Day +02

Good evening, everyone,

Sounds great, doesn't it? "Day plus 2" sounds like a true beginning. Last night was brutal. It seemed like every system in my body turned on and off again, malfunctioning. I slept about 2 hours total, in 15 minute bites, in between bouts of heartburn, nausea, aches, and sudden pains. I overheated and then immediately suffered chills to make my bones quake. And the tremors...it is a wonder they don't register on the Richter scale.

When I arrived, bleary-eyed at the hospital this morning for tests and adjustments, they actually seemed pleased with my experience. They prescribed two more medications (that's 11 active, now for those counting) with a couple of meds on the "reserve list." It can be overwhelming, but the residents at Gift of Life Transplant House are really one huge resources of support and information. They take one look in your eyes, and can say with accuracy, "I've been there. It will get better." Their unshakable confidence is a strong anti-dote for the midnight willies, when everything hurts and nothing seems endurable.

Each day, I look over the wonderful messages and the cards from friends and relatives and even strangers (who are now friends). The support from you all and the prayers and best wishes, and the chanting, and the positive energy...it lifts me up. I spend at least an hour or two each day, my still-aging eyes and still trembling hands in front of my aging laptop, reading and re-reading your messages. BTW, for those who sent cards, and have not received a written response, please be patient. Currently, I cannot even read my handwriting because of the tremors.

Tonight, I just hope to be able to lie down in bed for a few hours instead of napping in the lounger. I plan to bask in the warmth of your prayers. I will pray and give thanks for my blessings: Doctors who really seem to know what must be done (even if I don't like it); friends, relatives, and neighbors who care; a courageous brother and his family who granted me the gift of another chance; and for Marian, who endures the cold, prickly moments, the seconds of terror when something doesn't look or sound right, and the long hours of waiting for me to get cranky again, and again. In many ways, the caregiver's job is the toughest, because she cannot carry the pain or the terror, only be there to cheer on, to catch, or to carry as needed.

Without Marian, I could not endure.

God Bless, Good Night, and more tomorrow.

Mick

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Elwin N. "Mick" McKellar

- Phone #s: (home) 906-337-5596

- E-mail: mick@mmnetwork.info / mick@pasty.net

- Web: www.mmnetwork.info, www.mickmckellar.com, mickmckellar.blogspot.com