Topic 4: Method of creating a good relation among family

Family means a group of more than 2 people that are related by blood such as father, mother, and children. It may also include cousins and even others who are not blood related but who stay together and also count as family members. Families have a loving relationship with each other. Family members have a duty to teach and discipline other family members to be good and practice social rules that develop individual traits such as character, thinking, beliefs and interests etc.

Making good relations among family members

Arguments between parents and children usually occur because of the gapping experience between parent and child. The parent's care may include blame and warnings that may cause the child to have a feeling of distrust and perhaps too much worry, especially to a teenage child. Parents use their experience to predict the results from a particular behavior of a child. Bad behavior often causes an angry reaction from the parents which the teenager may see as emotional, unreasonable and cause the teenager to reject the parents advice. Considering your own needs and not trying to understand the other persons wants and needs will create an argument. Solutions must begin with having an open mind to look for the meaning in the other person’s words and actions. Understanding the real meaning will enable communication between parents and children without an emotional reaction to each other. Learning about and experience of each other will help to increase understanding, decrease argument and encourage more communication.

The factors that encourage good relations are

- To praise or admire appropriately.

- To criticize constructively

- To solve the argument creatively.

To praise or admire appropriately

Most people both in the family or society and outside the family seldom praise or admire each other. Most parents believe that if they praise their children, the children will be overconfident. So parents don't praise their children when they are good or exhibit behavior that the parents want. This causes children to feel despondent. A person usually needs appreciation. This will build a good relationship and should follow this procedure:

- Praise a new behavior.

- Appreciation should emphasize a good behavior and praise it individually.

- Tell what you feel about that behavior sincerely.

- Praise only a thing that should be praised.

- Don't praise more than necessary.

For example, a child tells his mother that "Mom, your food is very delicious today. I could eat a lot. I'm proud to have Mom that can cook delicious food" Mother tells her child that "Today, I'm so proud that you helped me by washing dishes without my telling you to"

Criticize constructively

The way to solve the problem when there is an argument in the family is through good communication which depends on skill and ability. Some tips are:

- Express your strong intention for keeping good relations together.

- Consult with each other constructively

- Emphasize and pay attention to the other person’s opinions.

- Clearly express your opinion to others so that they can acknowledge it.

- Accepting other people opinions does not mean you have been defeated or must submit to the person.

- listen to each other's opinion

- Avoid having bad temper, threatening, intimidating and being stubborn.

-Find the best solution that brings mutual agreement.

Example of solving an argument between couples.

- Both persons must be open-minded and listen to each other by speaking one at a time, listening to

each other until finished speaking and listening with an understanding of what is the message that the

speaker sent.

- If you interrupt before the speaker finishes, then they cannot continue communication.

- If both people are angry, annoyed or intimidated, then they cannot continue to solve the argument.

- They must avoid bad temper, try to talk with cool temper and pay attention to the other's opinion.

-Finally, the couple must work together to find a solution that leads to their mutual agreement.

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