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My husband says he is miserable with me - My husband said I make him unhappy.
The unfortunate direction that many marriages take soon after taking the nuptial vows make many people dread walking down the aisle. Although you will certainly experience some changes in your marriage as time goes by, this does not necessarily mean that it should be headed for the divorce courts. When the love your husband feels for you begins to wane, there are some tips that will help you to make him happy once more. The following romantic tips will help you re-awaken the passion in your marriage so that you can make your husband happy once more.
Arrange for a date with your husband
Many people take dating for granted once they have settled into a life of marriage. However, if you would like to maintain a sense of newness in your marriage, you should consider having even some date nights with your husband, which will help you to spend quality time together.
You should not let your responsibilities weigh you down. Have some fun with your husband if you want him to be really happy. While finances may be tight, and you may think that the money you will spend on your date should rather be used in taking care of the kids, you should not neglect investing in your marriage. The kids won't lead a good life anyway if your relationship falls apart, or if it is devoid of happiness.
Planning for your special time together does not necessarily have to be expensive. For example, you may have a picnic and then take a romantic walk. It is the quality of time you spend together that really matters. This is something you should strive to have every week at least once.
Take care of yourself
You can easily fall into the routine of taking care of your family to such an extent that you begin to neglect yourself. For instance, you may be spending your resources in buying clothes for your kids without considering your own outfit. However, if you are interested in having a happy husband, you should ensure that you take care of yourself as well.
Try to think of how you used to look at the earlier times, when your husband was still crazy about you. Dress in the way you know he really likes, and don't forget your hair in the process. Cut out the best appearance just for him. However, taking care of yourself does not just involve your physical appearance. Your attitude plays a very important part as well. Are you happy yourself? This includes being happy with yourself.
If you let your husband be unhappy for long, he may even start considering filing for a divorce. Yet it is relatively easy to have a happy husband.
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Pulling up to the gas pump recently reminded me of an exchange a friend and I once had. We were discussing the work that goes into marriage and decided it was a lot like keeping your car full of fuel. As a matter of fact, this analogy could easily apply to most any relationship you have and try to maintain.
You see, we are all built with an emotional gas tank of sorts. Call it the love tank if you like. Somewhere deep inside our consciousness there is place that needs to be constantly fed with input from others. That fuel either nourishes or quells not only our own ability to function in society, but also our desire to continue interaction with the person that feeds that tank.
In a healthy marriage you and your spouse will regularly fuel each others tank with positive fuel.
Understand, the fuel we are talking about here does not have to be big expensive gifts or news making gestures. They certainly can be, but consider this. If your car had no gas gauge and you only filled your tank up when you happen to think your car is getting near empty, how long do you think it would be before you eventually slip up and run out of gas? I had an old car like that once. I can assure you, the best practice was to regularly fill the tank so it never had a chance to even get close to leaving me stranded on the side of the highway.
Your spouse will not often show you their gas gauge. You may not get a clue that his or her tank is empty until it is too late. Don't count on the occasional high dollar fill up. Do the little things every day that fill that tank. It is simply the everyday little compliments, loving touches, or selfless acts that you do for your spouse that keep that tank full. It could be something as simple as a thank you or as complex as a chore normally done by your partner that you take upon yourself to help with.
In unhealthy relationships you can count on the fact that one of two things has happened. Either you haven't bothered to refuel you spouses tank at all or the fuel that you put into the tank was bad.
All too often we get caught up so much in our daily lives or self-serving interests that we simply forget or don't feel we have the energy to invest in our partner's tank. You work all day investing your efforts into your employers tank. You stop at the bar or the shopping mall or the coffee shop to invest in your tank. You come home and invest in your children's tank by playing with them or helping them with their homework. You go over to a friend's house for a game of cards or a book club and invest in their tank. When you come home and there is actually time to invest in your spouse, you've run out of gas in your own tank and you no longer have the energy to invest in their's.
Put your relationship with your spouse before everything and everyone else on Earth. Invest in your partners tank first and most often.
When you invest in his or her tank though, be sure you are putting in the good stuff. You wouldn't put dirty fuel in your car and you shouldn't do that to your marriage either. Sometimes it seems when we do finally get around to our spouse, it's only to gripe or fuss about what didn't go right for us. That's a double whammy! Not only did you neglect the one who is supposed to be the love of your life, but when you did get around to them you added insult to injury with your negativity.
It's no wonder so many marriages end up in trouble. No wonder so many people feel as though they have been stranded on the side of the road far, far away from help or relief.
Invest in you partner's emotional tank. Is it full? Is it half full? Is the tank nearly dry? The only way to know for sure that you won't run out is to put good quality fuel in there several times a day.
Remember, love in its truest sense is not a feeling, it is an action. You say you love, but do you really? What do you do that you can truly call acts of love? Make sure your spouse's love tank is always full!
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Further Reading:
My Husband Is Withdrawing From Me
My Husband and I Argue Everyday
My Husband No Longer Desires Me
My Wife Is Not Happy With Me Anymore
How To Start A Difficult Conversation With Your Husband
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