Mick McKellar Update--Day +50
The bright sunny afternoon left brilliant patches on the skywalk as Marian and I walked our afternoon constitutional. I must get up and walk about a bit each day, and we make it a bit further each time. I like walking on the skywalks between the buildings because of all the glass and the open views of downtown.
Several times I heard comments about how cute it was to see us old folks, Marian and the peeling lobster man, wandering up and down the halls hand-in-hand.
My medical condition has stabilized, but improvement is slow. They will be decreasing my steroid levels a bit and are watching other functions carefully. I still must do the Mick Mummy/Gumby wet wraps twice each day for three hours. It's cold and wet and uncomfortable, but seems to be helping my skin. So, the fun continues.
Stages
I was pondering all the stages of my own life this morning, while shivering in the "wets" as they call my wrappings. I've been young and old (sometimes at the same time), striven both as weak and strong (sometimes at the same time). And I reflected on what I needed at those stages. Much of it is difficult to accept.
When feeling young and fearful or old and confused, I need tenderness and compassion. I wonder, have I shown the requisite tenderness and compassion when I see the same in others. I find it easier to see now, and find it really does seem to help. Compassionate listening and the tenderness that comes from focusing on their problems, not my own or my own solutions to answers they must discern. Sometimes it is best to ditch the map and get out the catcher's mitt.
Then there are the striving days.
I still have periods where I set goals, realistic and unrealistic and begin that blind striving to reach them. Sympathy from a friend and a shoulder on which to cry is what I need. Can I be the big shoulders for another? Maybe. I can tell you that recognizing the need in myself makes it easier to see it in a friend.
Weak and strong?
Tolerance is the word. When I fail and bounce from the bottom I need others to be tolerant of my self-pity and let me find my balance. The same is true when flying high from an apparent display of strength, because sooner or later, I run into that old wall of human frailty and must reassess.
This is day +50, the half-way point to day +100. Time is moving swiftly, except when in the "wets." Improvement is a daily chore and and a daily gift, as is each new day. As is each new message, e-mail, card, letter, or response. Your prayers and communications bring strength and warmth from home and help us cope with the changes that are so inevitable.
Thank you for your prayers, chants, thoughts, and wishes.
God bless you all,
Mick