Romantic teenage relationships are a key component in many high schools. Whether you are dating, your friends are dating, or you see couples being affectionate in the halls, young romance exists and contributes to parts of your life, even if you don’t know it. 

Dating as a teen can be seen as a waste of time, but it is actually healthy. It can prepare teens for a more advanced dating world and helps them grow emotionally. It tones down outrageous expectations teenagers could have developed through social media, movies, TV, and books. Dating is nothing like what is seen online, and it is important for teens to understand that. 

Although high school relationships promote companionship, an increase in self-esteem, and help understand what to look for in the future, teenage dating can also lead to anxiety and depression, use of alcohol and smoking, teen pregnancy, and a decrease in self-esteem, which can essentially lead to an insecure relationship. 

Public displays of affection, or PDA, can be a discomforting sign of a privately anxious couple. In a form sent to students and teachers by the Green & White, many respondents agreed on the same thing: a little goes a long way. Another point made clear is that affection is natural, and an aspect all humans crave/need in one way or another. 

But what’s the deal with PDA? Why do couples have the desire to be affectionate in public?

Pride News states that “Human beings have three inalienable natural instincts: love, life and power.” Humans have love for their families, a (romantic) companion, and God/humanity. There is also a need for life; food, survival, and comfort. Power is found in parental roles, political atmospheres, and turning towards spiritual guidance. 

All three of these can contribute to a couple’s need to show affection in public; love contributes to the obvious need for companionship. Comfort can be found in having another person to join you on your journey. 

Power is the strength to communicate, take charge, and be there for your partner. However, having power in a relationship means being able to control your emotions and hormones. Without regulation and communication, couples can resort to public affection and problems within their relationship. 

What contributes to an insecure relationship?

Many things can contribute to the insecurity within a couple, including miscommunication, distrust, negative past relationships, childhood experiences, and more. 

Lack of communication is one of the biggest factors in a doubtful relationship. For example, lying within the relationship, cheating, etc. Even failing to share your feelings/thoughts with your partner can contribute to insecurity and distrust.

How do you overcome insecurity within your relationship?

Step one: Communicate. Even when you are feeling awkward or upset in a given situation, communicating with your significant other will relieve a lot of stress off both parties. 

Step two: Evaluate. Look at your relationship from a third-party perspective. Analyze arguments, conversations, and any other interactions that have been affected by emotion. Evaluate the relationship you have with yourself and identify what upsets you. 

Step three: Love yourself. Having a healthy relationship with yourself is a high contribution to having a healthy relationship with a partner. Practice forms of self-care–spending time with yourself, journaling, watching a movie, etc. 

Regardless, Cotter remains firm that there is no boundary on the first amendment, even when it comes to fake news. While it is an issue, people are entitled to their right to speak whatever is on their minds. He believes that consumer gullibility is the biggest contributor to the problem. 

Bushman and Mills both take different stances on the right to free speech and blatant lies being spread in the media. Both believe the first amendment strictly protects one’s right to share their opinion. When it comes to facts, they can’t be twisted and still remain protected. One cannot lie to manipulate the beliefs of others. Free speech does not extend to harmful misinformation. Bushman says, “Free speech shouldn’t be things that could harm others.” 

For many, there is a single pressing question: what is the point of sharing false “facts” on the internet? 

Mills attributes most of the motivation to cancel culture. Stories are created or taken out of context about those in the spotlight as an attempt to damage their career. While people make mistakes, those made by celebrities or politicians are spun to destroy lives. 

As for Bushman, she says, “I think the people who spread [false information] really believe it.” Most of the problem is a lack of consideration for the thoughts and beliefs of other people, and spreading opinion as fact. 

Cotter describes the media as “divisive.” He says, “Everything is so polarized and people try to make everything such a hot topic issue when it doesn’t need to be.” Small problems become large sources for arguments and discussion, especially when  almost  everything is made to be political one way or another. “It’s all extremes. There’s no middle ground,” Cotter explains. The common goal seems to be driving a wedge between friends and neighbors, allowing for platforms to reap the benefits of their stories  being viewed and shared. 

The rampant politicizing of every subject is also considered a problem by Mills. Regardless of what is being said, news stations and people refuse to agree on certain topics. They contradict each other for no reason other than the fact that they come from different parties.

Bushman describes the spreading of misinformation in the media as “dangerous.” Using individuals treating COVID with medicine intended for horses as her example, she explains that lies being spread as fact can lead to people taking harmful actions. It is all too easy for a mindless post on Instagram to severely hurt other people, both mentally and physically. 

For students here at MVHS, establishing a way to navigate these treacherous waters is critical. 

Bushman, Mills, and Cotter all have their way of ensuring they are gathering and sharing the correct information. 

For Bushman, she asks questions. When stories come her way, she turns to trusted adults and sources to verify what she’s hearing. For example, though she is a fan of CNN, she is aware they tend to specialize in opinion pieces. To combat this, she compares the information she gathers to more fact-focused sites. 

Mills gets much of his information from social media, which he admits is “sketchy.” He is careful to explore sources that discuss both sides of hot topics. He compares what he finds, searching for overlap and digging further. 

Cotter also relies on social media to get his news. However, when a subject that interests him crosses his feed, he is quick to seek further information. Regardless of whether the information comes in the form of a TikTok  or an offhand comment made by a friend, he relies on fact-checking. 

However, when it comes to fact-checking websites, Cotter is not a fan. He says, “I believe on paper, fact-checking is a great idea, but in practice, it is used to silence certain parties.” He believes many sites seek to “silence the right side of politics just because they disagree with it.” In his eyes, this is unfair as the left side also says incredibly outlandish things. 

Mills agrees that though the idea behind fact-checking websites is solid, they are falling short. He believes they have a tendency to backtrack on their previous statements. While they determine something to be true one week, they call it false the next. He considers them unreliable. 

While staying up to date on current events is incredibly important, it is critical that students take everything they hear with a grain of salt. Be sure to double-check  all the information you come across, and share only information you know is true. Together, MVHS can work to make a difference in slowing the spread of false information.