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My wife doesn’t want to make love - My wife doesn’t want to be intimate.
Are you in that terrible place in your marriage where you're saying my wife never wants to make love?
That happens a lot in marriages, and it's never a good sign.
In fact it's a very good indication of what your wife thinks about you, and her attraction level toward you. And don't ever believe the myth that this is just "what happens" after being in a marriage for a while. It's not supposed to happen!
Why You're Worried and Saying My Wife Never Wants to Make Love
There's a very solid reason that your wife doesn't want to make love with you. It's simple and it's a problem.
It's the fact that she's not attracted to you. Well duh you say, no kidding. But here's the problem. You've probably been conditioned by society to think that this is just what happens in marriage. Or you've looked at yourself in the mirror and thought maybe there was something wrong with your appearance that she just isn't into anymore.
Both wrong! She's not attracted to you anymore because of the man that you've become (or not become) in her eyes.
Now here's the tricky part, and what most husbands don't understand. She might not even realize herself that this is why she's not attracted to you anymore. So in other words if you're saying my wife never wants to make love, or that she's not attracted to you, she probably doesn't even know why she's not. I guess in a way this sort of gives you the upper hand...like a little sort of secret. That sounds way too conspiracy theory...but here's what I mean.
Your wife has DNA in her, dating from primitive days that makes her instinctively want a MAN who's a true MAN. A guy that she really can't tame in a way.
Here's proof! Back when you were dating, did you ever like or fall in love with a woman who was in love with a jerk. You wondered what the heck she saw in this guy? Why doesn't she like me when I'm so nice to her?
Well the fact is that she saw that guy as more of a man with VALUE. In the caveman days it would have been the fact that she saw him as the one that could protect her, give her some good healthy babies, and basically keep her alive. He was the guy who would be the man of the house. And he couldn't be sort of sissified.
What most guys don't get though is that this instinct doesn't change just because a woman has gotten married. She still instinctively wants the same exact thing in a man. However being that society has changed, her conscious mind has become a paradox and now she's doing things against her own nature to take the manliness away from you.
In short, she's turning YOU into exactly what she doesn't want. Sounds weird but it's absolutely true.
I didn't believe it either, but when I found this out, and started doing the right things and becoming the man of the house (the right way), I instantly became more attractive to my wife. She almost couldn't help herself, although the transition was at first a little dicey. It was against what she consciously thought she wanted me to be, but she couldn't help but REALLY enjoy what I was becoming.
And basically once I started doing these things correctly, I no longer had to say my wife never wants to make love.
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Is your marriage on the rocks right now? Are you having problems with your wife that you just can't fix?
Every marriage has its highs and lows, but sometimes it's more severe than that... Are you afraid that this particular problem you're facing now may be the straw that broke the camels back, so to speak?
If you're having marriage problems, then you need to understand what exactly is causing them. Why are you having problems in your marriage and with your wife?
Well, one to tell you something that you're not going to like to hear, but it needs to be said anyways...
You're facing problems in your marriage because you're not fulfilling your duty as a husband.
Ouch! I know, it sounds mean, but just hear me out. I really don't mean it as a personal attack on you... In my experience about 95% of husbands aren't fulfilling their duty as a husband, so you're certainly not alone.
Why? Because to truly fulfill your husbandly duties for your wife, you have to be the LEADER in your marriage.
It's not about the number of people you're in charge of, or having a charismatic or charming personality. Every man can be and has been a leader at some point...Your wife was initially attracted to you BECAUSE she saw those leadership traits in you. You just have to unlock them again.
So, what really defines a leader, and how can you become the husband your wife wants to follow?
What Really Defines a Leader?
He Is Fun to Be Around and doesn't let other people's business get him down...That includes your wife's unhappiness or her psychological mind games. Let YOU be the source of YOUR happiness, and f@% the rest. You don't have to be mean, just self dependent.
He Is Confidant in Himself, and knows that life is going to keep going for better or for worse, and that he might as well make the best of every situation...This naturally makes him a happy and healthy person to be around
He Is Charismatic and Loose; he lets himself define his own reaction to any given situation, and doesn't let other people's expectations affect his own actions...Because of this he is always enjoyable and interesting to be around - It just comes naturally
He Loves His Neighbor As Himself, and cares for the people that need caring for. He is loving, kind and he can be very affectionate, but he doesn't grovel or plead for attention like some men do.
He Is a Provider, not just of food and basic necessities, but of enjoyment, enlightenment and self worth. He provides his wife with a strong pillar of support that she can lean on when her own life isn't going the way she wants, and he can 'man up' when the need arises.
So, the reason you're having problems in your marriage right now is because somewhere along the line you lost one or more of these qualities in your wife's eyes. She can't convince herself to 'forgive him' or 'come back to him' or 'give it a second chance' because she doesn't FEEL it without those qualities.
From her perspective you no longer resemble the leader that she married - And don't get me wrong, EVERY man was a leader at some point - and because you don't resemble that Lion that you once were, she no longer has that biological NEED to be with you. She no longer feels compelled to follow you, and the absence of that feeling is what is driving the rift between the two of you.
If you can capture all of these qualities within yourself, then not only will you be prepared to take your marriage by the horns and have it as you will, but you will also be better prepared for life.
The men who are leaders in our world, even if it is only within their own personal lives, don't just enjoy better and healthier marriages, but even when things go sour (as they always do at some point) he can still remain happy, successful and confidant.
Why? Because he who leads is like a Lion, and what does a Lion have to be afraid of?
Absolutely Nothing.
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Further Reading:
Wife No Longer Interested In Intimacy
My Wife Walked Away From Marriage
My Husband Is Critical and Negative
My Husband Has Changed Towards Me
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