CYWTB?

To be 

is am are 

was were

be been being

There were many good examples that were shown in class.


And before he knew it, it was August.




Rephrase the following sentence.  Try to get rid of "was because it was."

The reason my line kept getting tangled was because it was the first time I used that kind of reel.

 In the beginning of this short story, it really didn't catch my attention at first, like most books do


What I got from Vonnegut’s writing is that there are multiple different story lines and if I was to tell the dog story to a child I might just take the dogs storyline and use that because that will entertain the child more than the more intriguing yet complicated storyline, which is the main one. 

As the detective flashed his light into the hole where the bag was it was just more wall behind it.

In my opinion I believe that the Sherlock Holmes series shows how connections and patterns can be made and therefore making the stories a very enjoyable read.

Being able to connect certain patterns and connections within the stories is a very satisfying feeling when reading mystery/crime.

This essay is about how Sherlock or Moriarty uses a power play to force the others next move.

First off what I thought about the movie was that It was good,mysterious,action filled, it shows how Sherlock and Watson are trying to bust a crime game between Sherlock and Moriarty.

The reason why I chose this story is because I thought it was very interesting. 

I chose to focus on this story because it interested me most.

Mystery books I feel like its easier to get excited after the first couple of paragraphs because it kinda sets up what the whole book is gonna be about

I think what surprised me the most is that this is a true story and it is sad to see how bad things were during that time.

The main reason why I love this book is how simple and straightforward it is.

10/8

Read about the Dash

Use a dash in your rewrite the following sentence:

Students don't realize that the dash can improve their writing--especially their voice. 

Read about the Colon

Use a colon in your rewrite the following sentence:

In your next story, you should incorporate two things: a colon and a dash.

This was an interesting plot point in the book because there is this thought in reality about the fact that being known by everyone is the ultimate epitome of happiness and everyone should attempt to get that.

A story can only be made interesting by interesting characters.

But what about stories makes them so important to culture and tradition? Do stories need to have meaning or are they just an easy way to distract children? What's the Point? 

This paper is about the book The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson. It tells the story about a journalist and publisher of the magazine Millennium named Mikael Blomkvist.

Any grogginess that may have remained from my slumber was instantly washed away by blinding light.

Next in the book you are introduced to Lisbeth Salander an unusually young woman with many tattoos and piercings.

12/13

I felt a lump in my throat I was going to cry but I knew I couldn't, I knew I had to stay strong.

12/11

At first, I thought it was Blore and then I thought it was Dr. Armstrong because as we have 

heard and seen many times, he is a highly skilled and respected man. This means he is 

probably very intelligent as well, so this entire setup seems like something he could pull off.

Remember your proofreading tricks/scans

To be/passive voice

also there/they're/their

Soon the doors were destroyed, and we were all inside, but there was nobody there. We fanned out and searched for the monks and their valuables.

Subject Abuse (too many I's)

I've been lucky.  I've been lucky enough to grow up in Boulder, Colorado in the house I live in the schools I go to and the life I have the opportunity to live.

12/6

Read about the Colon

Use a colon in your rewrite the following sentence:

In your next story, you should incorporate two things: a colon and a dash.

12/4

Read about the Dash

Use a dash in your rewrite the following sentences:

I find myself once again on the floor--hard and wooden, rather uncomfortable for sleeping.

Students don't realize that the dash can improve their writing--especially their voice. 

12/3

Documentaries are made of many parts if you are looking you can find the many different parts in most documentaries.

There were many good examples that were shown in class.

There are multiple elements that make a documentary, but not all are used.

Normally, I do not enjoy watching documentaries, and it is normally something I have to do during school.

Then in this documentary it uses footage of the main character saving a chicken, and bringing it to an animal sanctuary.

What makes a documentary good? Obviously good camera work and audio, alongside good footage to keep the documentary engaging for the people watching. But what is the work behind all of this? Filmmaking is not an easy process and there is a lot of work that goes into making it.

There was this one shot I really liked. It was a birds-eye view of a burnt neighborhood after a forest fire and it started on one house, so the watcher can think, “Oh, it is not that bad.” But the shot slowly starts to zoom out so you can see the entire neighborhood and see how devastated it is. I just thought it was fantastic. 

 It was so fascinating to see how professionals film things and it helped me wonder how I should be filming things.

11/20

These stories are culturally significant because they have been passed down through generations over time and they contain values and knowledge.

Do a "First Word Scan"

After going through the website quizzes the 

students needed to peer edit their first pieces.

There's a handout for this one

11/15

This issue is also about the media and the President. This is because the media is going to be heavily covering the inauguration balls.

11/13

I believe the main purpose of this story is that there are certain questions that cannot be answered

11/12

The first evidence of there being two sides is on a talk show that April is invited to be on.

11/8

The main character was asked to bring the box onto the plane. The man seems really sincere but that’s what con men are meant to be like.

10/29

What I liked about the episode of sherlock was that the shots and lighting the lighting was amazing.

10/21

Rephrase the following sentence.  Try to get rid of "was because it was."

The reason my line kept getting tangled was because it was the first time I used that kind of reel.

I believe the main purpose of this story is that there 

are certain questions that 

cannot be answered, and if you 

become obsessed over those questions, it can ruin 

your morale.

People who obsess over questions they cannot 

answer sometimes let the 

uncertainty depress them.

9/19

In baseball and in life, there is a fine line between having fun and screwing around, and it is important for you to know the difference.

9/18

Do an "And Scan"

We need to apply what we were supposed to

 learn, and a little review might help.

Do a "First Word Scan"

After going through the website quizzes the 

students needed to peer edit their first pieces.

There's a handout for this one

to be:

is  am  are

was  were 

be  been being

9/3

After sitting in my garage for over a year someone stole my bike.

While having dinner the beeping sound stopped.

People who obsess over questions they cannot answer sometimes let the 

uncertainty depress them.

8/27

Though the man seemed sincere when asking the narrator to bring the box on the plane, she couldn't know whether to trust him.

There are many ways for sentences to be revised by students, and some are simple.

These stories are culturally significant and have been passed down through generations by storytellers.

It was so hot in the 300 hallway.  Vanessa's 

room was a sauna.

8/16

The main reason I was happy was because it was Friday and my weekend was going to be awesome.

Rephrase the following sentence.  Try to get rid of "was because it was."

The reason my line kept getting tangled was because it was the first time I used that kind of reel.

My line kept getting tangled because I had never used that kind of reel.

This essay will be discussing why certain circles are organized higher or lower than others and the reasoning behind why Dante organizes his Hell this way.

4/30

The story was about how you have to face  many obstacles by living in a poor country as a girl who is turning into a woman.

4/16

Gunshots. That’s all Arthur Morgan could see or hear. Bullets whizzing past him from every direction. All of them from the revolvers that had been strung to the hips of the sheriff and his crew just minutes ago.

4/9

1/18

I enjoyed this poem the best because of the message it is sending to the 

reader. It is a message of kindness and compassion; it's helping 

mankind and being kind to all creatures that gives life meaning and purpose.

I enjoyed this poem because of its message: kindness and compassion give life meaning and purpose.

3/22

The main reason I was happy was because it was the Friday before Spring break, which was 

going to be awesome.

 

3/20

It was a beautiful day here in New York City. It was a bright blue sky with no clouds in it.

