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My husband is withdrawing from me - My husband doesn’t show affection anymore.
It is quite common for a married couple to drift apart after a good few years of marriage. It's sad, but very true. The thing is they become so used to each other, that they end up assuming that the wife/husband knows how they feel. If this has happened to you, and you want to get your husband back, then read on and get some great tips to get the man in your life back into your arms again.
All too often those very important little things that keep a marriage exciting and rock-solid are forgotten and left along the wayside. This is when things become a little wobbly in the marriage and eventually end up as huge problems.
Ask yourself honestly now - is your husband still the most important person in your life? If your answer is an emphatic "yes" then the only thing that can be making your husband unhappy is the way you are treating him. To get your husband back, just as he was when you first got married, then you have to backtrack a bit and start treating the way you did back then.
Over the years you have probably started taking your husband for granted. He has become the person who puts the garbage out, the handyman who fixes things, and the person who pays the bills - that's all. The hugs and kisses you used to shower on him are long gone, the occasional breakfasts in bed, the shoulder massages after a long day at the office - all these things are now non-existent.
These might seem like non-essentials now, but all these little things are actually very important in a marriage. They are the very things that keep the fire burning in a marriage and keep the bond between you and your husband strong. Get your husband back - bring back these all-important little things that made him love you then.
It's not difficult to get your husband back when his love for you seems to be fading. Simply treat him the way he deserves to be treated. After all, he might be the person who puts out the garbage, fixes things, and pays the bills - all he wants in return is that you show him that you appreciate what he does for you - give him love.
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There are many mistakes that people make when they are trying to resolve a conflict. If you avoid these mistakes, you will prevent your partner from shutting down.
Avoid Conflict - Yes there is a problem, even if you don't acknowledge it yourself. I have tried this technique, and it usually comes back bigger and messier than it would have been if I took care of it when the issue first popped up. When there is a problem, and you have the resources to fix the issue, then you should do it then. Don't put it off!
Being Defensive - Acknowledge that you may be part of the problem. When you're busy being defensive, you're not helping find a solution to any problems that are discussed. If you find yourself as part of the problem, try and find a solution that goes around you.
Overgeneralizing/Using Absolutes - By using absolutes you tend to put someone on the defensive pretty quickly. "You never fill up the gas in the car!" is usually responded with "I put gas in the car 2 days ago". You should avoid words like "Always" and "Never". Also words like "You are" should be replaced with "You are acting like". For example, "You are a jerk", can be cleaned up to "You are acting like a jerk". This would reflect their current behavior.
Making Ultimatums - Making an Ultimatum only works if the other person is not willing to call you on it. I have had friends that try tell their significant other "If you don't stop drinking, I will take the kids, and leave." This only works if the other person is willing to do the work, but what happens if they don't stop like you wanted. Think of the boy that cried wolf, you can only say it so many times before people stop believing you.
Couples can love one another and yet find themselves drifting apart and headed for a divorce. There are steps you can take, with or without the aid of your spouse to get your marriage back into the loving place it once was.
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Refusing Therapy to Save Your Marriage
After promising to change and do anything to save your marriage, your husband may have agreed to attend therapy sessions, either alone or with you as a couple. During the initial stages of the sessions, he seems attentive and open to the situation, but as time goes on, he becomes more withdrawn and even irate about the sessions. Before you know it, he's refusing to attend therapy and doesn't seem to care how you feel about his change of heart.
Marriage counseling is a good opportunity for couples to work through their issues and discover what brought them to the painful crossroads in their relationships. In therapy sessions, alliances are formed between you, your spouse and the therapist, that abide by the belief that you are unique individuals who are to be looked at individually and as a couple.
While the counseling sessions can be emotionally gut-wrenching and hit raw nerves, both you and your husband should feel comfortable in your therapist's presence. If you find that your husband becomes stubborn and unreceptive to the counseling, ask him what the problem is. Perhaps he feels as if your marriage and its problems are private, and shouldn't be worked out in front of others, therapists included. There's also the possibility that he relives feelings of guilt from his affairs in every counseling session and doesn't want to deal with that feeling. We can't tell you what his exact thoughts are; the possibilities are endless.
If you feel that you're making excellent progress in your counseling sessions together, try to encourage him to work through the complications he's feeling. Be honest about the fact that you feel marital counseling is helping your relationship and mention that you're proud of his efforts.
If He Doesn't Like the Therapist Environment
Should your husband state that he's open to working on the marriage, but that the problem is the environment, then this will probably require rectification in order to keep things afloat. Ask him what he doesn't like about the therapist and their office. Maybe the office is too cold. Perhaps he feels judged by the therapist and presumes that the counselor empathizes with you as a victim of infidelity. Offer him the opportunity to switch out your current therapist and find someone who seems to fully engage the both of you in your sessions.
If you discover that your husband truly just isn't interested in therapy, but doesn't have any other possible solutions to help rebuild your relationship, this may be a sign that he's just not as invested in the marriage as you are.
50% of people divorce. Do not be another statistic. You Can Save Your Marriage. There are powerful techniques that will allow you to trust again and ignite the fire and passion back into your relationship. Save Your marriage today! Click Here
Divorce does not have to be your only option. Even if it feels as though your marriage can't be saved because of the ongoing conflicts between you and your spouse, it can be. There are techniques that you can begin using today that will not only stop a divorce but will help also you build a stronger and more loving marriage - Learn More Here
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Further Reading:
My Husband and I Argue Everyday
My Husband Says He Is Miserable With Me
My Husband No Longer Desires Me
My Wife Is Not Happy With Me Anymore
Why Can't I Get Along With My Husband
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