Mick McKellar Update--Day +56
The sun will set in about fifteen minutes and the light from my window is shading toward a twilight ending to a long and difficult day. Our morning walk to the hospital was coat weather and earlier than expected because the BMT center called for me to meet with a pair of endocrinologists before my morning blood tests and injections. This afternoon's walk to and from the hospital was jacket weather -- rather nice, considering tomorrow promises ice pellets followed by about six inches of snow on Wednesday. Joy, a touch of home.
Ah yes, the endocrinologists. Well, it appears I will be learning all about testing my own blood sugar levels and injecting insulin. The ongoing treatment with steroids, though on the decrease, has sent my blood sugar levels soaring once too often. How long I will be taking steroids (whether IV or soon by pill), is uncertain. Whether or not the cyclosporin (anti-rejection drug) I will be taking for a long time will also trigger the diabetes reaction is unknown. There is even a possibility that the treatments may have "turned on" the diabetes permanently. (I'm praying really hard that this is not the case.)
In any case, later this week I will receive my first training in balancing my blood chemistry via insulin injection -- and finding out how much coverage BCBSM will provide under the circumstances. At this point, I have never been diabetic and never had to test myself or inject myself with insulin.
Roid Rage?
Ongoing use of steroids has produced two unfortunate side effects (no, not roid rage): an increased appetite and the inability to sleep without aids. These, I hope will temper with time -- especially the appetite -- I have not felt hungry for nearly a year and I don't really like the feeling -- considering the rather limited variety of foods that actually taste good to me at the present. My taste buds have not returned from their self-imposed exile.
Return of the walker
I am hoping that increased walking to and from appointments, rather than dependency on the shuttle, will help me balance out my diet and help mitigate side effects from the steroids. Currently, my walking progress is rather slow, and those watching me walk think often of stick-man theater. However, steroids are known to rob muscle mass and the endocrinologists are worried about possible bone density problems. Both situations should be helped by regular walking and exercise. At least that is my thought on the matter.
Quiet times and chocolate milk
We made a discovery at the local HyVee store. I have been drinking a lot of Lactaid milk. We found Lactaid Chocolate Milk! I drank a whole glass of chocolate milk with lunch today...a simple pleasure, but wonderful nonetheless.
Evenings are for quiet thought and journal entries. As you can imagine, my thoughts today have been in turmoil. I still suffer from what they call "chemo brain," basically so many chemicals are floating about among my various mirrors, shadows, nooks, and crannies in my brain, it takes a long time to assimilate and process new data, and to sort and process memories, day dreams, and insights.
Tonight, my thoughts are still processing the new challenges from today and seeking guidance from above for the rest. Each day remains a gift, and some are more fun to open than others. I am certain that, with the Lord's help we will sort through the new protocols, the new medications, the testing equipment, the timing with meals, and all the rest.
I am still becoming, and I am still fascinated by the journey. I wonder who I shall be tomorrow morning, tomorrow noon, and tomorrow night? If today is any guide, change is certain and challenge is the call for the day.
Who said healing was going to be boring?
As always, your communications and prayers continue to sing the song for my soul and weave the music that causes my spirit to soar. Marian and I thank you all,
God bless and good night,
Mick