3/19

3/7

Read "The Other Wife"

Rewrite this:

interior restaurant night

Alice and Marc waited at the door of a restaurant hoping to find a good table.  The restaurant is small.  

maitre d’: Table for two? This way, Monsieur, Madame, there is still a table next to the window, if Madame and Monsieur would like a view of the bay.” 

Alice followed the maitre d’. 

Alice: “Oh, yes. Come on, Marc, it’ll be like having lunch on a boat on the water . . .” 

Her  thinks he sees someone he knows and wants to change the plan.  Mark caught her by passing his arm under hers.

Marc:: “We’ll be more comfortable over there.” 

Alice: “There? In the middle of all those people? I’d much rather . . .” 

Marc said“Alice, please.” 

He tightened his grip in such a meaningful way that she turned around. “What’s the matter?” 

“Shh . . .” he said softly, looking at her intently, and led her toward the table in the middle. 

“What is it, Marc?” 

Where Men Win Glory is a book that makes you think about your own life a lot. You hear all of these amazing and interesting stories that somehow make you think, what can I do to help this world as well?

2/12

It had to be Murder--read 3-4 paragraphs

Try to write the set up/action

See The Script

Watch The Opening

2/4

Writing Action

Saving Private Ryan Script  for reference

Rewrite this sentence:

She's hurting inside and we can see it.  She's a fighter though, so finding her inner composure she puts the journal down on the table.

2/1

I liked the story because it came from a woman's perspective and it told what it was like to live back then. It was also about how you have to face  many obstacles by living in a poor country as a girl who is turning into a woman.

The story provides an interesting look at the obstacles girls faced in a different time and place. Readers today can still make connections to the universal themes.

1/29

Before watching it I would have said that the shawshank redemption was a low light however after watching it to me it is not a low light.

1/25

INT. CAR - LATE AT NIGHT

2 people are driving late at night in their car, the passenger is very drunk, and the driver has been his designated driver for very long now. Almost every Friday, the 2 go to the bar, and they eat food, and one gets drunk and the other is his moderator. ADAM, the driver, is always the one pulling JASON away from women and more drinks. He almost every time comes home drunk as can be. Every time. This time was different and Jason had explicitly stated that.

INT. RIZZO'S OFFICE - 3:45

Mr. Rizzo's office is small and dark with a single small window at the back above a desk where the old teacher sits in his wheely chair.  There are shelves piled high with knick knacks and books. The window is open and RIZZO is leaning out of it, smoking a cigarette.

RIZZO

                  Crap, don’t you losers knock?

The boys are quite shocked by the scene they walked in on.

HOLDEN

Mr. Rizzo wha- but.. You’re a teacher..

RIZZO

(pointing his cigarette at Holden matter-of-factly)

                 Exactly.

He puts the cigarette out and flicks it out the window and turns back to the  boys as he continues to speak.

How to Write a Logline

When Harry Met Sally

A man and a woman drive halfway across the country and decide they could never be friends.  They cross paths later in life. They spend time together and continue their relationship, and both still wonder if men and women can be friends.  Will they end up friends, lovers or neither? They will have to go through some relationships and wait an see what the answers might be to their questions. Hilarity ensues.

A real logline for it

When Harry Met Sally: 

When a cynical pantsman finally sleeps with his one genuine female friends, he’s forced to question his views about the nature of love and romance.

1/17

One of the stories that stood out to me was "The Shadow." The reason it stood out to me is because of its many meanings and lessons. I think that it has a lot of symbolism.

"The Shadow" stood out most to me because of its lessons, symbolism and meaning.

1/14

See what you can do to eliminate the verb "to be" 

is am are 

was were

be been being 

It is difficult for me to say what it was that made me think it wasn't going to be hot in the 

300 hallway.

1/11

Let's do a little lesson on...

Writing Action: Click Here

1/10

The reason we got it for next to nothing was because it was always breaking down.

1/8

Rephrase the following sentence.  Try to get rid of "was because it was."

The reason my line kept getting tangled was because it was the first time I used that kind of ree

My line kept getting tangled because I had never used that kind of reel.

Before we went to hospital My mom wanted me to change out of my PJ’s but I would not, we showed up to the hospital and they suck a needle in my arm and it was painful.

There's a handout for this one

12/4

One such question is as follows. Why did so many people change color all at the same time when there was a lightning storm? One possible answer was that the storm was a new experience, and it really is a new experience that causes them to change color.

The people of Pleasantville change color when they experience something new that stirs them--the dramatic lightning storm had a huge impact.

11/30

When I think of this story I bring up actual life and how not everyone cares for you and

you sometimes just have to be alone through tough situations.

11/27

11/15

This shows how the story uses hyperbole. It is physically impossible to be the size of a giant and to shrink down to the size of a marker. This story uses the exaggerations to make a fantasy and that makes the story more compelling. This helps the reader stay more engaged. This shows that is more important to understand the author's intention because they can provide bogus details.

I don't think one matters more than the other between the author's intention and the readers interpretation.

10/8

Has anyone gone as far as decided to use even go for to do look more like?

10/6

To go on a trip to a place I’ve never been is something I’ve always wanted to do, and is something I’m sure I will love and never forget.

As the end of the day was close the main reason I was happy was the fact that it was Friday and I was done with first period.

With my final first period of the year behind me, Friday afternoon felt even 

better than usual.

Another reason you should be open to opinions is that in this society if you have a

different opinion to someone or a group you are seen as an outsider.

To be:

is  am  are

was  were 

be  been being

10/25

There was a huge burst of smoke and he was gone.

10/23

Tom Sawyer showing vs. telling

Sparknotes--Telling Chapter 1     (or pick a different chapter)

Try to show it using active verbs, dialogue and description.

Read the first part of Chapter 1 in The Novel

To be:

is  am  are

was  were 

be  been being

10/22

I believe this was intentional and highly doubt that Huxley would have intended 

us to sympathize with his villain if a critique of human behavior 

is really what he was going for.

10/18

The reason we got it for next to nothing was because it was always breaking down.

10/5

While I was reading I couldn’t decide who I related with or who I was “rooting for”. It was hard because right off the bat I knew that there was some shady stuff and events happening on the island, so it made it hard to find someone initially to root for when I didn’t know who I could trust.

Rephrase this:

When someone watches "The Fisher King" for the first time, they might miss some of the details, and this can make some viewers confused. There is a lot to think about, and it's interesting to think about what the movie says about helping each other out and how we are all fisher kings and fools and need to be real.

At first glance, The Fisher King can confuse some viewers. However, by piecing together the details, viewers can find that the movie sends a strong message: we need to be real and we all play the roles of king and fool.

Consider how I might organize an essay around the above thesis.

       

As the hours went by it seemed like it was time lapsed, it was quick and before I knew it I was leaving because my mom had picked me up to go to that appointment she was talking about.

4/3

I made my way over to the tree. I looked up. I was scared, I didn’t want to end up falling down because I knew that the fall would probably kill me.

8/27

Tom Sawyer showing vs. telling

Sparknotes--Telling Chapter 1

Try to show it using active verbs, dialogue and description.

Read the first part of Chapter 1 in The Novel

To be:

is  am  are

was  were 

be  been being

8/22

There was a huge burst of smoke and he was gone.

8/20

The reason we got it for next to nothing was because it was always breaking down.

CYWTB?

Rephrase the following sentence.  Try to get rid of "was because it was."

The reason my line kept getting tangled was because it was the first time I used that kind of reel.

