Mick McKellar Update--Day +38
Quiet time and the end of long gray day, my mind drifts as the light melts away. Blood tests, drug tests, and mind-numbing meetings, fleeting hours passed, and here I am, once again piloting a keyboard about as well I could drive a car...and I am NOT allowed to drive.
It's Bactrim
After completing two weeks desensitization therapy, I may now join the many happy users of bactrim. Why are they happy? Because they don't have to take the other drug by nebulizer. One caveat: if I miss a dose (or my insurance would not approve a refill soon enough), I start the desensitization process again...from day one.
Will blood tell?
I asked several doctors if maybe having Kevin's blood in my streams makes a difference, because he is not allergic to sulfa drugs. The general consensus was a great deal of shrugging and a few maybe's. One can always hope.
Not all the news was great. My creatinine jumped from 2.2 to 2.4, and there are some indicators of liver problems. These are apparently to be expected and must be watched carefully. Basically, that's what the next couple of months is all about -- watching for signs of GVHD and adjusting medications to counter the threats.
Medical visits are now down to Monday and Thursday for blood tests and follow up, unless I have an issue, or Marian discovers a critical problem -- skin rashes, fever, and extra head growing on my back...the usual stuff. The rest of the time is healing time.
Chemo Brain
I asked my nurse and my doctor about this seeming inability to focus on anything and extremely slow processing times for my cranial computer system. They laughed and called it chemo brain. It will eventually wear off, but all those nasty, toxic, dangerous, and even orange chemicals they pumped into my blood stream, also went to my brain. It has taken a terrible beating and is relatively intact, but it is also sick from all the chemo and many of the drugs I take every day.
Add Ambien, my latest acquisition to my daily arsenal, and it is a wonder I can walk and talk...
Simple Life?
Maybe here is a truth I have been too slow to see: One of the reasons I find so much solace in simple things like daylight, faith, love, and cool water is that they are less complex than politics or American Idol or global climate change.
Focusing on simple stuff seems to have had a clarifying effect on my thoughts, slow though they are, letting me see through to the simple love, faith, and caring in my relationships. (BTW, it can also make me an extraordinarily stubborn bugger.)
That's all the simple thoughts I can wrangle tonight, because the wrangler is tired and the thoughts are beginning to scatter afield...off into those dark scary areas in my head.
The cards, letters, e-mails, and calls are wonderful! Thanks for the bits of home. Thanks for the prayers. Thanks for the good thoughts and great wishes.
God bless you all and good night
Mick