Mick McKellar Update--Day +94
The intrepid walkers shivered our way to Charleton Lab A at 5:45 AM to have blood drawn for today's tests. The sun followed us downtown, too weak to warm the air, but enough to warm our hearts. Upon our return (7:00 AM) a beautiful spring day had begun. It was an auspicious beginning for the day marking one year since leukemia nearly claimed my life.
My visit with the dermatologist was inconclusive, and a bit awkward because he seemed uncertain about why he was consulted. My doctor was taking a most conservative approach and wanted his evaluation of the rash. This he provided. Some heat. Not much light.
Positive Results
Test results are in from the bone marrow biopsy, the bone mineral density tests, the x-rays, and the pulmonary function tests.
The bone marrow biopsy shows that I am and remain 100% donor. Also there is no trace of active leukemia. The test measured the amount of the BCR/ABL fusion protein that causes my leukemia at 0.0008% -- not gone forever, but way below anything considered significant. It rarely gets any better than that.
The bone density tests show that all my bones are above minimum density and some are significantly so. Good thing they didn't test my head bone...
The chest x-rays looked very good, and the pulmonary function tests showed lung function significantly better than when I arrived. All of this was good news.
I met with Dr. Litzow, the chief physician in charge of my case, and he mentioned wanting to see my "famous rash." Apparently, it is something of an anomaly and/or a curiosity under discussion among the hematologists at Mayo Clinic. Great. It remains active, but seems to be improving.
We still don't know why my red blood cells are dying off, but the infusion of two units of whole blood yesterday have improved both my energy level and my disposition.
Sleep/Dream
I have been sleeping more lately, because the steroid levels are decreasing and with that sleep comes dreams. My dreams are often filled with beautiful music and incredible images, some of which I try to describe in my poems. Tonight's poem, Dream Canvas, explains a little of why I write poems.
Thank you all for the cards, e-mails, letters, and calls. Thank you all for the prayers and good thoughts. Thank you all for helping us stay in touch with home.
God bless, and good night,
Mick
And now, Dream Canvas
I was blessed with the heart of an artist and the hands of a farmer with arthritis and a rusty bucket in which I cannot carry a tune. Entire symphonies, layered and deep intrude upon my musings and my sleep, but I have not the talent or training to write them down, nor the voice to bring them to life.
However, the world of words, not sundered from my life by any physical limitations, becomes the brush in my unsteady hand, the myriad colors upon my palette, the orchestra in my mind, and the chorus of my dream choir. I treasure the moments I am allowed to walk in that dream world, and find the mysteries waiting there for eyes to see, ears to hear, and hearts to embrace.
Mick
Dream Canvas
If I could write the music in my head,
And paint my words until they light the way,
Then dance unfettered, touching sky instead
Of letting all that beauty wash away.
If I could gather all the love I see,
I'd pour its essence deep upon the page,
So that the words alive inside of me,
Would live forever on the paper stage.
If I could sing an aria, profound
Enough to open all the wounded hearts
And souls, and share its loving healing sound,
I'd mend each broken spirit's fractured parts.
And though, my palette has but words, it seems
I'll paint upon that canvas in my dreams.
Mick McKellar
May 2011