My line kept getting tangled because I had never used that kind of reel.

4/29

There are different tips and tricks to how you can do your makeup, it is art because it is a form of expression, a way you get to be yourself, and you can choose to do it how you like, there’s not rules for it.

Showing vs Telling with The Great Gatsby

Cliffs Notes for The Great Gatsby

The Great Gatsby (read online)  

Great Gatsby Script (2013)

1974 Film Version

2013 Version

4/17

This book really gets you to question many aspects in your life you normally are unaware of.

4/12

This land is known as West Virginia, a blue-collar mining state with an economy based on a black rock called Coal. Coal has been very sacred to the state for a long time as it for the longest time fuelled their economy. You can mine Coal from many parts of the country but West Virginia and the whole of Appalachia have some of the highest quality of the rock anywhere in the world.

4/6 Check out this Sample Dialogue and be ready to critique it. Look for places to make improvements and make at least one comment.

4/2

In this essay I will be discussing my views on utopia/dystopia, Brave New World, and why I think it is good to have books like Brave New World and 1984 around.

3/19

Rephrase the following sentence.  Try to get rid of "was because it was."

The reason my line kept getting tangled was because it was the first time I used that kind of reel.

My line kept getting tangled because I had never used that kind of reel.

3/9

Many aspects of their society are viewed with negative judgement by readers.

3/6

In Brave New World Huxley makes soma a very big part of it and he brings it up alot.

2/20

Trevor Noah:

The reason we got it for next to nothing was because it was always breaking down.

2/14

Of course objects don’t change the way people do, so why did it become colorful? I believe that it was because the world was changing.

2/13

2/9

Another thing I noticed was, when David was living his normal life--he was essentially a nerd with no friends. But when he traveled to Pleasantville, he became this sort of macho man whom everybody loved.

2/7

I feel that her father is represented as old Puerto Rico with it's traditions and pride.

1/24

Notice an unintended pattern?

There are a lot of places around the world that I would love to visit, one of the coolest things about downhill longboarding is, there are races everywhere there are paved roads.

1/16

It is pretty obvious that she is happy because she is more independent.

To Be

is am are

was were

be been being

Obviously, her happiness stems from her newfound independence.

1/12: 

Make the following sentences active: 

 Their teacher expects these students to rethink how they construct sentences.

They will likely have to revise after peer editing. 

12/19

As far as these daily grammar lessons go there was always something wrong with the sentences and the thing was it was your job to know how to fix them but also how to rephrase them.

As far as the daily lessons went, we always had to fix sentences and "write them better" in our own, authentic voices.

12/15

I heard the front door open and close, and I heard his loud footsteps up the stairs, and I heard him pull back the sheets to his side of the bed and climb in just as i had done.

In creating a character the likeability is not decided by what the character does, rather their motivations and emotional reasoning.

12/7

In writing creatively, the most important thing to keep your world feeling real is to establish narrative and characters that feel human.

11/30

The problem is there are so many good arguments for the Democrats and Republicans.

11/28

While we were on vacation the newspaper was not supposed to come but there was a communication problem and they were in a big pile on our porch.

11/27

After breaking his leg Tom cried.

After breaking his leg Sue yelled, "You want some more?"

After breaking his leg took months to heal.

12/5

The following sentence suffers from "I abuse" one of the side effects of writing actively.  See if you can reduce the number of "I's."

  I had no recollection of what I had done to get here.  I didn’t know where I was or how I had gotten there.  I gathered my things, and I tried to find my way home.  I wasn’t worried, because I had a compass.

11/7

What reverb does is it takes a signal input, and adds this effect to it that makes it sound like you are hearing it in a very big room.

What I learned from watching these documentaries is to use appropriate music, something that fits the topic without lyrics.

From watching these documentaries, I learned to use music that fits the topic without lyrics.

11/6

It is important for filmmakers to remember there are many tools to tell a story.   One example of this is Exit through the Gift Shop where still images of street art is used.

To Be

is am are

was were

be been being

The filmmakers of Exit through the Gift Shop used many tools to tell their story--most effectively the still images of street art.

11/3

An example is in the invisible children documentary the music was very upbeat and inspiring, it made you feel motivated.

The upbeat music in The Invisible Children motivates and inspires viewers.

11/2

The ending of this book was a true disappointment. I believe the reason I dislike it so much, was because it was too easy.

10/4

Rephrase this:

When someone watches "The Fisher King" for the first time they might miss some of the details and this can make some viewers confused. There is alot to think about and its interesting to think about what the movie says about helping each other out and how we are all fisher kings and fools and need to be real.

At first glance, The Fisher King can confuse some people. However, by piecing together the details, viewers can find that the movie sends two strong messages: we need to be real, ordinary people, and we play both the roles of king and fool.

Consider how I might organize an essay around the above thesis.

       

The reason this story stands out to me is because I have the habit of daydreaming

That morning I walked as slow as I could to the dealership and I dressed nicer than usual so I wouldn't look too suspicious.

As we approach this door I am surprised to smell something odd. As if someone had mixed fuel with rotten eggs. I almost passed out due to this intense and disgusting smell. As if my prayers had been answered I was taken through another set of doors to be brought to a pleasant smelling room.

 

Try using a dash in the following sentence--maybe rephrase it too.

Students don't realize that the dash can improve their writing--especially their voice. 

9/7

9/5:

 After realizing that we were going to be late my dad started driving fast and that is why he was pulled over,his ticket cost him 125 dollars and it also got him 4 points on his license.

Realizing we were running late, my dad sped up but got a little carried away.  A cop pulled him over and gave him a 

four point ticket and a $125 dollar fine.

8/25

The main reason I am happy is beacuse it is Friday.

All of a sudden, a gunshot can be heard. The sound of glass shattering can be heard.

I felt a lump in my throat I was going to cry but I knew I couldn't, I knew I had to stay strong.

I’ve never really been a shy person. I’m outgoing, I have lot’s of friends and no one really hates me at school.

5/5

Try using a colon in the following sentence.

In your next story, you should incorporate two things: a colon and a dash.

Try using a dash in the following sentence.

Students don't realize that the dash can improve their writing--especially their voice. 

4/26

The ending of this book was a true disappointment. I believe the reason I dislike it so much, was because it was too easy.

4/21

This causes stories to be a huge part of our society. Because of this stories are very important to us. Causing people to obsess over shows, movies, books, etcetera.

4/19

She had no idea what to expect. When she got elected to go, she did not argue, she did not fight, and she did not question it. She knew that she was an adequate candidate.

4/18

4/7

4/4

Try to write it without to be:

is am are

was were

be been being

e

3/24

Vonnegut assumes that because writing is what is fulfilling to him, that it is the same for all these unhappy people.

Just because Vonnegut finds fulfillment in writing doesn't mean everyone agrees.

3/22

3/15

All of a sudden, a gunshot can be heard. The sound of glass shattering can be heard.

To Be

is am are

was were

be been being

12/13

What I learned from watching these documentaries is to use appropriate music, something that fits the topic without lyrics.

12/12

Using this logic, you could ignore all of his other rules, and still write an amazing piece. Despite his hard rules, it seems apparent that he recognizes this fact. Doing such shows intelligence and is deservant of respect.

12/9

It is important to note that there are so many ways to rephrase sentences.

For whom is it important? Give this sentence a subject.

