Mick McKellar Update--Day +59
Today was the last IV push for steroids, at least that is the current plan. Tomorrow, I start taking Prednisone as a pill for awhile, and we're hoping improvements to the liver will continue apace and they can wean me from the steroids -- at which time, we pray the blood sugar problems will abate.
Our walk to and from the hospital was a breezy affair and the weather here is unsettled. They predict rain for the next few days, but welcome warmer temperatures and maybe even some sunshine for Easter Sunday.
I've learned to sample my blood with the meter and have injected insulin with the pen, but it is difficult because of hand quakes. It is a skill I hope to abandon, of course. There are more than a few diabetics here at the transplant house, and I have received much valuable advice regarding eating habits and snacking habits for diabetics. Tomorrow, we meet again with the BMT Diabetic coordinator and go over both what I have learned and reported so far. I must call in my blood sample numbers so they can recalculate and modify my insulin injections.
Medically, I am doing well enough, I guess. At least according to yesterday's numbers. Everyone is watching and waiting to see what GVHD will try next. Still, if I do well on tomorrow's tests, we may get the weekend off from hospital visits and not have to go in until Monday. That would be a blessing.
Gift of dinner
The Gift of Life Transplant House plans a wonderful Easter dinner, so we will have sharing of dishes and Easter wishes. I will not be looking for chocolate candies, of course, at least not this time. Maybe that will help me focus on our Risen Lord and not my own petty appetites.
Truly Easter
In the experience of my challenges this year, a seed, a microscopic seed of understanding has germinated. I have been focused on my own suffering and complaints, turned inward and striving to deal with all sent my way. But the dark shadow and golden joy of this week cover my complaints with shame and bathe my hopes in the brilliant light of resurrection.
We will miss sharing Easter dinner at home with friends and family, the comfort and caring, the laughter and sharing. Although we will share food here, I will be celebrating Easter as a gift of a new day to spend with Marian. I will be standing at the pinnacle of hope in my own mind, upon a snowy mountain overlooking my life's path, visibility unlimited, and pondering the wonder of it all.
Already the light of your prayers and wishes have rushed upon us as messages and cards brimming with news and Easter blessings. Already your e-mail stories and blessings have brought us closer to home. Already I sense the complex harmonies of chant and song, prayer and petition, wishes and good thoughts arising as a symphony for heaven and that we are included in those beautiful sounds. My own tone-deaf attempts will be there, although I count that God finds beauty in the voices of all His children, even mine.
These are the gifts of Easter for me, that from suffering and pain come glory and resurrection. That from uncertainty and fear, come welcome and rest. That from challenge and difficulty spring healing and understanding. That from death comes life, as winter finally yields to spring.
God bless you all,
Mick