Mick McKellar Update--Day +69
Sunny Sunday, blue, cold, and windy too, a perfect afternoon for the intrepid walkers to shiver on down the sidewalk for a refreshing stretch of the legs. Despite her best efforts, spring's progress remains sporadic here. Today's rest and healing will be tested tomorrow morning, with early morning blood tests and afternoon consultations.
We may also have the results of the second Chimera test. The results of this test are notoriously slow coming back. My first Chimera test showed full engraftment and 100% donor cells in my blood stream. I did not know they tested again until last Thursday. We are hoping for 100% donor again. I understand they do the test yet again at about 100 days and also another bone marrow biopsy. However, the numbers will be what the numbers will be.
Upon waking
Always on the lookout for changes in my condition, small things mostly, imagine my surprise in the wee hours of this morning, to find my left hand cramped nearly against my left wrist, and twisted into a significantly weird shape! Warm water and a bit of massage loosened the cramp, and it has not returned. Now, I have something interesting to report to the doctors tomorrow.
An interesting side effect of taking steroids is an almost magical inability to sleep -- especially interfering with my afternoon naps and day dreaming time. The fatigue from a BMT will be with me a long time. I've been advised to consider naps and early bed times, because I will need the rest (as well as exercise) and that my energy level may never be what it once was. Still, it would be nice if I could take a nap...
At night, I take a combination we call "The Hammer:" three pills at once -- lorazepam, benadryl, and Ambien. After about 30 minutes, I'll just drop away into dreamland, at least until my daily 3 liters of water wake me up in the middle of the night. Even when up and about, I wear my dream like a technicolor sombrero, so when I come back to bed, I drop off again. Did I mention the technicolor dreams? One of my hopes is that when the steroid levels get down far enough, I can drop The Hammer and get more natural sleep.
Four hours
The odd part in all of this, is that I never really slept more than four or five hours a night for most of my life. I would stay awake until the wee hours of the morning, writing poetry and journaling, and then wake up about four hours after retiring, ready for the new day. My mother told me that the habit began when I was a toddler and drove them crazy.
I had an inflexible four hour barrier though -- if I slept less than four hours, I was a mess. Was I sleep deprived for most of my life? If so, I never felt sleep deprived. One of the many questions to be answered as we move ahead will be the amount of sleep I will need. At the moment, I take all the sleep I can get.
As dusk gathers the early tendrils of night outside our window, and the last sunbeams caress the rooftops and trees, I think of all of you and wish we were home. However, your messages, calls, cards, e-mails, and stories touch our hearts and minds with bits of home. Thank you for your prayers and good thoughts. They will be on my mind as tonight's Hammer puts out my lights.
God bless and good night,
Mick