12/8

The episode I reviewed was also the final episode of it’s season. This episode was about a group of wooly mammoths making their way to the alps to survive the winter of the Ice Age. This episode also dives into the beginning of human domination and how humans were beginning to have an edge in their environment.

12/6 Eliminate the questions here.  Make these statements.

12/2

People fear for being regarded as a “feminazi”. People fear for others rejecting them because of it. People fear for being stereotyped negatively.

12/1

This causes stories to be a huge part of our society. Because of this, stories are very important to us. Causing people to obsess over shows, movies, books, etcetera.

11/17

When you think of the word documentary, what comes to mind?  When I think of it the words interviews, non-fiction and narration are just a few words that come to mind.

11/15

Try using a colon in the following sentence.

Try using a dash in the following sentence.

Try using a colon in the following sentence.

In your next story, you should incorporate two things: a colon and a dash.

Try using a dash in the following sentence.

Students don't realize that the dash can improve their writing--especially their voice. 

11/14

It's= it is/has.

Use "its" for possession (i.e. we took the car and fixed its engine) 

this one is like "his."  I've never seen anyone make this mistake: hi's.

Put the proper form of "its" or "it's" in the blanks below and see what you can do about the passive voice.

 The reason why the movie is so interesting is because _____ unique in _____ sanity.

To be:

is am are

was were

be been being

11/7

My favorite documentary of the three that I watched was Back Yard Battle. I noticed how well done this one was. It contained almost every single aspect we learned about making documentaries. Such as interviews, cutaways and a lot of footage. And it kept me interested the entire time.

e

11/3

Another aspect of this type of literature that peaked my interest was that it was written from the perspective of John Watson, Sherlock's partner in crime.

11/1

She had no idea what to expect. When she got elected to go, she did not argue, she did not fight, and she did not question it. She knew that she was an adequate candidate.

10/31

I liked the story because it came from a woman's perspective and told what it was like to live back then. It was also about how you have to face  many obstacles by living in a poor country as a girl who is turning into a woman.

The story provides an interesting look at the obstacles girls faced in a different time and place. Readers in this country today can still make connections to the universal themes.

10/28

Half of why I chose this documentary in particular was because of how interesting I found the subject matter, certainly, but the other half was due to how it was put together.

 

10/27

The thing I was most excited to do with my new license, was also the thing I was least prepared for. I was extremely excited to take my first passenger up in an airplane.

I was least prepared for but most excited to do one thing: taking my first passenger up in an airplane.

10/25: Have a subject doing something

Many years later the Utopian's language was learned by explorers and free communication was established between the countries.

The ending of the book ruined the experience--it seemed like a cop out.

10/6

As far as these daily grammar lessons go there was always something wrong with the sentences and the thing was it was your job to know how to fix them but also how to rephrase them.

As far as the daily lessons went, we always had to fix sentences and "write them better" in our own, authentic voices.

I stepped outside again. Outside, while gazing at the wondrous sky, I thought of what I was doing, where I was going, and what would happen once I got there. I laid down in the grass bordering the hotel and let my mind wander. It was good, I surmised, that I had taken the plunge before thinking about it, for if I had I surely wouldn’t have gone.

10/3:

(Poe's writing)

It may be strange at times but I think that is because it was all written in the 19th century or that Poe is a bit strange himself. 

9/22

One of my favorite stories of the ones we have read is In The Family. The reason this was one of my favorites is because it was creepy, yet still intriguing.

After realizing that we were going to be late, my dad started driving fast, and that is why he was pulled over. His ticket cost him 125 dollars, and it also got him 4 points on his license.

Realizing we were running late, my dad sped up but got a little carried away.

 A cop pulled him over and gave him a four point ticket and a $125 dollar fine.

9/6 

After sitting in my garage for over a year, someone stole my bike.

While having dinner the beeping sound stopped.

After nervously circling each other for a while he raised one of his short swords and set the other one just to his right.

Trying to untangle my feet Doug approached with a sadistic smile on his face slowly with trident in hand.

8/29

One key point that I think points to the meaning of this book is that there are many spies within the council.

Many spies infiltrated the council, which matters in the book.

is am are

was were

be been being

8/23

Choose one or all to rephrase:

What reverb does is it takes a signal input, and adds this effect to it that makes it sound like you are hearing it in a very big room.

What I have come to realize is that this is a very effective way to spice up the character of your beat. 

What I have found myself doing is setting up beat 1 of the loop to about a half a beat later.

8/22

The ending of this book was a true disappointment. I believe the reason I dislike it so much, was because it was too easy.

One instance where this is shown is when Gabriel Syme makes a speech to the anarchists to elect him as the new Thursday

 

This is why it is always better to tell the truth no matter how it may make you appear.

My name is  Monsieur Maillard I am the proud director of the asylum here in France I take great pride in my job and I wish to run this lovely hospital the best I can.

Last one:

As far as these daily grammar lessons go, there was always something wrong with the sentences, and the thing was it was your job to know how to fix them but also how to rephrase them.

As far as the daily lessons went, we always had to fix sentences and also try to "write them better" in our own authentic voices.

3/10

Choose one or all to rephrase:

What reverb does is it takes a signal input, and adds this effect to it that makes it sound like you are hearing it in a very big room.

What I have come to realize is that this is a very effective way to spice up the character of your beat. 

What I have found myself doing is setting up beat 1 of the loop to about a half a beat later.

3/8

Their grief was tremendous, but the first daughter was wise,e and she knew that love was greater than grief.

Although grief paralyzed the family, the eldest daughter knew love would prevail.

3/3

One of my favorite stories of the ones we have read is In The Family. The reason this was one of my favorites is because it was creepy, yet still intriguing.

3/1

The great thing about the caribbean is that all of these tales make you think in some way. That is what makes them stick in your mind is that they're more than just stories but physically change you, a philosophy that makes you think differently, act different, be different thats the amazing thing about the caribbean.

2/29

Aunt Lucy wasn't necessarily a bad person but she surely wasn't a good person either. All Lucy was was a businesswoman she owned a not so successful jewelry business.

2/26

Through all of the writing that we read in this unit from the Caribbean, a majority of it had elements of fate and family in it. It could be that this is something that many cultures in the Caribbean were or are centered around, or maybe was a common theme among writers at the time.

2/25

In the story “In the Family”, it talked about the structure of the family(like the head of the family, Clara), even if it wasn’t the main focus of the actual plot.

2/23

Try using a colon in the following sentence.

Try using a dash in the following sentence.

Try using a colon in the following sentence.

In your next story, you should incorporate two things: a colon and a dash.

Try using a dash in the following sentence.

Students don't realize that the dash can improve their writing--especially their voice. 

2/19

The thing I was most excited to do with my new license, was also the thing I was least prepared for. I was extremely excited to take my first passenger up in an airplane.

I was least prepared for but most excited to do one thing: take my first passenger up in an airplane.

2/18

When building the middleground you have to be careful. Because you most likely already have some melody or sample that has a strong presence in the track (you could call it the foreground). When building the middleground, you don’t want it to overpower the highs, but at the same time you want the sound to be related to the bits you have already pieced together.

She thought it was beautiful the way he would take in every ounce of your skin, how he really take you in let his eyes drift over every piece of your body.

2/10

In the beginning of the story when Megan is first seen by Rachel across the train tracks, she's "Jess," the fantasy alter ego Rachel makes her out to be.

2/9

An example is in the invisible children documentary the music was very upbeat and inspiring, it made you feel motivated.

