We've all heard the expression 'One step forward, two steps back'. As it's nomenclature is self explanatory, it's a situation where every attempt at progress results in the situation becoming worse. Within that explanation and definition is where the basis of yet another one of my inane personal observations about society come into play. In my profession, as with any profession where one acquirers a trait that others value and want to exploit for their own purposes, abuse of the "give and take" becomes apparent. Early on one's perception of the good they are actually doing becomes distorted by those looking to get more then what was initially offered. Be it a car mechanic, doctor, computer tech, engineer, police, lawyer, etc people in those professions are inundated with this mentality within society. Let me explain how I see this in life.
Let's start with removing financial obligations to this situation. Family, friends, basic acquaintances rarely pay for access to your trait(s). And rightly so, it's more then likely offered on a pro bono basis out of good faith, being a decent human and basic Karma and balance to life. (or so we sell it to ourselves that way). It starts with what you perceive as a hand out of good faith, to help the person out, to bring them to a level both of you would be satisfied with. You extend yourself past the point of them having to ask further and take it upon yourself to do what needs to be done for the situation professionally. Be it taking care of a speeding ticket, a tune up for your car, computer repair, etc both parties are now fine with the outcome and nobody feels any guilt or remorse.
Then there's a shift within the conscious of the person that recieved the favor. That somehow, they now feel that the person whom has helped them out in the past is now obligated or willing to extend themselves out yet again. Never does the rational come to the person asking that perhaps the other person was doing it out of the goodness of their heart, and it was a one time thing, that the person might not be comfortable telling people no. And within that blind ignorance of human nature they ask again without feeling a knock towards their pride. And this is how I see it going all the time. Person A asks, "hey remember that favor you did for me last time? That was great, can you help me out again?" Person B upon realization that they are now stuck in a cyclic loop stammers at agreeing so quickly. Person A sees this hesitation subconsciously and instantly says "I can pay you if you want". (or another incentive) Note how it's worded and when. Person A subconsiosuly reconizes that Person B is out of their comfort zone and before they can say no, they offer to pay instead of saying it to begin with, along with saying "if you want". Meaning that not only will Person B have to say yes or no, but then they'll also have to 'ask' for payment or deny it. Something like, "ok, but this time I gotta charge you". But that's not a viable option most times as the person asking for the favor is asking because they don't have any money to take it elsewhere.
Within this logic is the inherent difference between those that mostly ask for help in life, and those that offer help in life. The two basic human persona's within our modern society.
TBC: