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My husband cheated on me while I was pregnant - He cheated on me while I was pregnant.
"I have just found out my husband cheated on me while I was pregnant. I am very disappointed, should I stay or leave him?"
The man that you adored to the point where you believe that he will not cheat has cheated on you and this is the worst imaginable thing that could happen to a woman. You don't know what to do now and you feel like getting over it by divorcing your husband, but rash decisions are often regretted.
You feel like cheating to get back at him or even give him a tight slap on his face and tell him you want to divorce. Maybe it is the other way round? You are afraid that he will leave you, so you choose to keep quiet and pretend nothing had happened or perhaps you will beg him to stop cheating? Usually all these actions will not make you feel any better, sometimes things may just turn out more badly.
Struggling with the choices to stay or leave your husband can be a tough decision to make. Don't let emotions take over you to do anything that can make you regret. Think carefully before you do anything.
Learn to understand the truth why your husband cheated on you. I do agree no matter what, your husband shouldn't cheat you in the first place especially when you were pregnant. However,
If your husband is showing strong sincerity to repair the marriage and is expressing guilt, you should consider giving him another chance to work on the marriage together. I am not saying you should forgive him immediately because you also need time to accept the fact and he should also be answerable for his actions too.
Be away for a while if you still feel that your resentment towards him is strong. You can try to unburden yourself by talking to good friend who can really give you a support and listening ear. Whether choosing to stay or leave your husband, you must think if divorce is the best choice for you and your child. Will you be able to cope the problems coming after divorce such as finances, giving the child a proper environment, etc? Apart from all these, there are actually many points to consider.
And, if you want to save your marriage, both of you have to work out a plan and some agreements so that you are not going to worry all the time that he is going to cheat you again because some how deep down inside your heart, you have lost trust and faith in him. Will he be able to assure you over and over again?
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Do you know what a shrew is? She is an ill-tempered scolding woman. A witch. And often she is the first to ask, "Why do husbands cheat?" Take a look at how a shrew treats her husband:
According to wedding vows, a woman promises to honor, love and respect her husband. Following are some actions this wife directed toward her husband. Notice whether these traits are loving and respectful:
*Lectures and makes demands
*Argues constantly
*Manipulates and intimidates
*Control freak
*Orders everyone around
*Yells most of the time
*Belittles and degrades
*Browbeater
*Makes a man shutdown
*Selfish and domineering
*Slaps the poor guy around
*Angry, cold and mean
*Emasculates Jon
*Acts like Sergeant Bilko
Now, I ask you, why would a husband treated so unkindly cheat?
Seriously, cheating is not acceptable. Women, however, sometimes are the cause for their husband seeking comfort, compassion and love elsewhere. Yes, it's wrong. And No, it can't be justified; but you can understand how a woman can drive a man away. You can understand how the constant verbal abuse under the whip of a shrew wife can inflict emotional pain on her spouse and contribute to his unfaithfulness. And is the reason why some husbands cheat.
There are men, however, who are going to cheat no matter what. Can't do anything about them. You either accept his cheating ways or leave.
On the other hand, there are many good men who want sound monogamous marriage. Women, please don't drive a good man away by undermining him, by nagging him. Keep your husband safe, sound and happy by honoring and respecting him.
How? By following the principles of love set down in the Book of Books that explain how relationships work best. For example, there are role specifics for husband wife. Together they act as a united team. One leads the other assists in harmony. When this arrangement is practiced marriages work; when it is usurped, trouble follows.
A man will leave his father and his mother and he must stick to his wife. In becoming one flesh, couples have agreed to work in harmony with each other--not at odds. They strive to attain oneness in purpose, working side by side, looking in the same direction together.
The key to achieving this harmony is in appreciating the leadership role of the husband. When he exercises his role with love, demonstrating deep love for his wife, she will appreciate and respect him.
When the wife acts as a complement to her husband, assisting him in carrying out his responsibilities toward the family, he will love her deeply because she works in harmony with him, respecting the decisions he makes. She won't be working at cross-purposes with him, demanding her way.
Disagreements will arise from time to time. How should they be handled? Do you exercise self-control to keep your tongue in restraint? Far better to discuss disagreements as they arise rather than letting them build up inside until they reach explosive proportions.
Brooding over a wrong almost always causes it to seem worse than it really is. Discuss it now or forget it. Is it only a passing remark? Let it pass. Does it need discussing?
Has your mate done something to distress you? Don't bluntly condemn; try raising the point in question form, or making a suggestion that will open it up for discussion. For example, you might say: 'Honey, there is something I don't understand. Could you help me?' Then listen. Try to understand the other person's viewpoint.
Before you speak, do you stop and think what effect your words will have on your mate?
Can you stop arguing, or must you have the last word?
When you treat your husband with love and respect, you will never have to ask, "Why do Husbands Cheat?"... Because yours won't!
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Further Reading:
Loneliness In An Unhappy Marriage
My Marriage Is On The Brink Of Divorce
My Husband Talks To Everyone Except Me
Wife Chooses Friends Over Husband
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