2/8

After sitting in my garage for over a year someone stole my bike.

While having dinner the beeping sound stopped.

After nervously circling each other for a while he raised one of his short swords and set the other one just to his right.

Trying to untangle my feet Doug approached with a sadistic smile on his face slowly with trident in hand.

2/5

 After realizing that we were going to be late my dad started driving fast and that is why he was pulled over.

1/29

The newspaper was not supposed to come while we were on vacation, but there was a communication problem, and they were in a big pile on our porch.

1/28

This causes stories to be a huge part of our society. Because of this stories are very important to us. Causing people to obsess over shows, movies, books, etcetera.

1/26

My question is that is it humanly possible to have a society with such a simplicity for wealth, for example today it seems capitalism creates problems with wealth.

1/25

It's= it is/has.

Use "its" for possession (i.e. we took the car and fixed its engine) 

this one is like "his."  I've never seen anyone make this mistake: hi's.

Put the proper form of "its" or "it's" in the blanks below and see what you can do about the passive voice.

 The reason why the movie is so interesting is because _____ unique in _____ sanity.

1-22

For the documentary study the topic I chose was snowboarding. The reason I picked this topic was because it seemed to be the most intriguing.

For the Documentary Study,  I chose snowboarding as a theme because I love it.

1/21

See what you can do about the highlighted phrases:

There were so many aspects and small details of this story that I could relate to.

1/19

Choose at least two and make them active:

1/15

Make these sentences active.   

Don't use "to be" (is, am, are, was, were, be, been, being)

1/14

I made my way over to the tree. I looked up. I was scared, I didn’t want to end up falling down because I knew that the fall would probably kill me.

1/12

All I know is I was one of the people who were supposed to be there but no one else was.

1/11

See if you can eliminate the highlighted phrases:

It is important to note that there are so many ways to rephrase sentences.

For whom is it important? Give this sentence a subject.

1/8

1/7 (Subject Abuse)

She saw me at the store. She stopped to talk.  She told me that she had moved, and she said her new house was just off Iris.

1/5/16

12/15

If someone is feeling stressed, they use soma, if someone had a bad day, they use soma, if you want to take a vacation, they just use soma.

12/11

My only question is; can we have identity and stability at the same time?

12/10

The ending of the story The Scent of Cinnamon is very surprising. I think that both of the characters die early in the story and when they meet they are both dead.

12/8

The ideas and aspects behind this book for the time period is also unique because being written and published in 1932, the way Aldous was thinking was especially futuristic and unique because the ideas in the book were not relevant at this time period.

12/7

What makes a good detective story work? It is the use of the story within a story.

12/3

Her husband was always at work and she couldn't really complain, they did love each other she just wanted a different life.  A more important life.  In most people's eyes she was nothing just a baby carting stay at home mom.

Her husband was always at work, and she couldn't really complain. They did love each other.  She just wanted a different life--a more important life.  In most people's eyes, she was nothing: just a baby carting, stay at home mom.

11/30

There were also many other symbolic moments in the movie that indicated the importance of change and the fact that there is no one right way to live life. One of the first was when the basketball team captain missed a shot for the first time.

11/19

Herland is a very interesting book so far and really makes you apply yourself to a new way of thinking.

11/17

But even with all these people refusing and denying the truth there is always people that accept it.

11/10

Biggie was known for making you feel his struggle, using emotional honesty, and creating credible love songs.  He was a skilled storyteller with a complex flow that inspired and influenced artists today. He has been named as one of the best MCs of all time.

11/9

The aim of the book is to compare and contrast two societies. By paying attention to these comparisons it is easy to see how each particular society is run. 

11/6

A lot of people like being on top, but tend to forget the important things. I know that if I’ve been on top and I’ve forgotten what's most important to me.

11/5

What he experiences in hell is tough for him to handle and it is a real emotional endurance test for him. Dante almost can’t make it but with motivation and encouragement he pushes on.

11/3

Huck’s dilemma on pages 66 and 67 is he is helping a slave run away and he doesn’t know how he feels about that.

10/27

Choose at least two and make them active:

10/23

But the absolutely worst event is when people adopt the view that video games are just a pastime.

10/20

10/19

CYWTB?

Rephrase the following sentence.  Try to get rid of "was because it was."

The reason my line kept getting tangled was because it was the first time I used that kind of 

My line kept getting tangled because I had never used that kind of reel.

The documentaries I chose weren’t very interview driven, and I believe that was because it was mainly one person stating facts about what they know and what science has proven, and so there wasn’t really an urgency for interviews.

9/28

Rephrase this:

When someone watches "The Fisher King" for the first time they might miss some of the details and this can make some viewers confused. There is alot to think about and its interesting to think about what the movie says about helping each other out and how we are all fisher kings and fools and need to be real.

11/4

It's= it is/has.

Use "its" for possession (i.e. we took the car and fixed its engine) 

this one is like "his."  I've never seen anyone make this mistake: hi's.

Put the proper form of "its" or "it's" in the blanks below and see what you can do about the passive voice.

 The reason why the movie is so interesting is because _____ unique in _____ sanity.

9/15

Huck’s dilemma on pages 66 and 67 is he is helping a slave run away and he doesn’t know how he feels about that.

9/11

After the rain falls and you smell the fresh breeze flow through the air into your lungs.

The following sentence suffers from "I abuse" one of the side effects of writing actively.  See if you can reduce the number of "I's."

  I had no recollection of what I had done to get here.  I didn’t know where I was or how I had gotten there.  I gathered my things, and I tried to find my way home.  I wasn’t worried, because I had a compass.

9/10

Which needs what?

Don't use:

Is Am Are

Was Were

Be Been Being

It is difficult for me to say what it was that made me think it wasn't going to be hot in the 300 hallway.

For this assignment my topic was restaurants. The reason I picked this topic was because it seemed to be the most intriguing.

8/28

Half of why I chose this documentary in particular was because of how titillating I found the subject matter, certainly, but the other half was due to how it was put together.

 

8/25

It is important to note that there are so many ways to rephrase sentences.

For whom is it important? Give this sentence a subject.

Marcus then turned to Sawyer. Sawyer was in charge of getting guns, in case they did run into any resistance.

The real skill is when you get an author that can make you want to keep reading without the crazy cliffhangers, the authors that can get every page to give an equal feeling of mystery and anticipation for what is to come and at the same time make you want to read what you just read all over again.

I have to point out at this point that there are a ton of unexplained mysteries here. People keep mentioning weird things. Anderson keeps thinking about something called night shades.

I think  the main point Mark Twain is trying to prove is that morals don’t serve society, instead they lead people to stray away from what they know in their heart is right from wrong.

12/16

I had already watched my chosen documentaries multiple times in the past but by watching them again with analytical purpose, I refined my visual eye and learned what I liked and disliked.

12/15 My overall impression of The Adventures of Tom Sawyer was that it is a book that can be enjoyed by all ages indeed a timeless classic.

12/11

Huck’s dilemma on pages 66 and 67 is he is helping a slave run away and he doesn’t know how he feels about that.

12/9

I would agree with the side of Huck that says to not report Jim and let him live free. But I do understand the struggle he faces with wanting to report Jim. I don't agree but I understand where he’s coming from.  

The closest thing I can think of is if you saw/were part of a murder like an accessory and you were sworn not to tell but it weighed on your soul till the point of snapping.

12/8  Turn these questions into statements.

