Mick McKellar Update--Day +40
Light electrons flow
Eyes walk paths bright and shadowed
Soft by the window
I have a nook -- a gift from my daughter, Heather, back when I had my "introduction" to the wonders of leukemia -- bleeding in the eyes. The expandable fonts allowed me to continue reading. Well, I'm on the nook list on Facebook and today they asked for an Haiku. I sent them the above -- bread on the water.
I've heard that April is National Poetry Month. I suppose I shall once again be disappointed in the number and size of the parades.
Today, day 40 since the transplant, represents a flux day between fights with the last of the chemo demons and readiness for battle with (and even against) my new baby immune system. The Ambien's effects have made several nights of relatively sound sleep possible. Severe coughing fits have been limited to only a few a day, and my new-found ability to nap offers momentary escape.
Golden
Each moment of today has been golden. I woke early as always, but this morning, I propped myself up with pillows and watched Marian sleep for an hour. When you sleep, sometimes your true face often reveals itself as your mind sorts its way through your challenges, successes, and failures. (I fear her late night was less revealing, because my snoring kept her awake for awhile.)
In the still hours, the tension-hard angles and lines of her face smoothed out a bit. Some of the sadness and fatigue caused by concern for my health (and her own) melted away. Asleep, her face was at peace. My heart warmed with an inner joy.
We shared some chores this morning, most involving getting the right meds down in the right order, and Marian flushes the lumens of my Hickman catheter with Heparin. Then to give her more time, I breakfasted alone. Not a tough menu: a Bosc pear and a bottle of EnsurePlus.
We moved quietly through the day, receiving some great cards and a wonderful package in the mail. She walked to the post office, and I napped. She attended Mass at St. John the Evangelist, and I said prayers here. I think somehow, we stay connected.
Quiet time is important, because healing is hard work. One would think after a day full of three meals, countless naps, a journal entry, and a few old videos from Netflix, one would be bounding with energy. However, by 9 or 10:00 PM, I will be dead on my feet and ready to sleep some more. Even after a golden day
Spring light touches hands
Inside, life fights for order
Price waits to be paid
Watch each other sleep, if you can. Take time to simply study one another. If you learn enough about an enemy, you may find a friend.
The wonderful cards, e-mails, letters, and messages cheer us daily. Your prayers and good thoughts make healing possible. On day one, l learned that I could not handle this alone. Prayer has great power to heal and you all prove that every day.
Thank you, and God bless you all,
Mick