tangcheng could hear the urgent voice on the other end.

"Mm, I drank some alcohol. I went out to eat with people from the lab and got drunk, that's why I didn't pick up."

Xu Tangcheng continued to wipe his face with the towel, listening to him slowly say words of comfort and apology. There was a silent gap; the mother was talking a lot. Xu Tangcheng caught a name and at the same time, the look in Cheng Xu's eyes became strange again. Cheng Xu tugged the blanket up, gripping it, and said, "No…"

This one word exposed his tears. On the other end, the voice immediately became anxious and kept asking him what was wrong, what on earth had happened.

Cheng Xu couldn't stop himself from letting out a couple of sobs. He held Xu Tangcheng's wrist with one hand, looking at him with reddened eyes like he was pleading for help.

"I'm fine…"

The person on the other end of the call obviously wouldn't believe that and continued to ask a few urgent questions.

Xu Tangcheng covered Cheng Xu's hand with his own and took the phone. He mouthed at Cheng Xu: Let me speak.

"We shouldn't have let you go to Beijing from the very start. See, if anything happens to you, we won't even know. If you're over here near home, at the very least we could go over to visit you. You're still young in the first place, how could we not worry about you…"

Cheng Xu had loosened his grip a little but something in those words triggered a part of his heart, making him clench his teeth and grip the phone tightly again. His voice that had been choked with stifled emotions instantly turned undeniably tearful, revealing all his emotions.

"I'm really fine," he said again in the middle of that questioning and anxious voice. He sounded aggrieved, like a little child who had taken a tumble when walking and was crying with their arms around their parent's neck. "I just didn't do the task given by the teacher properly and was scolded during the regular meeting today."