11/17

What really makes it cool is the way they have the credits in the supermarket items. You barely see them but you notice them while listening.

11/14 (colon, dash semi-colon)

Try using a colon in the following sentence.

Try using a dash in the following sentence.

Try using a colon in the following sentence.

In your next story, you should incorporate two things: a colon and a dash.

Try using a dash in the following sentence.

Students don't realize that the dash can improve their writing--especially their voice. 

11/13

To me it was really engaging because the clips gave you a slight taste of what was to come and although not every one of the documentaries used these techniques many of them had something similar that was just as interesting.

11/6 

I thought she _________  something mean but she accused me of _____________ something she hadn't even thought.

(Use the proper for of infer or imply)

10/31

I didn't know what I was expecting to see, but this wasn't it.  It was the same five 

judges from my trial, or whatever it was, staring at me. 

10/30

The city wasn't too safe then, and it still isn't now.  We were worried because her dad was forced to travel to the city by his boss.

10/28

It is impressive to know that the whole song was recorded in one take.   

 (By the band)

 

10/22

Make the following sentence active: 

The main reason I was happy was because I was chosen for the job by the owner.

10/20

Rephrase the following sentence.  Try to get rid of "was because it was."

The reason my line kept getting tangled was because it was the first time I used that kind of reel.

My line kept getting tangled because I had never used that kind of reel.

10/9

 I grabbed my bags and headed towards the end of the baggage claim.  I got to the end and no sign of her.  I walked back and still no sign.  I glanced back at the end of baggage claim and thought I saw her.

10/7

While some might question it’s moral implications, when you have something so accurate and such a low failure rate why not use it? Especially when its better than the current system in place.

it's= it is/has

use "its" for posession

10/6

The most interesting thing I've learned is that it is important to write actively. It is a new concept for some.  It is a thing that most serious writers would say is true.

Don't use:

Is Am Are

Was Were

Be Been Being

10/2

Her husband was always at work and she couldn't really complain, they did love each other she just wanted a different life.  A more important life.  In most people's eyes she was nothing just a baby carting stay at home mom.

Her husband was always at work, and she couldn't really complain. They did love each other.  She just wanted a different life--a more important life.  In most people's eyes, she was nothing: just a baby carting, stay at home mom.

9/26:

She saw me at the store. She stopped to talk.  She told me that she had moved, and she said her new house was just off Iris.

9/23

What do you notice about these sentences?

Symbolism is another key element in most of Poe’s stories. Symbolism is used to help the reader see his views on life, religion, love, and death. Symbolism is a very striking element in many of these tales.

9/22

Try using a colon in the following sentence.

Try using a dash in the following sentence.

Try using a colon in the following sentence.

In your next story, you should incorporate two things: a colon and a dash.

Try using a dash in the following sentence.

Students don't realize that the dash can improve their writing--especially their voice. 

9/14:

Fake news story from another Leek class:

It all came as a big shock when it was discovered that a Saint

 

Patrick's Day enthusiast was murdered by a group of rioting 

leprechauns. The body was found this past Saint Patrick's 

Day, outside of a pub, not far from the home of the enthusiast. 

At first authorities thought it was just another drunken barfight 

gone too far, but on closer inspection the truth became 

apparent. It was death by pinch for this unlucky Saint Patrick's 

Day fanatic; deliverd by the vary mascot of the holidy in celebration. 

9/15

(Poe's writing)

It may be strange at times but I think that is

 because it was all written in the 19th century 

or that Poe is a bit strange himself. 

9/12

I wasn't sure if I was dying or dead or dreaming.  I wasn't particularly comfortable but I wasn't in pain either.  I was getting increasingly cold then I got hit by a wave of confusion.

e

Short Fiction 9/5 Tense changes and punctuating dialogue

Foundations 9/5

While we were on vacation, the newspaper was not supposed to come but there was a communication problem and they were in a big pile on our porch.

9/2

I thought about mentioning the dreams I had when I collapsed, but I hesitated.

is am are

was were 

be been being

She looked up at him and realized, that all she knew in that instant was that that boy was as warm as the summer sun.

8/28

The main reason I was happy was because I was chosen for the job by the owner.

8/26

It is important to note that there are so many ways to rephrase sentences.

For whom is it important? Give this sentence a subject.

8/25

It is difficult for me to say what it was that made me think it wasn't going to be hot in the 300 hallway.

8/22

Rephrase the following sentence.  Try to get rid of "was because it was."

The reason my line kept getting tangled was because it was the first time I used that kind of reel.

3/11

Revise this for tense changes and punctuating dialogue:

    My grandmother was still staring at the menu. “Well, I just don’t know.  I guess I’ll just have the same as you, Marie.” 

           Nikka jotted it down. 

        “And what about you? Would you like the halibut?” My mother was turned towards me.

“I don’t like fish,” I said flatly. “I’ll have a hamburger, well-done.  No tomatoes.”

My mom sighed, “I wish you would be adventurous once in a while.  It’s been years since you tried fish.”

I stared at my nails.  When I looked up again, Nikka was gone.  

I thought about mentioning the dreams I had when I collapsed, but I hesitated.

    My grandmother is still staring at the menu. “Well, I just don’t know.  I guess I’ll just have the same as you, Marie.”

Nikka jots it down.

     “And what about you? Would you like the halibut?” My mother is turned towards me.

“I don’t like fish.” I say flatly. “I’ll have a hamburger, well-done.  No tomatoes.”

My mom sighed. “I wish you would be adventurous once in a while.  It’s been years since you tried fish.”

I stared at my nails.  When I looked up again Nikka was gone.  

3/10

After nervously circling each other for a while he raised one of his short swords and set the other one just to his right.

Trying to untangle my feet Doug approached with a sadistic smile on his face slowly with trident in hand.

Climbing out of my window and making my way down my patio roof, I jumped down on the grass and looked around to see if anyone had woken up. Nothing I was in the clear, I walked over to the fence and unlocked it and left it open so I could go in the same way tomorrow morning. I walked into the street with my hood up just incase my parents came out side looking for me. At the end of the street, I knew I was in the clear, I pulled off my hood and ran down to the bridge. No one was there yet, all I could hear was the crickets and the beating of my heart. Silence, It was beautiful, it was like this is how it would have been if people never existed.

2/26

I liked the story because it came from a woman's perspective and told what it was like to live back then. It was also about how you have to face  many obstacles by living in a poor country as a girl who is turning into a woman.

The story provides an interesting look at the obstacles girls faced in a different time and place. Readers in this country today can still make connections to the universal themes.

2/24

It was then that Tom noticed the change in Michaels demeanor. He was still his confident and arrogant self but now Tom could see it was simply a facade.Most people wouldn’t have noticed it but it was the small things that gave it away: the sweat that glistened on Michaels brow, the slight shaking in the hand that held Tom’s arm, and most of all, the way his opposite hand hovered suspiciously close the gun hanging on his belt.

2/21

Here is a better way of writing this sentence:

2/18

As far as these daily grammar lessons go there was always something wrong with the sentences and the thing was it was your job to know how to fix them but also how to rephrase them.

As far as the daily lessons went, we always had to fix sentences and "write them better" in our own, authentic voices.

2/10

Bouldering, is where you freestyle and the walls are very short roughly 15 feet. And bouldering gyms are covered in  foam mattresses so if you fall you won't get hurt too bad.

2/6

After only living there for two years my family moved back to Colorado but instead of moving back to the mountains we moved right into downtown Boulder. 

It was at the end of my sophomore year of high school where I discovered my passion for sports.

At the end of my sophomore year of high school, I discovered my passion for sports.

1/27:

Fake news story from another Leek class:

It all came as a big shock when it was discovered that a Saint Patrick's Day enthusiast was murdered by a group of rioting leprechauns. The body was found this past Saint Patrick's Day, outside of a pub, not far from the home of the enthusiast. At first authorities thought it was just another drunken barfight gone too far but on closer inspection the truth became apparent. It was death by pinch for this unlucky Saint Patrick's Day fanatic; deliverd by the vary mascot of the holidy in celebration. 

1/23

 we need to work on.

1/10

I was born in a dome in Antarctica, several miles inland of the Amundsen Sea, and I was a year old when The Great Disaster happened.  I was sheltered until I was twenty-five, which is the legal adult age at the time.  I was schooled and taught extensively math and science, but what I really wanted to do was write books.

2nd Q 2013

12/13

Bouldering, is where you freestyle and the walls are very short roughly 15 feet. And bouldering gyms are covered in 

foam mattresses so if you fall you won't get hurt too bad.

12/10:

Proofread the following sentences and tell me what needs fixing and which one you like 

better.

"and/but scan"

First word scan

look for "to be"

Subject abuse

                                                bonus points: dangling preposition

 we need to work on.

12/6:

My favorite documentary of the three that I watched was Back Yard Battle. I noticed how well done this one was. It contained almost every single aspect we learned about making documentaries. Such as interviews, cutaways and a lot of footage.  And it kept me interested the entire time.

12/5:

I made my way over to the tree. I looked up. I was scared, I didn’t want to end up falling down because I knew that the fall would probably kill me.

12/3:

(Poe's writing)

It may be strange at times but I think that is because it was all written in the 19th century or that Poe is a bit strange himself.

12/2:

In this paper I will point out the patterns that stood out the most to me from what I've read so far, so that a better understanding of what Poe is all about, is found.

The stories we've covered so far contain patterns and overlapping themes that might say something about Poe's personality and views on life.

11/15:

 After realizing that we were going to be late my dad started driving fast and that is why he was pulled over, his ticket

cost him 125 dollars and it also got him 4 points on his license.

Realizing we were running late, my dad sped up but got a little carried away.  A cop pulled him over and gave him a 

four point ticket and a $125 dollar fine.

11/8:

The main reason I was happy was the fact that it was Friday.

11/7:

Make these sentences active.

11/5:

The following sentence suffers from "I abuse" one of the side effects of writing actively.  See if you can reduce the number of "I's."

I had no recollection of what I had done to get here.  I didn’t know where I was or how I had gotten there.  I gathered my things, and I tried to find my way home.  I wasn’t worried, because I had a compass.

11/1:

It is important for filmmakers to remember there are many tools to tell a story.   One example of this is Exit through the Gift Shop where still images of street art is used.

10/31:

State this actively and punctuate the dialogue properly:

There was an awkward silence in the office when Kirk was asked did you order the Hoo Flung Poo.

The office fell silent when Isabelle asked Kirk, "Did you order the Hoo Flung Poo?"

10/28

10/25 

The main reason I was happy was because I was chosen for the job by the owner.

10/24 CYWTB?

Rephrase the following sentence.  Try to get rid of "was because it was."

The reason my line kept getting tangled was because it was the first time I used that kind of reel.

My line kept getting tangled because I had never used that kind of reel.

1st Quarter

10/21

As far as these daily grammar lessons go there was always something wrong with the sentences and the thing was it was your job to know how to fix them but also how to rephrase them.

As far as the daily lessons went, we always had to fix sentences and "write them better" in our own, authentic voices.

10/18

Make these sentences active.

Do an "And Scan"

Do a "First Word Scan"

What's wrong here?

See if you can eliminate the highlighted phrases:

It is important to note that there are so many ways to rephrase sentences.

For whom is it important? Give this sentence a subject.

10/11

Use a colon in your rewrite the following sentence.

 

Try using a dash in the following sentence.

In your next story, you should incorporate two things: a colon and a dash.

Try using a dash in the following sentence.

Students don't realize that the dash can improve their writing--especially their voice. 

10/10

In the end every adaptation of every story and every movie has it's flaws and perfections.  In a way this is important in an entertainment driven society because it divides the two types of people readers and watchers.  And depending on the type of person stories like Holmes describe people taste for mystery and excitement.

10/8

I liked the story because it came from a woman's perspective and told what it was like to live back then. It was also about how you have to face  many obstacles by living in a poor country as a girl who is turning into a woman.

The story provides an interesting look at the obstacles girls faced in a different time and place. Readers in this country today can still make connections to the universal themes.

10/7

 After realizing that we were going to be late my dad 

started driving fast and that is why he was pulled 

over, his ticket cost him 125 dollars and it also got 

him 4 points on his license.

Realizing we were running late, my dad sped up but got a little carried away.  A cop pulled him over and gave him a 

four point ticket and a $125 dollar fine.

Rhetorical Questions:

 Back Yard Battle. 

8/30

My second argument why humans tend to be allured by the criminals is humans are appealed by danger.

8/26

8/23

First Quarter is above

I am often disappointed by the music that is thrown into the background of many documentaries but I was well satisfied with LT11’s soundtracks.

In the end every adaptation of every story and every movie has it's flaws and perfections.  In a way this is important in an entertainment driven society because it divides the two types of people readers and watchers.  And depending on the type of person stories like Holmes describe people taste for mystery and excitement. 

Fake news story from another Leek class:

It all came as a big shock when it was discovered that a Saint Patrick's Day enthusiast was murdered by a group of rioting leprechauns. The body was found this past Saint Patrick's Day, outside of a pub, not far from the home of the enthusiast. At first authorities thought it was just another drunken barfight gone too far, but on closer inspection the truth became apparent. It was death by pinch for this unlucky Saint Patrick's Day fanatic;deliverd by the vary mascot of the holidy in celebration. 

Being oppressed by censorship at school is seen as reasonable but to censor our right to information and freedom of speech online is far beyond crossing the line. 

There have been allegations from a undisclosed source that Sarah Palin is trying to enter the Real World house, as a GOP candidate no less, yet sources within production at MTV conveyed that she is really trying to work out a new reality show angle.   Is this what politics in America have been reduced to?  A reality show on MTV.  What happened to the network for music videos?   

After spending a year in my garage someone stole my bike.

My second argument why humans tend to be allured by the criminals is humans are appealed by danger.

Punctuate the dialogue correctly:

(taken from Creative Writing Success TIps)

Incorrect: "You should be proud of your name", Lin said.

Incorrect: "Watch out!," She yelled,

Correct: "You should be proud of your name," Lin said.

Correct:

  (tab) "Watch out!" she yelled. "Do you want to get hurt?"

  (tab)  He shrugged  and made a face, "Not really." 

   

"do you want to get hurt"? He shrugged and made a face. "Not really." 

1/9

Rephrase the following sentence.  Try to write this actively. Have an actor and an action; make sure your subjects do something.

Examples: 

There are many things that are important for young writers to keep in mind when writing newspaper articles, the most crucial is to make sure their writing is active.

Young journalists--and satirists--need to keep many things in mind when composing articles, but two top the list: the inverted pyramid and active writing.

1/8

Rephrase the following sentence.  Try to get rid of "was because it was."

The reason my line kept getting tangled was because it was the first time I used that kind of reel.

12/17

12/13:

The seven deadly sins is a very popular interpretation of what it means to be a good or a bad person. No matter what religion you fall under these seven acts are typically seen as bad.

12/10

Combine these.  Also, let's talk about the tense.

12/7

12/4

e

12/3:

11/29

Bouldering, is where you freestyle and the walls are very short roughly 15 feet. And bouldering gyms are covered in 

foam mattresses so if you fall you won't get hurt too bad.

11/27

11/26

Use a colon in your rewrite the following sentence.

 

Try using a dash in the following sentence.

11/15

11/13

In the world of electric cars there has always been an abundance of ugly impractical vehicles. These cars appeal to no one and do little justice to the people that created them. Although the development of these cars progressed the technology being used it did more harm then good for electric cars in general.

11/9

As Rick was growing up all he wanted was to be seen as a normal child, his parents did a very good job of giving that to him, while he was growing up they treated him like one of there other two sons, besides having to do things like hold his stick for him in a family game of street hockey or throw the ball for him in football.

11/8

11/6

11/2

My favorite documentary of the three that I watched was Backyard Battle. I noticed how well done this one was. It contained almost every single aspect we learned about making documentaries. Such as interviews, cutaways and a lot of footage. And it kept me interested the entire time.

10/30

Halloween is on a Wednesday this year which is fine but not as cool as when it is on Friday.

Punctuate the dialogue correctly:

(taken from Creative Writing Success TIps)

Incorrect: "You should be proud of your name", Lin said.

Incorrect: "Watch out!," She yelled. "Do you want to get hurt?" He shrugged and made a face. "Not really." 

Correct: "You should be proud of your name," Lin said.

Correct: "Watch out!" she yelled. "Do you want to get hurt?"

He shrugged and made a face. "Not really."

To be:

is am are

was were

be been being

10/23: Make the following sentences active: 

The owner chose me for the job, which made me happy.

10/19

The most interesting thing I've learned is that it is important to write actively. It is a new concept for some.  It is a thing that most serious writers would say is true.

Older examples:

5/18  avoid using "you"

The middle of the switchbacks ended up being the nicests slides.  JT was featured for  a huge heelside pendulum slide where you rotate your board 180 to the left then spin it back under you.

5/17  ("and scan" with other options)

She was such a strong woman and she knew how to fix things.

5/15

As Rick was growing up all he wanted was to be seen as a normal child, his parents did a very good job of giving that to him, while he was growing up they treated him like one of there other two sons, besides having to do things like hold his stick for him in a family game of street hockey or throw the ball for him in football.

5/14

Bonnie Blair started speed skating when she was two. I’m sure she didn’t know then that she would be an Olympic champion for it. During Bonnie’s Olympic career she won five gold and one bronze medal.

5/7

In the world of electric cars there has always been an abundance of ugly impractical vehicles. These cars appeal to no one and do little justice to the people that created them. Although the development of these cars progressed the technology being used it did more harm then good for electric cars in general.

5/4

Do the scans see if you can combine these sentences

During her long and successful career Billie Jean King won 12 Grand slam singles titles, 14 Grand Slam women's doubles titles and 11 Grand Slam mixed doubles titles. She is considered one of the greatest female tennis players and female athletes in history.

5/1  Do the scans on this sentence:

After reading online about Rubin Carter, some of the information feels like internet conspiracy and certainly caught me off guard. 

4/30

Boxing wasn't the only sport Louis had an impact on.  Surprisingly, Golf was another one.  After retiring from Boxing Louis became a passionate golfer and he was eventually invited by the PGA to take part in a major tournament.

4/26

4/24

Combine these.  Also, let's talk about the tense.

The car finally comes to a stop.  I leap from the cramped car into the warm sun.

4/16

e

4/13

10/5

As far as these daily grammar lessons go there was always something wrong with the sentences and the thing was it was your job to know how to fix them but also how to rephrase them.

As far as the daily lessons went, we always had to fix sentences and also try to "write them better" in our own authentic voices.

10/2/12

My attempt:

10/1/12

Use a colon in your rewrite the following sentence.

 

Try using a dash in the following sentence.

In your next story, you should incorporate two things: a colon and a dash.

Try using a dash in the following sentence.

Students don't realize that the dash can improve their writing--especially their voice. 

9/27/12

Does this say much?  Deal with the highlighted stuff but also make this "say something."

In conclusion now I think you have a better understanding of why crime fascinates people.  It is because of the stories, the genres it can fill, the emotions, and the complexity of it.  These are not the only reasons but some and what I believe are the biggest reasons.

 

9/14/12

Proofread the following sentences and tell me what needs fixing and which one you like better.

"and/but scan"

First word scan

look for "to be"

I abuse

                                                bonus points: dangling preposition

9/8/12

The following sentence suffers from "I abuse" one of the side effects of writing actively.  See if you can reduce the number of "I's."

  I had no recollection of what I had done to get here.  I didn’t know where I was or how I had gotten there.  I gathered my things, and I tried to find my way home.  I wasn’t worried, because I had a compass.

I thought she _________  something mean but she accused me of _____________ something she hadn't even thought.

(Use the proper for of infer or imply)

8/28:  See what you can do to eliminate the verb "to be" 

is am are 

was were

be been being 

It is difficult for me to say what it was that made me think it wasn't going to be hot in the 300 hallway.

8/24  See if you can eliminate the highlighted phrases:

There are many people who don't believe it is important to write actively.

8/23

 It would be hard to write a book like this, but it was done very well.

8/22

Also, as a young computer person, it was frustrating how difficult it was to find a teacher of these skills, so now that I know them I think it’s nice to pass them on to other people.

There are many different types of climbing comps. Bouldering, is where you freestyle and the walls are very short roughly 15 feet. And bouldering gyms are covered in foam mattresses so if you fall you won't get hurt too bad. Also bouldering is endurance climbing and bouldering are the most popular comps to have because they’re very easy and you don’t need a partner to help you get to the top. They also have difficulty climbing which you use a rope to climb 18 feet tall walls, but they are very small. Then they have speed climbing, where basically the see who gets to the top first, basically the definition of a competition.

CYWTB? Documentaires

 

This was a very heavy yet inspirational short video that had that great interviews, process footage and showed how effective Invisble Children is.

 

It was very well done because it had many tools to engage the audience.

 

 

I am often disappointed by the music that is thrown into the background of many documentaries but I was well satisfied with LT11’s soundtracks.

 

 

Half of why I chose this documentary in particular was because of how titillating I found the subject matter, certainly, but the other half was due to how it was put together

 

To me it was really engaging because the clips gave you a slight taste of what was to come and although not every one of the documentaries used these techniques many of them had something similar that was just as interesting.

 

In Bowling for Columbine, when he steps out of the bank with a free gun some cheesy happy music starts playing and in Farenheit 9/11, during the intro where he speaks about the 2008 election, some very tense music is in the background, the kind you would usually hear in a horror movie.

 

Seeing that in the beginning of a film really draws you in, which is what every documentary strives to do.

 

One example of this is Exit through the Gift Shop where still images of street art is used.

 

 

The documentaries other people presented were much more professional and could rarely see errors.

 

What really makes it cool is the way they have the credits in the supermarket items. You barely see them but you notice them while listening.

After spearing their prey with poison, it takes them up to 12 hours to actually find it.